Father as friend
The child needs the friendship and approval of his father. Boys and girls need to be with their father, feel his love and, if possible, do something with him. Unfortunately, most often the father, returning home, wants only to sink into a chair and unwrap the newspaper. If he understood how valuable his society is to the child, he would make more reasonable efforts. I say reasonable: do not think that the conscious father( and mother) should be forced to do what he can not. It is better to play fifteen minutes of fun, and then say: "And now I read the newspaper" than angrily all day wandering around the zoo.
Sometimes a father wants to raise a perfect son that prevents them from spending time with each other. A father who wants his son to become an athlete, very early starts to teach him to play football. Naturally, the child often makes mistakes. If the father scolds him all the time, even if in a friendly way, the child becomes uncomfortable, And he is not at all interested or fun. Besides, it seems to him that he is not good for anything.- in the eyes of his father and everyone else. If the child is confident enough and sociable, sooner or later he will become interested in sports. And his father's approval will help him more than his lessons. A game of football is good when it is offered by a son, not by a father.
The boy does not become a man just because he is born with a male body. He is forced to act like a man and feel like a man the ability to imitate, build himself like men and older boys, to whom he treats in a friendly way. He can not imitate a person if he does not feel that this person loves him and approves. If the father always behaves irritatedly or impatiently with the son, the boy will feel insecure not only with him, but with other adults and older boys. He will keep closer to his mother and borrows her manners and interests.
Therefore, a father who wants his son to grow up a man should not scream at him when the boy cries, makes fun of him when he plays with the girls, or makes him play sports. He should rejoice at his son, make him feel that he is all in his father, share secrets with him, sometimes take him alone with him for walks.
The girl also needs a father-friend. It's easy to understand that a father needs a boy as a model, but many do not understand that his father plays a different, though equally important role in the formation of his daughter. She does not repeat it by herself, but gets self-confidence in both the girl and the woman when she feels his approval. I mean such cases when the father praises the daughter's dress, or her hair, or the biscuit that she baked. When she becomes older, the father can show that he is interested in her opinion, and will introduce her to her. Later, when she has buddies, it is very important that he greets them warmly, even if deep down he thinks that they are not good enough for her.
Learning to appreciate the masculine qualities of her father, the girl prepares for an adult life in a world that is half male. The way she is friends with boys, and then with men, in whom she falls in love, with whom she marries - all this is determined by the strong influence of the relationship with the father that developed in childhood.
When the game goes too far. Most fathers like noisy games with children, and most children also love them. But children are often overexcited in such games, and this sometimes leads to nightmares at night. It must be remembered that in two or three or four years children's love and hatred, children's fears easily get out of control. Little children are not very clearly aware of the difference between the real and the imaginary. For them, a father who depicts a bear or a prize fighter, for a time actually becomes a bear or a fighter. For a small child, this is sometimes too much. Therefore, such games should be short and not very noisy and violent, even if the child asks for more. The main thing is not to play in war or in pursuit. Let it be a simple acrobatics. And in any case, stop if the child is too excited.
The father should not laugh at the child. On average, men are more ferocious than women. In a civilized world, they have to keep this feature under control. When a man is annoyed by a friend or business partner, he can not just hit him or insult him. But in accordance with the accepted rules, you can make fun of him. So men learn to joke. When the father feels a slight annoyance to his son, he may begin to ridicule him. When a child laughs, he feels humiliated and does not know how to respond. Mockery is too powerful for children.