Duties of children
Jun 25, 2018
One of the most important life principles that your children should assimilate is that the rights and duties of are inextricably linked. And you must teach them this. Yes, yes, it concerns just your duties.
For example, your child may be required to be treated like an adult. But at the same time he must understand that such a right is given only together with the corresponding duties. If he wants a relationship to himself, as an adult, then he must and behave like an adult. If he neglects this duty, he will be deprived of his rights.
This rule is very important if your children are already grown to adolescence. In response to each claim of certain rights on their part, you must remind them of their responsibilities. Some of my friends distribute this rule even for the issuance of pocket money. Their children are entitled to a certain amount a week, but parents explain to them that they have duties in the house. This means that children should take part in common household chores - cleaning, etc., otherwise they will not see any pocket money.
The same is true with regard to the requirement of self-respect. If a teenager wants to be treated with respect, he should respect others. If your children can openly snap at you, they do not deserve the right to your respect. You can just stop listening to them( or at least pretend that you do not hear anything) until they begin to communicate with you in a different way.
When entering adulthood, a person should know such things. You can not expect anything from the world in return for anything. And adolescence is the most appropriate time to assimilate the connection between rights and responsibilities. All that the child wants is to be connected with certain limitations and a certain responsibility: respect, money, independence, freedom, status. Yes, the responsibility itself comes with responsibility.
ADOLESCENT AGE IS THE MOST APPROPRIATE TIME FOR CONNECTION BETWEEN RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS.
And in fact, the children even like it. This gives them to understand that they are not indifferent to you. When you tell your child not to let him go somewhere in the evening, unless he takes responsibility to tell you where he is and when he returns, he will secretly be glad that you care about him. Of course, he will not tell you this. But still he will tell you when he intends to return home, because he will understand that otherwise he will be deprived of the right to come late.
Remind the children of their responsibilities
I recently read an interesting article about research on whining and "sawing"( I wonder if scientists have long been harassed by requests to conduct this study?) It turned out that it is easier for a person to be persuaded of something by avoiding the boring repetition of oneand the same, as they say, do not "drip on his brains."
But how to make something do the children, if not this method? The main negative feature of parental tediousness is that it is almost always colored in an irritable tone. But this is not the worst thing. Of course, this can not be with the right parents, but at other times it happens that claims to activity turn into claims to the child proper. Example: "You did not close the door" - this is a reasonable claim, and "You never close the door!" - this is already "sawing" in the worst sense. It's bad if the character of the child is touched: "You never think about anyone" or "You're just stretching!" If you act with your children like that, you will only worsen the situation. And the children here will not be to blame for anything;Only you!
There is no point in using such an irritated tone and personal attacks. All that you need to do in order for the child to fulfill your demand is to ask him clearly and clearly and at the same time to make it clear what the disobedience threatens. For example: "Please, do the lessons! If you do not finish by six o'clock, I'll shut down the computer and not let you use it until you complete all the tasks! "After that, until six o'clock you do not say anything to the child about this, but if he did not fulfill your requirements, you will notany further arguments just turn off the computer, as promised. If this approach becomes familiar to you, then the children will quickly understand that you are not joking.
Once I was invited to dine in one house. We were going to sit down at the kitchen table, but it was all covered up with children's toys, drawings, sweets, details from Lego, playing cards and other various garbage. I suggested( slightly nervous) to get out."No no! Protested my mistress.- Do not. Children will clean everything up. "I sincerely did not believe that she could get the children to be removed from the table before the dinner was ready, especially since they were not visible. However, she looked out of the kitchen and cheerfully shouted: "Everything that will still be lying on the kitchen table in ten minutes will be in the trash!" The children immediately appeared from nowhere, and in five minutes the table was ready for a meal. It was quite obvious that they were accustomed to such a thing, and that in the past they happened to be convinced that the mother was not joking. No sawing and a hundredfold repetition of the same thing: she said she had to do it only once, and warned what would happen if they did not listen to her.
IN USE OF IRRITATIVE TONE AND PERSONAL ATTACKS, THERE IS NO SENSE.