Memory in children
Jun 27, 2018
I often have to deal with a strange point of view, according to which children forget about everything faster and experience less than adults. I do not know who invented this, but I can tell you for sure that this is complete nonsense.
Yes, of course, some children experience some events more easily than some adults. But it is equally true that children are more often victims of secondary psychological trauma after a long time after some dramatic event in their life. Childhood and adolescence - the process of continuous development, so that the past of the child can repeatedly rethink and overestimate them. So, for example, a child who has relatively calmly suffered a loss of someone close at an early age can experience the deepest sorrow in a few years because of this. The words you heard from you five lay down, may well still pursue your son or daughter. After the divorce of parents, children often continue to hope that everything will someday become like before, and every event that reduces the chances of this happens to be a source of suffering.
And we are imperfect, but nevertheless we, in comparison with children, have a serious advantage - life experience. He allows us, in most cases, once and finally to endure a difficult situation and no longer have to return to it. Yes, an adult can keep the pain of losing or regretting the loss for many years, until his death, but after his life returns to normal, the past ceases to exert a clear influence on him. Children are much more difficult. Growing up, they can repeatedly return to the past and relive some events, experiencing new emotions each time. Even if the initial shock reaction is faster in a child than in an adult( and this is not always the case), later, without the necessary experience, he can spend significantly more time understanding his own feelings and understanding how to live inchanged circumstances.
So do not believe it, if you are told again that children are easier and faster to tolerate. The right parents are aware that this is not so, and they do not listen to such unreasonable statements.
In such a situation, children need your help and support. If, for example, you suddenly lost a considerable fortune, and with it - the appropriate standard of living, this can have a very profound impact on your children. They lose their position in the children's team, because they can no longer be equaled with comrades in many material places: where they spend their holidays, what they do besides the school, how they use the mobile phone, on what car parents come for them, etc. For some children this- a real tragedy. It's you who are trying to plan a very tightened family budget in a new way, looking for what you can save and what to refuse, and the child loses some of his friends, self-confidence, peer group status, dignity and holidays. It takes time to adjust to this, even if the family eventually returns to the previous level of well-being.