What are the origins of nagging children?

You can often hear that "here before they knew how to raise children."It implies the education of children in severity, so that they "could be seen, but not heard."But the problem is that most of the present parents were brought up, and they do not want to keep their children "in an iron grip", do not want obedience based on fear.

In this so-called "golden age" of education adults were the main in the family( and most importantly - the Father).They maintained discipline by flogging, moralizing, humiliation and punishment.

In the 1960s, when society became freer and more democratic, many parents abandoned old methods of education, especially from punishments and bans, and began to indulge children in everything. At the same time, children began to assert themselves more and more confidently about their rights, and also that they would not tolerate adult corporal punishment and moralizing. Now we are witnessing trials in which children are opposing their parents.

During this time in the society there were objective changes that affected the relationship between children and parents. The mass media are becoming more accessible. Producers produce ads designed for children. All this becomes fertile ground for whining.

• Girls-schoolgirls are sure that their popularity among peers directly depends on hair, clothes and figure.

• Preschoolers want to eat exactly those corn flakes that are advertised on TV by their favorite characters.

• The output of each high-budget children's film is accompanied by the sale of "related products": comics, CDs with games, school supplies and collectible figures. At the same time, large-scale advertising campaigns inspire children that they simply need these goods.

• Junior students are ready to play computer games for hours.

• Teens require shoes and clothing advertised by athletes or celebrities.

• Children listen to music on their headphones all day and do not want to shoot them.

It is very easy for children to be convinced that these or other goods will help them to feel more comfortable among their peers. Having absorbed the promotional message, they will whine until the parents give in and buy what the children demand. Modern children also watch TV more, including films that encourage disobedience and bad behavior. All this can cause problems in relations between parents and children. Specialists of the American Academy of Pediatrics are not recommended to put in children's televisions and computers, they also believe that children under two years of age should not watch television at all.

Parents often hear, including from pediatricians and child psychologists, that the violence of advertising on radio, television and the Internet really causes bouts of hysterics and disobedience. Studies have been carried out, allegedly confirming the connection of aggression with violence on TV screens. Sometimes it is difficult to determine the cause of whining or bad behavior, so we will focus on the goal - on what children seek to get by whining.

Obsessive advertising complicates the processes of education and upbringing, but despite this, parents still remain the main authority for their children( not only kids, but also adolescents).Strong, trusting relationships in the family, based on mutual respect for each other - that's what you need to counter the influx of external negative factors. It is parents who should lay the basic values, guided by which children will build their further life.

Parents should understand that whining or bad behavior is a choice that children make consciously. Therefore, it makes no sense to seek excuses and make of them innocent victims who fell under bad influence. Thus, you deny the child's ability to make decisions independently and bear responsibility for them. Children snarl not because they saw it on TV, but because this behavior allows them to manage their parents and get what they want.

The greatest influence on children is rendered not by TV and the Internet, but by parents. They should lay down in the child concept about the basic values ​​and by own example to teach him to prioritize.

Yes, children often repeat what they see in everyday life or on the TV screen, but this does not justify their whining or bad behavior. Of course, it's easier to blame films and broadcasts in everything than to accept the fact that both children and adults are responsible for their actions. And without an awareness of one's own responsibility, it is impossible to change the situation.

How do you feel about advertising? Do not rush to buy after another commercial? If so, the child will do the same. Do you know what your children are watching and what kind of music they are listening to? You, as a father or mother, are obliged to explain to the child the features of the world of pop culture, to teach him to take a critical view of information, to check and analyze it.

A well-educated child will not blindly believe advertising promises, in everyday life he will be guided not by peer opinion, but by the rules and values ​​that his parents gave him. It is adults who should lay the concept of the main and minor in children, which will help them less to be influenced by advertising that promotes consumerism. It is also important to form stable positive self-esteem in children, then it will not have to be compensated with a soft toy or a sneaker with a pattern "like everyone in the class."Busy parents try to appease children with gifts, and this is wrong. Parental love is measured not by sweets and toys, but by the time spent with the child.

Some parents spoil children to such an extent that it is sometimes impossible to communicate with them normally. Contrary to common sense, such moms and dads fulfill all the desires of the child, justify his bad behavior and prefer to give in order only to have a family in the world. The problem is that such a "world" is short-lived. Very soon the children begin to whine again and make hysterics, because this is a very effective way to get it.

Many mothers and dads are afraid to take the lead in educating and educating their own children, and maybe just do not know how to do it. Some unconsciously repeat the mistakes of their own parents, because working on themselves and changing is very difficult. Adults increasingly do not have enough time and energy to develop a consistent strategy of education and consistently adhere to it.

In most cases, the parents' reaction to whining or disobedience is haphazard and spontaneous, they do not know how to cultivate a sense of responsibility in the child.