The right of children to express their feelings

Probably, it seems to you that it is much easier to live if your children behave calmly - without any quarrels, tears and flashes. Yes, of course, it's much easier. But for children all the time behaving so not too useful. They have strong emotions, and they need to somehow express them. If the child is angry, he should have the opportunity to say so. Your task is to teach them not to hide their feelings, but to express them in an acceptable way.

I knew such families where children were forbidden to express their displeasure in any form. This is not true - the child should have the right to express his feelings, but do it without aggression and provocation. Nevertheless, if the child is angry, he should justify his anger, but to know that if his feeling is really justified, no one will forbid him to voice it. You should say something like this in the same situation: "I understand why you are unhappy, but still it's not good to call your sister like that."

A child who can not express his feelings, can not and get rid of them - it can not be easy for an adult. A child who is banned from this keeps more and more negative emotions in himself, which can lead not only to emotional, but even to physiological problems. And worse, from these children adults grow up later, who do not know how to say what they feel, which is very harmful to any relationship, especially close ones.

If a person has grown up in an absolutely "even" atmosphere, without a single obvious quarrel, he may never learn to understand that even if people quarrel, this does not mean a break in relations, that even after a quarrel they can continue to live with each other perfectly normal. Such people are afraid to argue with their partner, because they seriously believe that after quarreling, they can part forever. And such relations lead only to the fact that all problems remain unresolved, discontent accumulates, feelings are locked inside, and all this, as we well know, is completely unhealthy.

I remember that while we are in the section on discipline, however, since we started talking about expressing emotions, I want to mention how important it is for a child to be able to cry. And for an adult, by the way, too. Few parents specifically teach children to cry;much more often you can hear: "Well, do not behave like a little one!" or "Well, what are you crying, it's not so terrible!" In this case, the child soon realizes that there is something bad, wrong in crying, andcry, therefore, it is impossible. However very soon, at school, the child will necessarily learn not to cry when there really is no need or when it really is not too decent, so you do not need to worry about it in advance. Personally, many years ago, fortunately, I learned that if someone cries at you, you should not say "Stop shedding tears," but "Well, cry, cry. It will become easier. "