The child whines
If you ask your parents to describe nagging, the answers will be something like this:
"Endless requests that just make you mad. .."
"A whiff is when a child begins to cry and whimpers plaintively;I just have a heart that breaks with pity. .. "
" If the child starts to whine, it will not rest until I give in. .. "
These descriptions show how parents perceive nagging. They lose control and feel that the children are manipulating them. It is important to realize that for children, nagging is an effective way to get what you want. It's very simple - with the help of whining kids control adults. When a child suits a scene, especially in the presence of strangers, parents become ashamed( remember Dan's behavior), they feel defeated, they are overcome by anger and resentment.
The whine can be expressed in different ways:
• Grumbling, annoying tone.
• Words and expressions in which self-pity is expressed. The goal is to undermine the parents' confidence in the correctness of the decision. For example: "Everybody at school has such sneakers, but what am I worse? Nobody will want to play with me, everyone will laugh at me. "
• Sour, discontented mine, eyes in a wet place, sniffing nose.
• Eloquent gestures and facial expressions: shoulders and head are lowered, pleading gestures with their hands.
• Requirements repeated loudly and aggressively( this method children often use in crowded places, because parents easily make concessions to calm down the children who are noisy).
WITH WHAT THE BREAST
BEGINS. Children are not born whiners. Usually they learn this at a certain age from older brothers and sisters, from commercials, from toddlers in the manger and kindergarten, and sometimes even from their parents.
Adult nagging most often disappears under the mask of such complaints: "Look at how much I am doing for you, but I ask so little."Children try to do the same and quickly realize that with the help of whining you can always achieve your goal. If the parents resist, you need to whine longer and louder - and success is assured!
Andrea is the mother of two children, three-year-old Cathy and six-year-old Kurt. Kurt is an active and independent boy, he goes to school and likes to play football. Cathy is not interested in anything but whining. It's worth it to put her down on the floor or leave the room, as tears and reproaches begin.
"Looking at Cathy, you might think that I never play with her, but it's not. I just do it. I can not even leave the girl for a minute, I can not even get my laundry washed out of the car, because my daughter is starting to howl, "sighs Andrea." The pediatrician says that Katie is having a hard time parting with me and that this will eventually pass, but I'm already easyI can not anymore".
Last summer, parents tried to help Katie: they played with her, went to the beach and to the zoo. Unfortunately, this did not bring the desired result. Instead of rejoicing and having fun, the girl was always aching. She was not interested in anything, she needed only one thing: that her mother was next to her and only deal with her."I can not even talk peacefully with my husband or girlfriend, because Katie immediately starts to whimper," Andrea complains.
A woman believes that the roots of the problem lie in the infancy of Cathy. It seems to her that the daughter did not have enough attention."I guess I was too busy with Kurt, and Cathy was offended," says Andrea."Maybe it's because I'm a bad mother."
"My neighbor has three children," says Andrea.- Her daughter, the same age as Cathy, whines very rarely. Probably, it is very unpleasant to watch the whining from the side. How many times the same thing was repeated: we talk with a neighbor about something in the courtyard, and then Katie begins to cry and demand that I take her in my arms. I'm ashamed that I have such a moody child. "
"I do so much for Cathy," Andrea says with hurt."I give her practically all my time, I can not go anywhere."I do not even remember when I was last in the movie, because it's worth me to get out of the house, as Cathy rolls up a terrible hysterics. "