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  • Duties of the child


    Let him rejoice in his duties. How does the child learn to perform multiple duties? By its very nature, he begins to realize that dressing, brushing his teeth, sweeping the floor, cleaning up are all adult and tempting things. If the parents manage to maintain good relations with him when he gets older, he will be happy to carry out various tasks: bring firewood, knock out carpets - because he still wants to do important work and help his mother and father. Most of us( including the author) do not manage to raise children in such a way as to ensure constant cooperation and mutual understanding. But if we understand that children want to be useful, it will be easier for us not to turn household duties into an unpleasant occupation. Only do not need to be irritated to do these duties.

    You can not expect the child to be responsible for the fulfillment of his responsibilities - even at 15 years.(Most adults also lose a sense of responsibility from time to time.) You need to remind him. If you have the patience, remind politely, "for granted" tone, as if talking with an adult. It is an irritated, degrading tone that kills all the joy of doing work. It also helps if you give the child a job that he can do with other family members: wipe dishes or cut a lawn. Then the adulthood of the task and the consciousness that it helps, spur the child.

    Dressing. Between the year and a year and a half the child tries to undress himself( he pulls the stocking to the stomach, and the one, of course, gets stuck).By the age of two he is already undressing quite successfully. Now he is trying very hard to get dressed, but everything is confusing. It will probably take another year, so that he learns to put things on easier, and the most difficult, for example button fastening or tying laces, comprehends only to four or five years.

    The period from one and a half to four years requires a lot of tact. If you do not let the child do what he knows, or if he constantly interferes, he will become angry. If he is not allowed to learn at that age, when he wants it, he can forever lose his desire. But if in the beginning you do not help him, he will never dress and will be disappointed with his own failure. Help him as tactfully as possible. Pull out the sock a little to make it easier to finish. Put the clothes that he will put on, so that he is more comfortable. Interest in its lighter parts of the work, and yourself perform more difficult. If he is confused, do not take it upon himself, but help him unravel. Let him continue on his own. If he feels that you are with him, and not against him, he will be much more compliant. But, of course, this requires a lot of patience.

    Cleaning of toys. If your child is still small, and you want him to take away the toys, turn it into a part of the game and play with enthusiasm: "Square cubes will go here, high heaps, and long ones come here. Imagine that there is a garage here. It's time for the machines to sleep. "By the age of four or five, he will get used to cleaning up with himself and will enjoy this activity. Many times it will be done without a reminder. But if he still needs help at times, help him in a friendly way.

    If you say a three-year-old child: "Now get your toys out of here," it sounds unpleasant. Even if he likes this activity, you come to the point too practical, and this three-year-old will not like it. In addition, he is still in a "stubborn" age.

    The benevolent help in cleaning not only develops a kind attitude, but is easier for the mother than long disputes.

    Kopusha. If you ever have to see how a mother tries to pick up a sluggish child in the morning, how she drives her, warns, scolds - get out of bed, wash, dress, eat, do not miss school - you'll immediately swear that you neveryou will not behave this way. The child was not born with croakers. He became it gradually, in most cases because of constant pushing: "Quickly die", "How many times do I tell you: go to bed!".It is easy to develop the habit of constantly hurrying a child, but in it it fosters stubbornness. Parents say that if they do not hurry, the child will never finish. It's a vicious circle, but his parents started it. More often mother. Perhaps, her character is impatient, used to forever pushing others - especially men. And usually he does not even realize how much his own son's initiatives are being deprived.

    In the early years, even before the child is able to follow instructions, help him cope with everyday activities. When he gets older and will be ready to take responsibility, step back into the background as quickly as possible. If he lingers, something will be forgotten, imperceptibly take command on himself. When he goes to school, accustom him to the idea that now it is his concern - do not be late. Maybe it's useful to let him go one or two late or miss the school bus and lessons: let him feel regret and remorse. The child is much more mother regrets if she misses something. This is the most reliable incentive for him.

    You may feel that I believe that the child should not have any duties. On the contrary. I believe that, he must sit at the table when the food is ready, and get up in the morning at the due time. I just want to say that if he is allowed to show his own initiative most of the time, to remind "for granted" in a tone when he forgets to do something, not scold and do not pre-order, do not push too much, he usually does what he needs.