Response to child nagging
• Parents should explain to the child in advance that the answer to nagging will be failure.
This is a great way to teach children to make an informed choice. For example, you have allowed the child to postpone the homework, because he wants to watch your favorite TV show. But if at this time the child begins to whine for any reason, the arrangement is canceled. Soon he will understand that whining does not achieve anything good, on the contrary - in response to any request made in a noisy tone, he will hear a firm "no".
Once the child starts whining, the channels of interaction with the parents are closed. We must specify the rules in advance. Choose the time when the baby is calm, and explain to him how you will behave if he starts to whine. For this purpose, the so-called "family council" is ideal, or choose the time when you can confidentially talk with the child face to face. In a calm and respectful manner, explain to the kid that:
• "If you ask me for something with a aching tone, then I will answer" no "";
• "If you start whining, I will not pay attention to you";
• "If you start whining in a crowded place, we will immediately leave";
• "If you start to whine in the car, we stop and do not go anywhere."
After that it's time to back up your words with actions. Usually, one or two times is enough for the child to understand that whining is a bad way of communication, which will not help to achieve the desired.
Parents of a ten-year-old Brit have decided to put an end to whining and let their daughter understand that from now on this does not work for them. They chose the right moment and explained to the girl that now she will have to learn how to express her requests in a calm and respectful tone, and also with understanding to treat failures. Parents also warned her daughter that if she starts to whine, then the answer will be one - "no".
A week after this conversation, Britney has a difficult task: she really wants to get expensive roller skates as a present for her birthday. The girl agreed with her parents that she will pay part of the gift from her savings, and a part will be paid by Mom and Dad. Britney long saved money, and now she has half the amount needed. But the best friend invited her to the water park, and if you go there, you will have to pay for the entrance, attractions and food.
Parents allowed the daughter to go to the water park with her friends on one condition: she must pay all expenses herself. But then Britney will spend her savings and will not be able to receive videos for her birthday.
Like any child, Britney wants both commercials and a water park. She begins to whine that other parents do not force children to pay out of their savings and buy everything they ask for. The girl behaves as if it were her "evil" parents who came up with the need to make decisions and be able to dispose of their money.
The perspiration does not stop, it becomes more insistent. Then the dad calls the parents of Britney's girlfriend and says that the daughter will not go with them to the water park. The girl tries to protest, but her parents ignore her and do their own thing, giving her an opportunity to reflect on her behavior.
The parents followed the scenario of their choice, although it was very difficult. Words in such a situation are useless, so Dad immediately went to action. When the girl began to whine, just did not pay attention to it. Faced with such a reaction of the parents several more times, Britney will understand that the answer to whining will always be failure.