Provide strong rules of life
Once I saw that the neighbor's boy climbed four years into the garden fence and ran along it. Do you think this was nothing special? Alas, I had an excuse to be frightened, because on the other side to the fence there was a concreted parking lot, and the distance to the land there was not less than 15 feet. So it's no surprise that I seriously worried;However, the boy's mother, noticing the expression of horror on my face, calmly explained: "Well, yes. I told him a hundred times that he would not do it, but he does not pay attention. Then what have I done? "Then I finally lost my speech and could not think of a way to answer it( on the other hand, whatever I said, she probably would not have paid any attention to my words anyway).
Of course, you understand that you had to answer this mother: "Forbid it strictly!" This example demonstrates the need to establish strict limits for the child, in this case for his own health and life. But unfortunately, this boy constantly acted as a sad illustration of what happens to children in the absence of clear rules and restrictions on the part of their parents. For his eyes everyone called him just "a wild child", because he acted really like a real little savage, who knows no rules of conduct. He relentlessly experienced the limits of what is permissible and, apparently, every time he was convinced that they simply do not exist.
He behaved disgustingly, few could communicate with him, and probably he believed that his parents did not care about him. Otherwise would they have allowed him to run along a 15-foot wall and generally behave as he pleased?
The world for a child is a very dangerous place, and for an adult, however, too. The best security system for your children is a clear set of rules and principles that limit the relatively safe life for the child. Children, especially small ones, are constantly striving to break these boundaries, but not in order to achieve greater freedom, but, on the contrary, to make sure of their inviolability. Your task is to clearly delineate these boundaries for the child and to ensure that they remain in place. Again referring to our example, we can say that you have to say a solid "no" every time a child climbs onto the wall, and if necessary, remove it from there. With this attitude, your children will be safe and sound, as well as self-confident and happy with life;the clear limits of the permitted are for the child the most important structural basis of the world, without which he is unable to realize his place in it and the principles of its organization and functioning. And besides all this, restrictions help the child understand how you love and appreciate him.
By the way, all this applies to both parents( if you have a full family).Children will be of little use if only one parent monitors the establishment and observance of rules and boundaries. This situation can only confuse the child. The role of the "evil cop" you should divide by two. Do not be afraid if some small details turn out to be variable( for example, the father can allow children to sit on his lap when he reads a fairy tale for them at night, and my mother prefers them to go to bed at once).But in everything that concerns really important principles, you must show solidarity, if you want your children to grow up to be happy and full-fledged people.