What to do if the child is noisy at home

• If the child does not whine at home, they do not pay attention to him.

The words "do not pay attention" means not just not to talk with the child, but also to refrain from irritated looks, gestures, displeased expressions. Many parents try not to talk with the aching child, but at the same time show him their irritation in all ways:

• frowns;

• roll your eyes;

• shrug their shoulders;

• sigh;

• strictly look at the child;

• find a variety of ways without words to express their anger and irritation.

This behavior only adds fuel to the fire and acts no better than moralizing. The child is convinced that disobedience helps to attract attention and gain control over the actions of parents.

Kelly allowed her older son, nine-year-old Jacob, to ride with friends on a bicycle. The boys put on helmets and listened to detailed explanations of how far you can get in and when you need to return home.

Kelly's younger son, six-year-old Seth, wants to go along with the guys, but Mom does not allow. Seth has only recently started riding a large bicycle, and Keldy believes that he is not yet ready for distant independent trips.

Seth is unhappy that he stayed at home. He begins to whine and asks to let him go with everyone. Mom does not look at her son and does not react to his whining. She continues to do her own business: she puts the food in the fridge, then goes to the garden and starts to water the flowers.

Seth goes after her and continues to whine, demanding to release him along with everyone. The whimper goes into a cry, but Kelly does not pay attention to it. Having dealt with the flowers, she returns to the kitchen and warms up dinner for herself.

Seth in the meantime rolls a real hysterics, but her mother is adamant: her expression remains unperturbed, and the movements are calm. She continues to do her own business.

Of course, Kelly annoys the whining and cries of her son, she is uncomfortable to see how he cries, and the statements that he was treated unfairly act on nerves. She has to make great efforts to remain calm and ignore the yelling and screaming son who follows her from room to room. At the same time, Kelly knows that in this situation, this is the only correct behavior.

Earlier, when the eldest son was leaving to play with friends, she tried to appease the younger Seth, sweets, invited his friends, went with him to a children's cafe, so that he did not feel hurt.

The problem was that Kelly unconsciously let Seta understand that whining is the best way to get what she wants. Gradually, the son became more demanding and capricious, and my mother had to deal with all his free time. Constant reproaches and whining utterly exhausted Kelly.

Now the woman decided to act differently: do her own business and not pay any attention to the whiner. It would be easier, of course, to quit all business and take Seth to a cafe or cook him something tasty, so that he forgot his insults. But you will have to explain to your younger son that the elder will often be allowed more than him. And Seth must learn to accept these rules without hysteria and scandals. If this is not done now, while it is small, then it will be too late in adolescence.

Kelly continues to do her own business, singing softly, as if she's at home alone. Seth follows her from room to room, but he is already tired of whining and crying. He realized that he would not achieve anything by whining, so he calmed down and went into the yard to play with the dog.

Thus, Kelly gives his son to understand that nagging will not help him get what he wants and that, as long as he whines, Mom will not pay any attention to him. He will not be able to anger her or force her to yield.

Faced with this reaction, the child realizes that whining is an ineffective way to achieve what is desired. So, we need to find another, more effective way of communicating with parents.

But what if the reaction becomes inadequate? If the child in return can harm himself or others? For example, seeing that whining does not help to achieve the goal, Seth could go to the parents' bedroom and break my mother's favorite vase. Or, worse still, would sweep anger out on the dog.

If parents have witnessed such behavior, then they, of course, can react in response. But it is best in such cases, when the child becomes cruel and uncontrollable, seek help from specialists.

This article describes how to re-educate disobedient, whiny, capricious children, how to teach them to think not only about themselves, but about others. More serious problems need to be solved with the help of specialists.

Not paying attention to serious behavioral problems or justifying them with a difficult "period" that a child must grow, you are rendering a disservice to all family members. It is necessary to react sensitively to changes in the behavior of a child in order to show their attitude towards them in time.