A healthy spirit of competition in children
I once got to talking with one mom about what and how our children eat. I confessed that my people are ready to eat only cookies and rolls if they were in the house( for this reason we never had them in our house)."Oh, and I was lucky!- responded my interlocutor."In any case, mine would prefer fresh fruits and vegetables."But somehow, after seeing how her children are biting into the cookies that they were given as a special treat, I began to doubt the truthfulness of their mother's statement. But now I'm talking about this in order to show you an example of a typical competitive phrase, aimed solely at "omitting" me and my children, and, accordingly, elevating her and her children.
One of the classic competitive events in the parents is planting the baby on the pot. I knew those who started to do this when the child was only a few months old, only to keep up with other parents with children, and better to get ahead of them. Others go crazy about the ability to get up and walk. When children grow up, there are new fields - sports, music, school performance. And the most insincere of such parents - "Olympians", chasing children's records, pretend as if they have no thoughts in their thoughts. But everyone understands that when they say to you: "I'm lucky, my children in any case prefer fresh fruits and vegetables" - it is not at all supposed that you will seriously believe in this very "luck" for a second.
Right parents do not get involved in such games. They are confident enough about their own talents - and are quite calm about their own shortcomings - in order not to rush things, not to mock the mother-nature and not to demand from their children exceptionally record achievements. It is easy to guess that the parents-"Olympians" firstly, there are practically no real friends( with children), and secondly, their children from infancy are used to believe that if they are not the most-most, the parents will not beit is good for him to be treated. Gradually these same unfortunate children grow up exactly the same, developed in the image and likeness of their parents, adults who are obsessed with competition, unable to support neither friendly nor family relations. A healthy spirit of competition can be raised in a child, and without bending the stick.
Parents who demand from children constant victories and records, in fact, are simply so tormented by their insecurity and their capabilities that they are not able to assert themselves otherwise than by directly belittling others. What to do with such people? Only regret - it really takes them out of themselves.