Jun 23, 2018
( or the child refuses to grow)
Once the young parents of Norm and Linda came to me for advice along with their four-month-old daughter, who has high needs, Heather. This family chose a parental approach based on affection, and although it was sometimes difficult, it brought them positive results. Heather was a cheerful, fully developed girl. Then the "benevolent" acquaintances convinced Norma and Linda that they spoil Heather that their child runs their lives and manipulates their parents and that the girl will forever remain dependent.
For some reason they lost confidence in their intuitive approach to the child and succumbed to the approach imposed on them, restrained and detached. Heather was transferred to a rigid schedule, she was allowed to fall asleep herself, having burst into tears in plenty, and began to wear less on their hands. Over the next two months, Heather did not gain any weight in gram. From gay and sociable, she turned into a closed one. The sparks in her were extinguished, and she ceased to develop optimally. Heather was to undergo a full medical examination to determine the cause of insufficient weight gain. After listening to the parent story and having examined Heather, I ascertained the shutdown syndrome and explained: Heather had a high need for a strong connection with her parents. Thanks to their sensitive approach, she was an organized child and believed that her needs would be met. And it gave results. When the attachment was pulled out of the socket, she lost touch and faith. As a result, there was a kind of child depression and the functioning of its physiological systems stalled. I advised parents to return to their previous approach: to carry their daughter more, to feed them on demand, to respond sensitively to her crying day and night, and, most importantly, to adhere to the approach to the child who approached the
for them, and not for some otherparents. That's what they did, and Heather went back into growth.
Before we embark on a child development journey from birth to two years, here are a few basic principles that will help you understand and enjoy your child's individual differences.
Indicators of normal growth and weight
For each scheduled examination of the child, your doctor will mark the child's height, weight and head circumference in the table. In the most frequently used tables, each line represents a percentile, that is, shows where your child is in comparison to the other hundred children. For example, the fiftieth percentile, or average, means that half of the children are above this line, and the other half is lower. If your child is on the seventy fifth percentile, he is larger than the average. Twenty-five children are above your child, and seventy-five are below. Note that these tables are not perfect. They are compiled on the basis of the average of thousands of children. Average growth is not necessarily a normal growth. Your child has his own individual normal
growth. These tables are simply a convenient support, the purpose of which is to draw the doctor's attention to any unhealthy tendency.
Mental development indicators
Not only does your child's body grow, but also his knowledge and skills. In the tables of mental development, the average age in which children acquire the most easily identifiable skills is indicated, for example, they start to sit down or walk;these are the so-called milestones of development. The developmental chart used by pediatricians most often, the Denver Screening Development Test( DDST), shows that 505 children start walking at the age of one year, but the normal period for acquiring the ability to walk is the age from ten to fifteen months. Be prepared for the fact that your child will show uneven development in many respects. One milestone he can pass before the rest, the other later.
Progress is much more important than time
When an child learns to do this or that, it is not so important as moving towards progress through a sequence of milestones. Your child will progress from the ability to sit through pulling up to getting up and walking. He can take these heights of the motor
development at the wrong age that the neighbor's child. But they both will take them in a certain sequence. Compare your child only with himself, as he was a month ago.
Children spend at each stage of development, before moving to a higher level, at different times. Some children seem to stop at the reached level, and then climb abruptly to the next. Others can jump over one level. Do not participate in the race race with the neighbors, where the main thing, whose child will go first. Races with the overcoming of milestones as a result do not reveal either whose child is smarter, or whose parents are better.
Why children grow differently
Children not only do not resemble each other and behave differently, they also grow differently. That's what makes everyone unique. Parents become easier when they understand how diverse normal growth patterns are and how many small life barriers affect growth and development.
Body type of the child. Your child is genetically engineered to be tall and thin, small in stature and thick or in the middle. Children of the ectomorphic type( tall and thin) tend to spend more of the
calorie on growing up, rather than on breadth, so they usually exceed the average level for growth rates and fall below it in terms of weight;or they can first hang in the middle line, and eventually enter the pulling phase, soaring up the growth indicators and reducing the pace in gaining weight. Children of the mesomorphic type are stocky, dense. Usually they are on one percentile and on growth indicators, and on indicators of weight. Children of the endomorphic type( small growth, with pear-shaped body shape) have indicators completely opposite to those of children of the ectomorphic type, usually appearing at a higher percentile in terms of weight than in growth. All these variations are normal and indicate that you need to look at the child( and also on his genealogical tree), and not just in the table, and compare both.
Horseracing growth. Although the table implies that progress must occur smoothly, constantly, many children grow up differently. Many children grow in jerks and pauses, and when you mark their increases in the table, periodic growth spikes are noticeable, followed by periods in which growth is suspended. Other children during the first year show constant, unchanged increases in height and weight.
Health and nutrition. Sick children temporarily send energy instead of growth for recovery. With a prolonged catarrhal disease, your child's growth may stagnate. With diarrhea, a child may even lose weight. Expect compensatory jerks after recovery. In children receiving breastfeeding and children receiving artificial feeding, growth charts may be different, and the tables that are used today do not draw any distinctions. Some infants( those who are breastfed), especially children with high needs and often breastfeeding children, can be significantly higher than the average in the weight index and it is unfair to get the diagnosis of "overweight".Almost all of these "overweight" babies begin to lose weight naturally after about six months and until the year when the fat content of breast milk naturally decreases.
Both children receiving breastfeeding and children who are breastfed, whose weight gain in the first six months are recorded in the upper half of the table, naturally begin to lose weight in the period from six months to a year, as theirever-increasing motor
skills help these angels burn their charming roundness.