Peace in the family

Divorce seems to be the most common( at least in Western society) crisis situation in the family, from which children inevitably suffer. It is easiest to treat divorce as a problem for two who were together, but no longer want to. Yes, of course, children should also be considered, but it is possible that in your view they are somewhere on the periphery of the "zone of defeat."

However, it is more appropriate to treat divorce as an event that applies equally to all family members, including children. Although they are not involved in decision-making, they are as directly related to what is happening as you are. Moreover, parents usually decide on divorce, despite the fact that this is a very difficult event for all, if only because it is still better than the continuation of life together. However, for children in divorce, there can be nothing positive at all. They often perceive the divorce of parents as the worst thing that can happen in life.

Therefore, it is very important to try to make your divorce as less as possible traumatic for children who turn out to be helpless in the field of your conflict. The best thing you can do here is to find the most compromises with your partner. Discussing the division of property, the fate of your home and, of course, the children themselves, make every effort to reach an agreement. Even if you understand that not everything in it is fair.

It is possible that you have every reason to leave your former without a penny, fight with him for any trifle, transfer to him all the costs of housing, demand a greater amount of alimony. .. but in fact, none of this is as important asthe adoption of a compromise solution that will allow your children to start rebuilding their lives as soon as possible in the changed conditions.

This can be very difficult, especially if you feel - of course, quite justifiably - that your ex-boyfriend treated you undesirably is bad and wants to grab more from you. I understand that the desire to establish justice and the desire to avenge all suffering are very sweet feelings, but what is more important to you: their satisfaction or the well-being of children? Of course, the last! This is one of the signs by which the truly right parents are recognized: they always, before something is done or said, they think about how this will affect the children. And if you have doubts that for them your decision will be optimal, do not rush to it.

I UNDERSTAND THAT THE DESIRE FOR THE ESTABLISHMENT OF JUSTICE