Child labor

A child going to school will want to receive certain grades there. At the exams and current, for the sake of prestige or for the sake of the real benefit in the learning process - he will have to( and maybe will) somehow manage.

And the children know this. They are constantly told about this by the teacher. And friends. And they themselves. And they absolutely do not need them to remind you of this again and again. Too much pressure can have the opposite effect and cause real psychological harm to the child.

You should consider how the exams affect your child. It is possible that he is already experiencing too much pressure without your participation. So you better not press on it even more, but on the contrary - slightly lift this burden, expand the angle of view. As a child, it is difficult to look into the future outside the school, and it is you who must convince the child that there are still many important things in life. And that even those who failed in the examinations, have all the chances to be happy too. Yes, of course, if he successfully passes the exams, it will be fine too, but if not, the world will not fall apart. If the poor child is already straining too much, you should find the right words to reduce pressure and somehow help increase the chances of success. And if for this you need to assure the child that everything will be fine, whatever the result, it means that this is your role.

But, for example, it seems to you that the child, on the contrary, does not exert himself too much, that he does not take everything seriously enough, and does not see any real prospects in a different sense. Then you need to explain to him the meaning of a good study, not resting on the fact that you need to work harder and without questioning the opportunity to watch TV or go out with friends. It's best to ask the question: "What do you think you can get in the exam?" Or: "Did you ever think what would happen if you did not hand over it?"

But in the end the child must decide for himself how hard he needs to work. You can not force him, even if you lock in a room with textbooks. So instead of putting extra pressure on him, give him a better chance to get rid of an excessive burden. When a child sees that you are not going to force him to learn, he is more likely to learn self-discipline.

BUT IN THE FINAL RESULT, THE CHILDREN MUST HAVE TO SOLVE HOW MUCH AS IT IS NEEDED TO WORK.

They will have to live with the consequences of their choice( and this is normal)

At the age of 16 I decided that I want to work in the forestry commission. I was taken, and I was about to undergo training, when suddenly announced that I really wanted to enter the art school. Unexpected turn. My mother must have something to say about this, but she delightfully left her opinion to herself, and aloud supported me. I still do not know what she really wanted for me herself( if she had specific desires).

Most likely, you have some opinion about the decisions of your children. You worry that they will choose a very difficult specialty for themselves, or you are sorry that one of them is throwing up Spanish, or you know that your son wants to go to the physics department solely because he liked the school teacher on this subject. But there's nothing you can do about it. You can only help( carefully, without exerting pressure and not voicing your thoughts) to make the best choice, and then you just have to support it, even if in your opinion it is not the best.

Ask yourself: Well, what happens if the child chooses not what he had to choose from your point of view? And for whom, in your opinion, should he make this choice - for you or for himself? I understand that no right parent will consciously push the child into a path that he did not choose for himself, but it's so easy to give in to illusions that you know best! But even if it seems to you that you want to make a child do what is actually better for him( and he just does not understand it yet), you are still wrong.

I will not tire of repeating that your role as a parent is much larger than the role of the school. You teach children not just chemistry, music or the mother tongue, you teach them vital skills. Including decision-making. If you do not allow them to do this, then you will not really help them.

It just so happened that I did not get a forest ranger or an artist. Before I finally calmed down and became a writer, I tried many different activities. A friend of mine in my school years could not choose which language to study - Latin or Russian, and eventually manages a recruiting agency. Another friend thought for a long time, to the philosophical or the sociology department, she acted. Now she is engaged in charitable environmental activities. Two well-known diploma chemists have succeeded: one in banking, the other in clown art( honestly, I do not invent it!) I even know one man who is now 72 and left school at the age of fifteen to go to the customs, andafter 60 returned for a desk and received a law degree.

So, as you can see, our choice affects the course of our life, but not necessarily exactly as we expected. So let your children learn what they want. And if you provide them with self-confidence and the necessary skills for adult life, they will certainly be able to build their own happiness with any results of examinations and any education.