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  • Even with all complications in married life, married men live longer than bachelors.

    This is symptomatic.

    And if we take no less symptomatic phenomenon - suicide? It means suicide completed, not pretentious. People who live outside of marriage or who are in the process of divorce are more likely to end their lives. But we will not talk here about the sad. About suicide, we'll talk in another place.

    In marriage, it is in marriage and, in fact, only in marriage, mutual empathy is possible. I define empathy this way: it is a feeling of the other person's psyche with sympathy and empathy. Let's select the concept of negative empathy. This is also a feeling in the psyche of another person, but with the goal of his psychologists

    of physical and material exploitation. For us it is important that empathy, plus empathy, desired for us, in marriage manifests more expression. I grieve for your grief, I am happy with your happiness. Moreover, I do everything to make you have more joys, but less sorrows. Thin psychologist Vadim Arturovich Petrovsky calls this an effective group emotional identification. He, I must say, is a doctor of psychological sciences, a professor, a member of the Corresponding Member of the Russian Academy of Education. But first of all, he is a subtle psychologist, as I said. And it was he who came up with this important term, and since the term is too long, he gave his abbreviation version of DGEI.I accepted with the students: let DGEI.Already and have got used: ДГЭИ = effective group emotional identification. It turns out that the old term "empathy", which for so many years served humanistic psychology as faith and truth, does not fully reflect the essence of the matter. You can say that it displays a more passive empathy. And DGEI is, as it were, a more active empathy. That is one thing, if I shudder at what hurts you. And another - if I throw everything and run to the other end of the city for an anesthetic drug. Empathy and "DHEIem" are permeated by everyone in an optimal marriage. Della cut off her luxurious hair to buy her husband a chain for his pocket watch for Christmas, and Jim sold the watch to buy Delle's comb for her gorgeous hair. This is O. Henry's story "The Gifts of the Magi."Irony of fate, but more subtle and clearly more sniveling than in the famous film "The Irony of Fate".

    It is unlikely that other forms of the women's union can "boast" such a deep interpenetration of empathy. I do not want to give many examples, they are everywhere on the surface. Let the reader find them. I will only say that in empathy and in DGEI - the meaning of marriage.

    And the parent of a childish relationship. I'm sitting at the computer, "I do not touch anyone."My three-year-old daughter Katya then comes to me with a request to "popikat."It is important to me that she likes to work on the computer. So the alphabet is easier to master, even elements of computer graphics. And easily agrees:

    - Then give me, please, markers. I'll paint them on the floor.

    As the child does a lot of imitation, bringing up empathy and DHEI in it is easier, if an example is given.

    So, since the spouses have this habit in their relationship, the child absorbs it and is brought up by it. That's so simple and tasteful, everything happens if the marriage is harmonious. .. And even if not very harmonious, but marriage. After all, if there is a marriage, then from time to time will empathy. .. and DGEI.But, of course, it is better to make efforts and optimize it. However, if the family has collapsed, then what kind of empathy can we talk about? As a child, she will be brought up? With the coming parent. ..

    You can expand the thought. To empathy and DGEI calls on the moral code of Jesus Christ. This and "Love thy neighbor.like his own self. "This is "Throw a stone at me, if it is sinless."This is in "If you have two things, give the other to the poor."This is in the answer of Christ to the young man who asked "how to be saved": "Give everything away."This is because Christ took upon himself the sins of mankind. ..

    I am an unbeliever. And I do not keep all the commandments strictly. But I share many of them. But those "believers" who are at the same time stealing, I would advise you to listen and fulfill ALL the commandments. But then the tongues of hellfire are already reaching their heels. .. But people who profess at least the moral code of humanism, that is, humanistic psychology, I advise to develop empathy and practice DGEI.And first of all in the family. .. At the same time it is necessary that all this be mutual.