Life values of spouses
The term "value" is widely used in sociological and philosophical literature. All the variety of objects and phenomena of the world around him is estimated by him from the point of view of usefulness, necessity for providing vital activity. Values, as a rule, are endowed with both persons and objects, ideal states of things, actions, situations, moral norms, principles. Values are also ideological views, ideas, ideals, concepts of equality, brotherhood, freedom, democracy, etc.
The range of values may include individual qualities of a person: kindness, responsiveness, caring, tenderness.
The system of values, formed by a person during the entire period of upbringing and socialization, helps to easily and simply classify the diversity of phenomena and objects of reality from the point of view of their usefulness and necessity.
It allows you to organize, systematize the most diverse information that a person receives from the outside world to meet their own needs, desires, intentions.
Therefore, it can be argued that the value orientations of the individual( the system of its values) are not something arbitrary. They are primarily based on the formed needs of the individual, her desires, aspirations.
From the system of values of the individual follows the motivation of the activity, which is a conscious justification for the necessity of accomplishing certain actions. Value orientations of the personality play a leading role in the process of making the vast majority of decisions. For example, the decision to marry or to dissolve first of all follows from the system of values of the individual, which itself is based on a system of needs.
When deciding to dissolve a marriage, the person primarily motivates him by not meeting important needs from his point of view.
The value system is one of the most important components of the internal structure of the individual. With its help, a man easily delimits the important from the unimportant, the essential from the unessential, useful from the impulses, interests, which are useless in terms of their individual needs.
This gives the behavior of a person a certain stability, a stable direction, organization. Moreover, if we know the system of values of a particular person well, then, in principle, we can foresee its behavior in certain life circumstances.
The personality values system determines the direction of behavior, activity. Knowing the system of values of this individual, that is, what is dear to him, meaningfully, is necessary in life, we can foresee how a person will react to acts in interpersonal relationships in family life. Spouses are well aware of the value system of each other and can foresee the behavior of the partner.
When young people get married, they basically have the same universal values. Approximately the same will be their group values, if they belong to the same social group. However, this does not mean that their ideas and views coincide, since the individual characteristics, life experience, personal destiny of each inevitably give such variations, which are very far from each other. Therefore, disagreements, differences, disputes between spouses, especially young ones, are just natural and natural. Must pass a certain period of time, and considerable, so that the mutual grinding of the views took place. We call this process mutual adaptation in the field of individual value systems.
Clothing, home, home comfort, career, success, favorite work, health, family, children in our subjective perception act as definite values.
As values, literally everything that is related to the satisfaction of a wide variety of needs: material, psychological, physiological, aesthetic, moral.
The value system of personality is a complex ideal formation of our consciousness and self-awareness. Sociologists and psychologists have much to study in this area. Note that in sociology it is customary to talk not about the system of values of the individual, but about the system of value orientations, but we believe that this is one and the same.
The value system enables the individual to decide what is important to her in marriage and family life. These values can be: children, their health and well-being;love, affection, tenderness, caring on the part of the partner;material well-being of the family and satisfactory living conditions;satisfaction with the sexual life in marriage;health as one's own, and another partner;good relations with parents and relatives of both parties;the ability to give wholly to your favorite art, your favorite profession, professional success and career.
Individual values are organized in a certain hierarchical structure according to the degree of their importance, relevance, necessity in a given period of a person's life. Such a hierarchical structure is not frozen. On the contrary, it is flexible and dynamic enough. So, for a young man who has just finished school, the limit of dreams is to enter a favorite university and acquire the desired profession. In this period, the need for education and choice of profession is the most important value that occupies the first place in the value system. When the dream has come true, this value goes to the third or fourth plan. For example, after a while a young man falls in love with a beautiful classmate. Now his highest value is her attention, her reciprocal feeling. The young people got married, and with all the acuteness before them a housing issue arose. The apartment in this period at the newlyweds is the leading value.
As we have seen, the same value can occupy different ordinal positions in importance in different periods of a person's life. Naturally, significant discrepancies in individual value systems lead to numerous conflicts of various destructive forces for the marriage union.
So, divergences of spouses in views and views are very diverse. For greater accuracy of scientific understanding, we call them discrepancies in individual value systems. They create a special group of conflicts between spouses. Unfortunately, such conflict situations have not been studied before, and we do not have specific sociological information on this issue. Now we can only argue that the analysis of the motives of divorces, the hobby that we ourselves have experienced, does not give anything to understand the conflicts of spouses on the basis of the incompatibility of their values.