Your boss: who is he?
Hidden Terminator
This plasticine woman( or man) never raises a voice. She clearly sympathizes with you. It is necessary to open your mouth - according to nods in return. But the clay, from which it seems to be made, is actually the liquid metal of the Terminator. Wiping her eyes, you will notice that she talks with you about life with only one purpose - to throw another couple of working hours. And she puts it so that you are almost grateful for her. She makes this operation perfect. Waking up from the labors of the righteous, you go to look into the eyes of the Terminator and say: "How so?" But from the eyes of the Terminator, the nymph will come up, nodding. This will split your consciousness. If there is an ideally authoritarian style of leadership, then this is it.
What to do with it: Hint that you are working in some other two places. Demonstrate knowledge of labor legislation. Do not drink tea and coffee with her and do not talk in the smoking room. Communicate strictly in the case.
Your role is a lawyer with the motto: "Strict observance of laws is the highest virtue of power".
Brother
At work, you can meet the older "brother" - even if one you already have. The new "five-legged": three legs at the chair on which he sits, two - in boots - he keeps on the table. Surrounded by cigarette butts. The only thing that is not running in the office of the "brother" is his fashion suit. He says he's graduated from Harvard. What is not excluded. Everyone who sees for the first time, says "you".Manages famously: enthusiastically, admiring himself, waving his hands - it seems that in his childhood he dreamed of being a conductor. He really only sees those who need him( which, in principle, should not surprise you).Outraged by the stupidity of subordinates beautifully, without sinking to scream. He always plans to "expand", in connection with which he promises to raise his salary - everyone. And, strangely enough, often fulfills its promises. But even more often it is ruined - the player, you can not help it!
What to do with it: "brother" will say "you" on the fly and send for cigarettes. What should be answered: "I do not smoke."And henceforth tactfully, but firmly refrain from socially useful affairs, which the "brother" happily hangs at all in a row( to run for pizza, to find a tailspin. ..).Unsuccessful witticisms of the boss miss the ears, but for good jokes react - then the "brother" will understand that you are not deprived of a sense of humor. And, maybe, even appoint you "younger sister".
Your role: the champion of the Judo Olympics in the weight category up to 45 kg. You have a child's voice, a toothless smile, a gentle soul and a quick reaction to the bandwagon.
Friend
He helps you in all things unobtrusively. But do not panic - he did not look at you! That's his nature. He is married, has a bald head, three children and a height meter with a cap. Nervous, fussy type. Be ready for the hands-on: your boss sprinter is overwhelmed with immediate tasks and planning work is not engaged.
What to do with it: be friends, but without fanaticism - otherwise the old-timers will turn their backs on you, and worse than that nothing happens. On the "you" do not go, even if he starts "poking" the first. Demonstrate that you know your place and do not understand at all that there can be some other.
Your role is the royal dwarf: "Yes, sir. No, Sire. Can I ask, sire? "
Kind uncle
He worries about the need for a sick employee. Medicines? Money? Passing by in the car, he will always bring a deputy and a cleaning woman. All employees know in person. He tries to delve into all the cases, and sometimes it wedges, and he begins to duplicate the functions of subordinates. It seems that he does not trust you. But you should not be sad about this. Usually he is more concerned with current affairs than with the prospects of the company's development.
What to do with it: quietly to him to rejoice. If you want to live in a calm present, do not seek to make a career and earn a lot of money - then the "uncle" is your ideal boss. Let the revolution break out and the entire economy will be bent - the money promised under the agreement, it shoots from the partisans. But do not dream about more.
Your role: the yogi meditating. The past is yok, the future is yok, the present is samsara, nirvana, celestial moths.
Colleague of
This type can meet in a small team with a two-tiered structure of "boss-managers"( not including secretaries).So look, for example, personnel agencies, where a dozen employees are run by one boss. A kind of flowerbed company: beautiful, quiet, boring. To establish an excellent psychological microclimate for the boss allows for the absence of headaches like the problems of the president of Uralmash about how to quickly distribute a million trucks per million Russian square kilometers. He is one of you, a colleague, whose desire to buy the eighth printer for some reason does not want to argue. And I just want to work out my time and go to sleep.
What to do with it: wake up and sing. To drink coffee, listen to rock in headphones, sit on needles. But to do it imperceptibly - otherwise they will not understand and dismiss. If you do not do this, you will be fired for snoring.
Your role: a kaleidoscope. Outside - a normal tube. Inside, colorful pictures move. A thing in itself, which is never boring.
The aesthetics of
Not only is the boss a matyugalnik, he is also a dictator-tyrant, a prototype of the proverb: "You're the boss - I'm a fool, I'm the boss - you're a fool."Feel yourself in the ranks! It will not be boring, it's fun too. Directly and severely affecting the subordinates, he keeps the distance of a huge size and does not miss the opportunity to warn workers against the desire "to climb ahead of the father in the heat."Commanding people, gradually has a telepathic effect on their behavior in general - that is, everything starts to happen, including pots of flowers. In such a company somewhere on the wall hangs a road restrictive sign with a word of three letters inside and a signature below: "It's not materyatsya."But the sign does not work anymore.
What to do with it: do not swear. Then you will be inspired by the fact that you do not obey everything. This aspect will facilitate your life of the Negro from the plantation. After all, if the boss's order is not executed on time, excuses will not help. Even the most truthful and tragic: an explosion in the metro, a parrot flying out the window, falling on your head from a window of warm porridge.
Your role: secret agent. The service is both dangerous and difficult, but there are quiet pleasures - when you come home, you will read the letter from the former class teacher in the correct Russian language with special pleasure.
The wolf girl
Actually supervises that department where there is a weak-willed chief who often occupies this post only because of his loud name and can not manage himself. As a person with a fine upbringing and delicate taste, he is for world peace and the prosperity of the arts, so he usually asks the "girl" to replace him. The "girl"( post-Balzac age) obediently obeys. She lives with her mother, as an option - with her mother and child. He often predicts an imminent death and demands in a weeping voice that a chair be brought to her. She has many high-ranking friends, which she often refers to as her own merit. Consists of some merits. You will not fall in love, no! I am convinced in advance that you are stupid, because "young yet."The commission gives away the honeyed voice, but only in the imperative mood. If he accidentally praises, then he will stop and bite.
What to do with it: do not try to please her, pretending to be a blue stocking - all the same she will equate the necessity of your presence in the office to zero. After the "girl" tries to roast you three times at the stake of offensive criticism, and you do not cry in cold blood, she will cease to consider you a two-legged misunderstanding and will listen. Generate brilliant ideas and laconically, with a confident voice, set them out. Listening to it, do not interrupt, because usually it only seems that it is rounded off. She must declare herself that it's your turn to sound.
Your role: the immortal bird Phoenix, which is reborn from its own ashes.
Head of the
Starosta is a contemporary. She is the same age as you, or even less. In any case, the concept of "boss" disappears - what hierarchical ladder can there be if the so-called bosses are tormented by the same age experiences? Therefore, she prefers not to command, but to ask, offer or advise. It seems that the only thing that differs from other employees is that it controls the issuance of a "scholarship", that is, wages. Such a democracy( like any form of government) has its costs: if the collective becomes impudent, then the boss becomes fierce.
What to do with it: nothing. Throw away the thought that "this little thing" already divides and dominates, not particularly zealous. Envy generally unproductive feeling and badly affects the complexion. If the "starosta" is modern and efficient, then you can make friends with her. Such guidance will be close to ideal, since business-based friendship is better than a business based on friendship( Rockefeller's thought).
Your role: your own or your good friend.
The waitress
Sits in something like her office. She is a nominal person, so to speak, representative. Merciful to subordinate ladies. Periodically extinguishes the anger of managers who want to fire someone for slowness( disrespect, unsmiling, uncleanliness).From time to time she herself makes out cries of indignation - apparently, because she is accustomed to work under the noise of utensils, when there is generally a bad audibility. Late executes only a cry, but the manager does not complain. He needs much more respect for himself than he feels. What is unreal and what constitutes its internal, so to speak, conflict.
Your role: noise isolator. In general, if you shift her words to a lower frequency, their primary meaning becomes apparent. If this does not help and still makes you nervous, imagine that these are not easy sounds of heavy metal.
Instructor of
For lack of their "learn" instructs the spoiled. That is labor collective. At home, apparently, has an analogue of the school magazine, since, waking up, usually calls to work and asks who was late. After appearing on the post, he lectures-notations and excerpts from his shock work biography. It is boring, but not necessary. It seems to talk with itself! The cry does not load, but it takes out a word. True, tolerable. The case when the boss only seems to be managing successfully. Usually such a post is able to occupy to a very old age: the activity that the pensioner imitates depends not so much, the main thing is that he does not harm. Gradually, it's just too lazy to "re-elect" - a person took root, does not bother anyone. Well, let him sit. Some kind of elderly school teachers have a similar appearance.
What to do with it: if in the morning on the phone you are always ready to answer that no one is late, you will learn how to simulate the voices of colleagues in advance, as she usually calls someone to the tube. More often than those who have not yet opened their eyes. A year of such exercises will provide you with new professional perspectives: you can successfully deal with parody or dubbing.
Your role: the Yankees at the court of King Arthur - a man who got involved in the history of the Middle Ages and managed to settle comfortably in it.