The first days in the role of a parent

Adapting to a new being does not always go according to plan - family life with a newborn requires a lot of things, and here it is impossible to give universal advice that would lead to success.

At the heart of the physical results of the birth of a child is a huge bundle of emotions, some of them quite unexpected for you. Some parents, embraced by happy emotions and an "easy" child, plunge into their duties with great enthusiasm and without difficulty, others become more tense, experiencing the weight of real responsibility to be parents. Each pair has its own way.

WHAT CAN BE EXPECTED ON FIRST DAYS?

In addition to having to cope with physical ailments, for example seams from an epizootic or caesarean section, the following factors will affect your daily life:

♦ The sense of responsibility of There will be a sudden realization that you are responsible for a helpless creature completely dependent onyou in the diet, change of linen, bathing, caring and love.

♦ No

mode Before your baby was born, your day was relatively predictable, but now it has become messy, as you will live from one feeding or changing a diaper to the next. But soon you will establish a new day regime based on the needs of your child, but keep in mind that for a while your life will be chaotic.

♦ New needs of Child care is an extremely difficult matter, both physically and psychologically. Lack of sleep, efforts to acquire new skills, new worries can create for you and your spouse a significant physical and psychological stressful situation.

♦ Guests of Everyone will want to see the new man, and you, perhaps, will experience an indescribable pleasure, showing your child to friends and relatives. However, this

can mean that you will have little free time to rest and "recharge the batteries".

♦ Changing the image of You may have had a full working day before the birth of a child and you and your spouse often went to visit, a restaurant, etc., without even planning it. Now a new stage of your life has come for you, in which both of you must sacrifice your personal freedom, because you will have to take in another family member.

♦ Addictive period Like any parent, you will try to do everything right and right for your child. However, be patient with yourself and do not allow occasional small disappointments to shake confidence in your capabilities. Soon you will get used to to changes in of your life, and after a few weeks you will be surprised what to do with all this free time. The minuses of parental responsibilities will soon be blocked by their pluses.

Joys of and disorders

You just were glad that the child sucked all the milk without any complaints, and now you are ready to burst into tears, as he screams, and you do not understand what is bothering him. From time to time you will feel uncertain, anxious and even confused, but do not worry - some mood swings are common.

You will be surprised to learn that four out of five women and some men experience, in varying degrees, depression and anxiety in the first weeks after the birth of the child."Children's melancholy" is so widespread that it is already considered a normal phenomenon. The feeling of depression can be associated with a significant drop in the level of pregnancy hormones in the female body after childbirth, it is also associated with a predictable response to the tremendous responsibility associated with caring for the newborn, as well as with other changes in your body and lifestyle. But whatever the reasons, "child melancholy" should soon pass, as you will accumulate parental experience, while self-confidence will grow.

To cope with rapidly changing feelings, do not keep them in yourself, share with your spouse or close friend. Also, try to spend some time doing things that are fun, for example, watch your favorite movie, read a good book, go to a friend, take a bath and soak in it.

Response to the birth of a child

Many women react to the birth of a child in a way they themselves did not expect. Some believe that their experience is completely out of the expected, this reaction is often noted if the birth is not in accordance with the plan, for example, when using forceps. Any violation of the smooth flow of labor can be traumatic( even when the child

is born without any consequences for him), which can not but affect feelings and emotions. Some women experience a sense of guilt if, for example, they had to use funds to relieve pain, and they planned "natural" births. Such reactions to the birth of a child are absolutely normal, and they soon pass. Coping with them will help talk about your feelings with your spouse or another newly-born woman. After finding out that you can not stop thinking about the birth of a child, see a doctor

Postpartum depression( ) If you feel depressed for more than two weeks, talk with your doctor, since you may have a CD.Other symptoms of the disease may be apathy, difficulty falling asleep or feeling panic, alienation, inability to cope with everyday activities, indifference to the child or even fear that you can harm him.

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE THE PARENT OF

The birth of a child assumes the emergence of new experiences of various kinds, which in part make parenting so exciting. But along with the pleasant moments there will be time constraints, that is, it will not be easy for you to find time for yourself. Every day, many decisions will have to be made regarding various aspects of the child's life, from choosing sliders to the number of feedings per day. Of course, there will be times when you will not know how to proceed, but all the chances are that in most cases you will make the right decisions.

Being a parent is almost akin to fulfilling legal obligations. The first months require that the mother is almost always next to the child. When the baby is hungry, tired, bored or sick, it makes no difference to him that you are busy or tired. The extra strength that you can find to meet the needs of the child will help establish a strong emotional connection between the

I.

by you. In addition to stress and tension from the parental responsibilities, you will have many moments of joy and satisfaction. When, holding to your chest, you are holding a clean, warm baby, faithfully staring you in the face, all bitterness recedes into the background. The same new joy will be given to you by the child, which he will acquire over time. You will become aware with love that the child is well.

Perhaps you are surprised to find yourself features that were not found before. Many parents discover that during the day they can do more than they thought before, that they have hidden reserves and purposefulness, which they did not suspect. Parents are also often surprised by the tremendous love and willingness to protect their baby, which lies in them.

Trust your spouse

If there is a man in your life, do not try to take everything on yourself. At first, you probably want to spend all your time with your child or

, you think that you are better than your spouse, you will be able to cope with the duties of caring for the baby, but soon you will gain enough confidence to share the responsibility for caring for the child, without worrying ifsomething will be done wrong. Insisting on doing everything yourself, you will come to the fact that the child will become too dependent on you. Remember also that each of the parents has a child learning different things. Regardless of whether you are breastfeeding or from a bottle, each parent should be involved. Breast milk can be expressed, and any parent can give a bottle. The same applies to other household tasks for caring for the baby: bathing, changing diapers and dressing. The child will enjoy the love and attention of both parents - and they should not always be the same.

KEEP ALL UNDER THE

CONTROL The reality of the parental life does not always correspond to expectations, and you may encounter with in that you will need much more effort than you expected. It can be difficult to always be ready, responding to the needs of the child, whether it is feeding, changing a diaper or motion sickness. But you must become a caring mother and not lose control over yourself and do not let the child dominate.

To control your emotions, you should always be confident in yourself and your thoughts. Of course, this does not mean that you should not have any doubts and that you will never make mistakes, caring for the child. Of course, it will be so, because every person sometimes wants to correct what has been done. Do not let random moments affect your self-confidence. You can assume that all other parents are more capable than you, but you know that all mothers and fathers have similar thoughts.

Always try to share your thoughts and feelings with your spouse or close friend. The presentation of their thoughts to another person will help them organize and clarify, even if the listener does not give any advice. But if you are given any advice, listen to what they say to you, and discuss the issue together. In the end, you probably do not change your decision, but you will be more confident about the accepted.

Using the advice of other people

But if you have a lot of options to solve the problem( sometimes contradicting each other) offered by relatives and friends who act out of good will and are convinced that their option is the best, problems may arise. They just want to help you, but too many tips can cause the opposite result - absolutely disorienting you. If you are tormented by a sense of right choice in the presence of various kinds of advice on caring for the child, the considerations given below may help you.

♦ There are more than one "right" way to bring up a child Although there are certain principles of upbringing of children applicable in every family, for example, every child should be loved, many issues fall within the competence of an individual decision. Some parents strictly adhere to the regime, while others prefer a less fixed approach to this and other issues.

♦ Something that fits the child of acquaintances may not fit your . Although the child of the familiar falls asleep while driving the car, does not mean that the same will happen to yours. Listen to the considerations of other parents, but do not think that everything will "work" for your family.

♦ There is a fashion for parental behavior Some time ago it was thought that "the child should be seen, but not audible", whereas at the moment parents teach children openly and confidently express their views. Views on parental behavior often change, which can lead to a conflict between you, your parents and your husband's parents. You may encounter that your actions are criticized by the older generation or that they scold you for not paying attention to their advice, so always thank the "old people" for help, but explain why the advice does not fit your situation.

♦ There is no need to follow advice that you do not like Suppose, for example, that someone recommends feeding the child every time he cries to achieve peace and quiet. This advice will not work for you if you are a person who is used to following a certain order. You, of course, can first try

, but do not stick to this approach for a long time. Use the approaches that are acceptable to you. The best strategy to cope with the advice of friends and relatives, persistent and not very - is to listen carefully to them, carefully evaluate, discuss the matter with your spouse or close friend and then make a decision.

Do not rush, give time to try out your ideas

Once you have adopted a plan of action for child care, for example, bedding with a lullaby, try to follow it. If your strategy does not work right away, change the approach and try something else. However, stick to your original idea for at least a few weeks before you abandon it.

Accept for yourself that you are only human and have the right to make a mistake. This does not mean that you are a bad mother or you do not want to do the right thing. What's wrong with learning from your mistakes? Applaud yourself when your actions have been crowned with success.

SPEND TIME FOR YOURSELF

Your new life can have many free moments if you know how to use them. The more things you plan, the better, so try to make a basic plan for several days, for example, when you go with your child for a walk in the afternoon or when to bathe him.

Once you have a free minute, use it. Relax, at the same time put your feet high on the support - there is no need to mention that you spend all day on your feet and they require rest. Take the rule several times a day to do a 10-15-minute break, when the child is sleeping or his spouse is looking after him. Take advantage of this time,

, to do something that really gives you pleasure. If the child calms down and falls asleep after feeding, and you want to get some sleep - go ahead! You will feel much better. If you have the opportunity to practice relaxation in your spare time, practice - you will feel better. Divide the homework After the birth of the child and the appearance of the newborn in the house, you will probably find that you have less opportunity to do homework that you previously did vigorously. Try not to think that you can not cope with everyday problems. Just discuss this with your spouse. Look at the works below and decide who will perform them.

♦ Cooking.

♦ Shopping.

♦ Cleaning.

♦ Ironing.

♦ Feeding the baby.

♦ Changing diapers.

♦ Bathing a child.

♦ Dressing the child.

♦ Taking care of the baby at night.

♦ Caring for older children.

♦ Care of the garden.

♦ Pet care.

If you and your spouse can not cope with all matters, try to look for help. Do not be afraid to take it from friends or relatives - ask them to go shopping or iron their clothes. Also consider the issue of hiring a nanny or a housekeeper, at least for a couple of hours a week. You can talk to other parents and learn about their experience of sharing responsibilities. And do not worry if you do not do an insignificant job( dust is not cleaned up somewhere) - no one will notice. For you and your spouse are more important to find time to relax from their parental responsibilities.