Eighteen-year-old children

You had eighteen years to bring your children to where you wanted them to be. I'm not talking about the profession of a lawyer, a doctor, a football player, or somebody else. I mean that in these eighteen years you had to supply the children with everything necessary to enable them to live happily ever after.

Well, eighteen years behind, time's up. And it's time for you to step aside. If you do not have time to teach them something so far, it is now too late. From now on, they must deal with everything solely themselves, without your intervention. Yes, it will not be easy for you to observe how they are doing wrong, in your opinion, actions, but it was necessary to think before. Do not twitch, your time is up.

There is only one left, which you can now teach grown-up children: stand on your own, without your support. And you can teach this only in one way - by stepping aside. All eighteen years of education will be destroyed if you do not give the child now the opportunity to apply everything learned from you in practice. Otherwise, why did you teach him to be independent, think with your own head, make decisions and everything else?

And you know what? If you are at least half so right parents, as far as I can see, your children will do just fine when you leave them alone. And if you do not stop interfering, they will regard it as a recognition that you have missed something in your upbringing, and they can not live on their own.

For sure you yourself know what can lead to the intervention of parents in the life of adult children. At best, it looks like condescending patronage, and at worst - like suppression. In this case, the relationship with the grown up children on an equal footing will not work. Each time, by interfering with their personal life, you will let them know that they are not capable of taking care of themselves. In addition to the fact that this can not have a positive effect on their self-esteem, this is most likely just not true. Maybe they do not get too much to live the life that you would like for them, but if you are the right parents, this should not worry you.

Of course, a person does not stop studying until he reaches the age of eighteen. I believe that your children still have a lot ahead( and maybe you too).Otherwise, life would be too boring. But at the next stage they must find other teachers, and choose where, what, how and with whom to learn.

Your role becomes exclusively auxiliary and secondarily. Ideally, you must hold on so that your presence and influence of children stop noticing at all. Standing aside is now your main function. I have no doubt that you understood me. So I, perhaps, will retire.