Our reverence!
Love and respect for the eldest in the family is a test of nobility. We will not rush with the confidence that we have nothing to reproach ourselves for. We are now talking not about callousness, not about cruelty, when children, for example, doom the parents to loneliness, refuse to provide material support, or try to arrange for a home for the elderly, convincing themselves and others that it will be better for them, forgetting about the "smallness": The elderly themselves must dispose of their destiny. Let's talk about things quite ordinary."Our old people are well, calmly - most often they think children who live with their parents." "They've recently got a new apartment, it's become free. .."
Happens to observe moving, arranging a housewarming. Houses in the village are now set not so much that before - one room, half of which the furnace occupied, - large, spacious. There is a nursery, a bedroom for parents, and a living room where the family gathers in the evenings. And where will my grandmother live? Here, in the common room."Is it bad? Spacious, there's a lot of light. .. "
Our mothers and grandmothers are always nice, if it's good for us. They lived and live for us. We grew up in difficult post-war years. It was not easy to feed, it was even harder to put on, to shod, and they cared for us to learn, they stepped on in life. Of course, the state provides an opportunity to study free of charge, but we owe much of our education to our parents, they dragged us out, working sometimes beyond measure, giving everything to us. And now we are no-no and yes we allow ourselves: "You do not know this.""You will not understand this."
They are still worried about our affairs. They ask with interest, looking into the eyes: "How are you at work?" And there is no greater joy for them than our successes, our material prosperity. They take on their shoulders the burden of household chores, retiring, almost taking over the whole house. Nyanchot grandchildren, even at night they get up: let her daughter sleep, she has a working day tomorrow."Let the young work, let them continue to study, let them go to rest on the resort - it's more important for them. And we, the old people, need a lot? "- the usual philosophy. But are we entitled to accept this? Here, perhaps, not only selflessness, but also a kind of self-defense: do not demand much - you will not suffer from the small.
In fact, the elderly need much more than we need. Health surrenders, often began to boil. Appeared suddenly unexplained mood swings, much hurt. What can you do - age. And peace is needed, and rest, and attention. Hence, they first need their own room and home, so as not to worry that someone is hindered, so that they can lie down when they want.
And then each in a long life overgrown with things that are expensive. It's easy for young people to change everything in the house, rebuild, renovate, hurry for fashion. The elderly appreciate what they are used to. In this rather not old-fashioned tastes - a special wisdom. Things that have adapted to make life easier. But you have to hear: "I can not throw stuff out of the house. How stubborn are the old people! I say, we'll buy you new furniture. No, he holds on to his trunk. People are ashamed before people."It's a shame to have things in the house that do not correspond to the current ideas about" decent "life, and not respect the world of a loved one for some reason is not ashamed. .."
Often you hear: "How they spoil their grandchildren! We were not allowed to do anything, and they were spoiled, just a little - they stood up for protection. Lawyers! "Is it bad when a little person has a defender? Does not he help to understand objectively the misdemeanor, to approach the guilty not only with a measure of severity, but also with a measure of kindness? Of course, on one condition: children should not be present at the discussions.
The parents' love and love of grandparents are somewhat different in nature. They dissolve in grandchildren, they are reckless. But how much gives them reckless kindness combined with parental insistence!
Someone here probably will notice: it is not easy to live with all the old people, it happens that. .. Sometimes. People are all different at any age. And not all, of course, endure from the past years kindness, wisdom, some - grumbling, resentment. From any little thing can grow a conflict. And with a good character, old age is not a joy. The grandmother can tell several times the same thing, several times about the same question. And we are irritated, accustomed to seeing in the parents a support, to count on their understanding and tolerance. But now we are stronger - have changed places with them and should be more tolerant. The family has changed. Adult children do not live any more under the dictation of their father or mother. It is right. But how good it is in the house, when the elders remain in the house, when they are surrounded by special care, respect. They are not forgotten to consult. They are aware of all the affairs of children and grandchildren, and from this their life does not lose its former meaning and completeness. They know what and why they care about young people, they treat their tastes with understanding. From them you will not hear grumbling: "Here we are, in the days of our youth. .." They are still young now. Is not the best payment of debts - such a family relationship?
The words "venerable"( venerable age), "reverence" - from one root. By sensitiveness and attention to the elderly, we and ourselves provide a calm old age. Let's think:
Is not too much of my grandmother's domestic business? Do not we take her worries for granted? Do not forget about the "thank you"?Do we go down to the remarks: "I told you, it's not done! How many times to repeat? "If I could see myself at this moment from the side. ..
It is known, the old people like to remember - a natural need. But do we listen to them? Are we able to hear? Do not break off in midterm? But it is interesting to know everything about the relatives, about the pedigree, where we "went from there".
How do we buy our old people gifts? Something simpler, impractical? But, maybe, the grandmother is more than traditional house slippers, will be pleased with a beautiful silk blouse? Hide, not put on? Unknown. But it will not fail to boast to all: "Just look what they gave me! It's like I'm young. .. ยป
Do you often please your elderly parents with letters if they do not live with you? In the family it is believed that the grandfather loves going to the doctor. But have you bothered to talk at least once with a doctor, whom he constantly visits? Do you try to raise respect for the elderly in children? Do you remind your son or daughter that a lonely old woman lives next door and it would be nice if you go to the store and look to her, ask her if she should buy something?