How to survive betrayal? The reason for the betrayal of a loved one. All-secrets.
However, to keep your pain in yourself is also not recommended. So it is not far from the heart attack, especially if you are a person that is too impressionable and nervous. You can cry( only alone, let the half that has changed you does not see your suffering), turn to the help of a therapist, relieve negative energy in the gym or in the process of some creativity( you know how many pictures of famous artists appeared in the heart of moments of heartfelt experiences?)In a word, try to use the situation for the good, how strange it would not sound. Yes, it is much harder than going to get drunk or "seize" the grief with two kilograms of ice cream. But it is in your best interests to direct your negative emotions in the right direction.
Step two. Understand the situation
So, have taken themselves into hand, now we begin to answer the question "Why did he change me( she)?" Many people stop on the variant "I myself( a) are to blame for this".Well, if this answer suits you - you can not read the article further. Tear your hair, think about how bad and terrible you are, if you bring your loved one to betrayal, forget that you can survive betrayal and go into a terrible depression, earning yourself an inferiority complex( however, you probably already have it,if you have decided that the cause of treason is in you).
No, of course, there are cases, and not rare, when the cause of infidelity, in fact, is a bad attitude from the beloved( beloved).But, as a rule, such people most often just do not admit their guilt, and are unlikely to rush to seek an answer to the question posed on the Internet. So - we go further.
And then, of course, the other side of the coin becomes obvious: "It's all his fault( s)".Well, here are the options. If he is a fan of female beauty( or she, in turn, melts at the sight of "trousers"), then there is nothing to be done about it. Usually treason of this kind is received "as a gift" in the first months of meetings. It is unlikely that such a polygamous person can be remade. He will understand what is hurting you, but continue to change periodically.
Another option is "random" cheating."I drank, my mind became clouded, I do not remember how I was with her in bed," is the standard scheme of such treason. It can be true, and can be used as an excuse. To believe or not this excuse is your business. You can be a detective and find out if it was really so. One can believe on the word and, reluctantly, to experience treason without understanding its details. You can check the veracity of words with the help of a lie detector. In general, there are many options, choose one that is more convenient for you.
A third option, perhaps the most vulnerable, is also common."Forgive me, I fell in love with another," your girl says, looking at you with tear-filled eyes. It is especially painful to perceive such phrases when the years of living together, and even the children in addition, are over.
There are other reasons for treason, less common, but also having the right to exist. I wanted to experience new sensations, to diversify my sex life( my wife was already fed up in bed), she was tempted by the employee( she could not resist!) - this is just a small list of such "reasons"( in most cases they are elementary excuses).
Step Three. Act
To drive away the grief-spouse( y) from home, take revenge or forgive - your personal business. However, we can give some general advice on how to survive betrayal.
If you have made sure that your lover is a normal womanizer( or lover is a sexually windy person), you better stop your relationship with him. Do not hurt yourself and do not cherish the idea that your love is so strong that it can change human nature. In most cases - not capable.
If you are sure that the betrayal of your second half is a mistake in which he( she) is terribly sorry, then there are possible options. There are people who, in principle, can not forgive infidelity, whatever it is caused. Well, you can not - do not forgive! And do not listen to the allegation that all men are polygamous males, and every woman is ready to go to bed for money. Orienting to such examples, you will not be happy in your personal life!
If you decide that your second half deserves forgiveness, then a certain tactic of action is also needed. Do not forgive immediately( even if the soul has already mercy on the traitor), give him time to suffer and realize that he made a terrible mistake. In the end, you have experienced very unpleasant feelings when you learn of treason, is it sensible to say right away: "Well, for the first time, I forgive you"?Most likely, the trader will be glad that he got off so easily and will think more, what's good, that you can continue to act in a similar spirit.
If you decide to forgive him( her), then do not get rid only of the phrase that you have mercy and forgive treason. To survive betrayal and all the unpleasant moments associated with it, you must together, not one by one. Talk to your other half. Discuss the problems that exist in your relationship and which, perhaps directly or indirectly, caused the betrayal. Make it clear that the second time there will be no forgiveness. Show that you are in pain, but at the same time, do not intend to tolerate such an attitude in the future.
In a situation where a loved one( loved one) loved( a) another person, it is better to let him( her) go. Do not seek to retain your second half, especially refrain from all sorts of "dishonest game": blackmail, reproaches such as "children will be left without a father", "adjusted" pregnancy, intimidation of the object of love of your loved one( beloved).
If the desire to keep him( her) so much, it is, first of all, worth paying close attention to yourself. What is wrong with you? What made him( her) pay attention to another( another), to seek new sensations? Than you are worse than a new object of sympathy? Perhaps, this love is a temporary "eclipse", and you still have a chance to regain former relationships.
In any case, no matter what the reason for the betrayal and how you would not decide to act against the traitor, do not forget about self-esteem and try not to cause your own pains with your decisions.
The fact of betrayal confounds many people, causing mixed emotions. Anger, shock, hatred, shock, disappointment, bewilderment - this is only a small list of those feelings that the beloved person suffers from betrayal. Several thoughts start to swarm in my head at once: "Why?", "For what?", "What should I do with this?", "How to survive the betrayal?" What to do in case of betrayal to the unfortunate lover?
Step one. Cope with the emotions of
In most cases it seems that life is over, the world is terrible and unfair, your meeting with your beloved was a mistake, and the first desire is usually to make a scandal with beating utensils, get drunk, kick out the sorrow-loved one( loved one) fromat home or start changing yourself. It will be better if such emotions you can as soon as possible to curb and pull yourself together. Destructive actions in the matter of how to survive betrayal, absolutely to nothing.