The similarity of parents and children

Perhaps your children remind you of you literally in everything, and it turns out, on the contrary, it's hard not to forget that they do not necessarily think just like you.

But there are completely different children. You look at them and do not understand how they can be yours. Between you as if there is nothing in common, and you can not imagine what is happening in their head. They, their behavior for you - a constant mystery and a real curse. How can a person come to mind sobbing in a situation where you would just begin to wrangle? How can you play with caterpillars and spiders if you are disgusted about them even thinking about?

Naturally, there is no reason not to love and not admire these children in the same way as others. But sometimes, when dealing with such a child, you can feel like an outsider, it's hard for you to feel an emotional connection with him, because his reactions seem completely illogical to you. If the child catches it, alienation may arise between you. It is possible that your partner will more often solve the problems of this child, because it will be better understood by him, but this will only deepen the gap between you.

And now listen. I know what I'm talking about, I've been in this skin myself. In any case, fifty percent of the genes in this child are yours, and there must necessarily be something that will be familiar and familiar to you in it. And you need to find it, because otherwise the child can find the lack of understanding by the lack of love. This is especially true if the child is not alone;then he will unknowingly feel that his brothers or sisters are closer to you than he is. It is especially difficult if this child is not of one sex with you.

As far as all this is important, anyone who brings up foster children will tell you. Many adoptive parents consider the search for a common one of the most important tasks. But with your own children it can be just as difficult, and in this case you should make the same effort to this.

So search until you get it. Of course, children change, and sometimes a child who was completely incomprehensible with you becomes more like you with age. But do not count on it. Look for common interests, books that you like both;ask your parents - maybe they are more visible from the outside, what is the similarity between you. Be sure to make time to be with such a "complex" child together. It is possible that even if you are completely different people, you still like the same things.

If you behave this way, the child will surely feel that they love him no less than others, and this is the main thing. And an additional advantage is that it is from the children who are the most different from us that we can learn a lot.