How to cope with children's hysterics - children's hysterics
Crying, crying, tears, stomping with feet - from the side it may seem that something terrible has happened: the child has been terribly hurt or has something very sore. In fact, at this point, he does not feel bad: he is just playing the next scene to achieve his. Many parents at this point are lost: they do not know how to cope with childhood hysterics and what to do in order to prevent them. And meanwhile, there are satisfied with effective methods that will allow the child to wean the child to arrange such "concerts".
Why you have to fight with hysterics
There are parents who are rather lenient towards such stormy manifestations of the child's emotions."They will outgrow!" They console themselves. Are they right? No. As a child, the character of a person is formed. The habit of pursuing the fulfillment of desires by hysterics can, in adulthood, become a habit of seeking all that is necessary, scandals or, even worse, threats. Communicate with such a person, let alone live under one roof is not very comfortable. In the first place parents will suffer first and foremost on the occasion of their child, allowing him to taste the "sweetness of victory" in his childhood, which was won in a fairly easy way-just scream and shout. ..
What the child is trying to achieve
child-manipulatorIf you watch the child more closely for a while and try to analyze the situation when he arranged hysterics, you will soon become clear: not so much he needs "ice cream", "toy", "carousel", how much he achieves one - he hochet lead, that is, to conquer adults! Is he able to do this? If the parents, tired of his hysterics, give up and make concessions - quite!
Children are excellent psychologists
Many fathers and mothers think that their children are still so naive and inexperienced that they just can not cheat! In fact, all children are very observant and instantly find a "weak spot" for their caregivers. Last, for example, too lazy to persuade them not to cry - it's easier just to fulfill the request. Or the parents are afraid of the hysterics of the child in public places: they are uncomfortable attracting the attention of others, and therefore they are ready to fulfill any vagaries of the baby, to make any compromise - if only everything was quiet.
Methods of education
You can fight with hysterics in different ways:
- Trying to persuade the child to calm down. The method works, if the kid with his hysterics just wanted to attract the attention of adults: he did not need any toys or goodies, but a kind word from his parents.
- Do not pay attention! The method is effective, but in some cases unconstructive: if the child has made a tantrum in a public place, his long cries and sobbing can start irritating others. At home, you can train your restraint as long as you want - the child will simply tire of crying and, in the end, be sure to calm down.
- For the hysterics of the child, you can also be punished: the cuff does not help, because it only warms up his "feelings", and it will become even easier to cry - at last there will be a concrete occasion to sob. Punishment should be "moral", not "physical": you can put the child in a corner or send him to another room - when there are no "spectators" the hysterics usually quickly fades away.
- The child should know clearly that not only will he not achieve anything by his weeping, but also necessarily "suffer": he will be deprived of goodies, walks or any entertainments.
Deviation from
So, the main task of parents who are thinking seriously about how to cope with children's hysterics and what to do so that they do not arise at all - to prevent the child from feeling that tears can achieve the fulfillment of one's will. Still, in any rules there can be exceptions: if the child feels bad, frightened, experiences separation from relatives( for example, the mother left for a few days on a business trip), adapts to the new environment, the new collective, then there is no need to show special severity forattitude towards him and, perhaps, in some way make concessions to him.
Warning hysterics
By the age of 5, children should already have an approximate idea of how to behave at home, in the kindergarten, on a visit, on the street. Adults should explain to the baby why it is ugly loudly to talk, shout, cry. It is not necessary to hope that he will reach all himself: the elementary rules of ethics should be explained by parents to children from early childhood."You behave ugly!" - a well-educated child is enough and such a remark that he calmed down.
If the child is already used to make hysterics, do not think that it will be possible to re-educate him the first time: for a long time he will check you - but can not you go back to the former? After all, you obediently obeyed all his whims. .. Demonstrate firmness and patience: both to you, and to the child it will become easier! The baby's nervous system will get stronger, if he does not cry about and without reason.