Children are unique

Speaking in general, I do not think that this book will cause many objections. I do not strive for this - I just want to outline some basic principles, most of which remain within the framework of ordinary everyday councils, understandable to everyone, and becoming simply more accessible from the fact that I formulated them briefly and in one place. As I said at the beginning of the book - this is not a revelation, but a reminder. But I suspect that if someone wants to argue with me, he can choose this rule as an excuse.

Your children certainly differ from each other, so it is obvious that the "dimensionless" approach to all of them will not be correct. Yes, there are rules that are really common for everyone - you can call them "family": it is absolutely true that everyone without exception must go to bed when laid, or clean after eating. However, there are also rules that require a personal "fit" for each child.

I will speak directly. When I was just beginning to be a father, I thought it was unfair to change the rules for one of the children, since they are set for everyone. It seemed to me that this was unfair. But then my children began to grow up, and I realized that from some children the fulfillment of some rule requires much more effort than from others.

Here is an example. One of my sons was pathologically inaccurate. Just on an industrial scale *.And he did not know about it, because he also had the strange ability not to notice the chaos that arose around him. Asking him to take away with him was not the same thing as asking his sisters and brothers. This demand was for him twenty times heavier than for the others, because he, firstly, did not see where the disorder was;Secondly, I did not understand what the problem was in general( it did not bother him in any way);and thirdly, he would have to spend several times( or dozens of times) cleaning more times than any other child. So, in fact, it turned out that the same application of the rule to him and to other children was unfair to him.

Of course, we did not give up on him at all. But we began to demand less from him than from others. He had to put things in order, but we were ready to help him if he really was ready to do some work. As he grew older, we shifted more and more responsibility to him.

But I must say that this my son could very well concentrate on something, and, for example, he sat quietly, without being distracted for a second, for half an hour for lessons. And his brother( neat) could not stand sitting behind books for more than 10 minutes in a row, so he was allowed to do homework for all the weekends in short pieces.

In other words, it is sometimes really fair to set general rules for everyone, but sometimes on the contrary, it is just such an approach that is unfair, so you have to be careful in this regard. The most important thing is how much you need from each child.

THE MOST IMPORTANT - HOW MUCH YOU REQUIRE FROM EVERY CHILD.