Psychological Compatibility in Marriage

Click the TV remote control several times after zero o'clock - and come across fat or emaciated women, almost always one by their appearance unfortunate, but. .. guaranteeing happiness to others. Each of them "protects", "removes damage", "returns love", "solves financial problems", "ensures success in business".I said "women" because the men are so much smaller that you can say that I said the truth. You also need to explain why. Probably, because, why witches were more than sorcerers. And this, and that - because women are more emotional and irrational, because they are less critical. And they all not only speak, but also waved their hands. To impress. When, after graduating from a medical institute, I began to work as a psychiatrist and started to hypnotise, I also enthusiastically made passes to make an impression. Soviet

psychiatry in general and psychotherapy as part of it were poor in ideas, besides in 963, Soviet psychiatrists uttered a name, for example, Freud with caution, no matter how deprived the diploma. About Frankle did not hear. From Fromm wrote only Soviet philosophers, and all about how bourgeois he was and how he distorted Marxism. Therefore, there was what was allowed. Hypnosis was allowed, because Academician Pavlov said some positive physiological words in his address.

So, the passes. The percentage of 3-4 patients this produced an impression, they fell into a state of deep hypnosis. Hypnosis gave results - five days, five weeks, sometimes five months. But always it was for a while, not for the whole time, and always it was in relation to the symptoms, and not in relation to fate. At the time of his recognition, Dr. Freud had already given up hypnosis and went his own way - he created psychoanalysis. Without falling into the "megalomania", I will say that I also refused hypnosis and also went my own way. But neither Freud, nor his disciples, nor modern psychotherapists, including myself, promise to remove the evil eye or to return the husband - this is still the last part of the walk or the result of thoughtlessness.

Considerable place in all this masturbation is the subject of horoscopes. We are told that these or other horoscopes are compatible with those, not other horoscopes. But no matter how much I tried to get to the original sources, that is, before the initial research, it did not work out.

What do I understand by source? It is necessary to take a lot of people and describe their characters by signs, which all researchers agreed. It is necessary that there is a universally recognized set of these signs. Each of the subjects is described by signs precisely and only from this set. Then people from this large and random sample are grouped using these characteristics, by similarity and differences. Next, we need to see how these or other complexes of features are combined with those or other variants of the arrangement of planets and birth dates. In general, work for a large research institute for many years. .. Alas, I do not even know of any attempts to conduct such a job. Perhaps, because it is impossible to embrace the immense, and maybe, they were not at all?. . But not yet, it turns out nonsense.

If the authors of horoscopes offered at least some plausible hypotheses about the mechanisms of influence of

the location of the planets, which could be checked. .. So there is no such thing. Conversely, the hypotheses about the influence of the arrangement of the planets on the traits of character cause a sarcastic smile. Well, how, if one does not depart from common sense, can the location of the planets affect the fate and character traits of each particular person? To spend mankind's efforts on research without a realistic hypothesis is also hardly reasonable.

Of course, chemistry was born from alchemy. This means that if you devote a lot of lives to some occupation, it will be something sensible."If you suffer for a long time, something will come out."Better say: maybe it will. But this does not mean that it will necessarily work out. After all, many alchemical hypotheses have not been confirmed. Well, they did not receive gold alchemists from iron, no matter how they pinned it.

So let's leave the question about horoscopes until better times, when mankind will not experience hunger and humiliation and when will cope with technogenic( technical in origin) and anthropogenic( connected with human activity) catastrophes. And before this time to check the idle hypothesis - it is unlikely even ethical.

I'm not going to systematically and completely cover the compatibility problem. I'm going to discuss what my eye fell on.

And he fell first of all on the unity of value orientations. To begin with, we will clarify that unity manifests itself in two very different things. In the similarity and in the compatibility of the needs of the spouses.

If there is a similarity of needs, then it is only necessary to give an idea how the other immediately picked it up. Let's say a husband says:

- You know, in our cinema there is a retrospective of Tarkovsky's films, from "Ivan's Childhood" to "Nostalgia", I'm running for tickets. .. Ah?

And since my wife also watched "Andrei Rublev" and "Mirror" several times, she agrees:

- That's cool

Maybe compatibility. He likes to fish and brings with pride the catch, and she likes to cook freshly caught fish. Well, that's right, for a primitive understanding. We continue the argument. He likes to write scientific concepts. And she knows how and likes to make computer imposition. You look - and money for the next article has increased the family budget. Yes, you never know. ..

Anyway, the unity of the moral values, tastes, ideals, interests and life plans optimizes the marriage. Personality is a constant choice of values. There is money - what on them first of all to buy, what - in the second. Strongly different set of values ​​"among partners is a source of conflicts Valuable orientations are important for compatibility with people, including with the spouse

But there is, in my opinion, another, not less important, moment.

And now if each psychotype is carried through some kind of more or less the same set of such "lines", then the support in diagnostics will appear, they can be clearly visible not only to specialists,but also to people who do not haveIn order to see that the button on the jacket on a man's head hangs on two strings for two months, we do not need to conduct testing, but we'll see this in a schizoid sooner. And so, step by step, each psychotype is described

As a system-building scientificI am almost tempted to draw up a detailed table, like Mendeleev's, but as a scientific journalist I will strive to interest the reader, and this, of course, is due to systemic nature. All the same, we will build a not very pretentious grid. We will try to clarify the interaction of each most significant psychotype with each most significant psychotype. In this case, I will not give a full description of psychotypes, but only those of his features that facilitate or complicate relations with other people.

Specify. The names of psychotypes originally appeared in psychiatry. But it became clear that in the same vein can be considered and drawing personality. So each of us is right to put this or that personal diagnosis. Perhaps, with less probability, it will not be a drawing of a person, but an accentuation or even psychopathy. But most likely - all the same picture.