To date, the statistics of destroyed marriages is growing quite rapidly. Why do people so carelessly began to treat marriage, to create a family. Previously, during the time of our grandmothers and great-grandmothers, they were much more serious about creating a family and getting married, so, probably, there were much fewer divorces at that time. What is the cause of this negligence?
Nowadays, people quite easily go to divorce, break the relationship. Many marriages are created in some sort of hurry, it would seem that they know nothing, and everything is decided on getting married, and it's not possible to think about the future in advance, although no, we all think about the future, just imagine itdifferently. Basically, a carefree family life, love, mutual understanding, well-being, birth and education of joint children appears, and after getting married, after a while you begin to understand that reality is not like our expectations and ideas. And, as a result, instead of fighting for their family people prefer to part.
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Reasons for
One of the reasons why people decide to terminate a marriage is the rush of .As mentioned earlier, many young couples marry, obeying the passion that broke out between them, without thinking about what will happen next. Many psychologists argue that marriages, which were based on a strong attraction, are most prone to disintegration. During the first time, family conflicts and disputes are not an attraction.
Instead of trying to understand each other in a young family, the race for the leadership is on. Therefore, stronger marriages are obtained only in cases when couples get married after several years of communication, and they get to know each other much better, understand, learn to give in, compromise, and therefore they approach with much greater responsibility to take thissolutions.
Another reason for divorce is the parents' will .There are cases when parents control the lives of their already grown-up children, even up to the point that they choose the groom or the bride to their taste. Most often this happens because they want to teach their children how to live properly, because which parents do not worry about the future of their child. Worst of all, when it seemed that you made your choice, and his parents categorically disapprove.
Such a negative attitude on the part of parents may be hiding, but can also be manifested openly, in the form of ultimatums. In this case, sometimes someone has to choose either parents or a loved one. And often it happens that the choice is not in favor of a loved one. It is not right. Parents, of course, wish their children only happiness, but it is worthwhile to be cautious, because you can destroy a completely happy family.
Do not agree with the characters - a very common reason, which directly includes quite a lot of concepts.
If it's good to think, then in reality everything is not in the difference of characters and interests, everything consists a little bit in another, namely, that we do not know how to find a compromise with each other, we do not have patience for the shortcomings of others, we do not want to go toconcessions, do not know how to survive critical moments. But as for the direct difference of the characters, this can only be used as an addition to each other and to make the family life of contrast.
The inability to cope with the complexities of is also the cause of many family disintegrations. As the proverb says: "With a sweet paradise and in a hut," it just does not fit for real life, but more for fairy tales. When young people lose their parents' guardianship, and enter an adult independent life, they begin to understand that the "hut" still needs furniture and a refrigerator, a washing machine and much more.
And money, as we all know very well, does not just appear in the wallet, it is necessary to work, especially difficult for young families who have just graduated from high schools and received education. They do not have a stable income and therefore have to work where they pay, and not where they would like to. Often such a life accumulates irritation and develops into conflicts that occur in the family, and so the young family can not stand such a load and everything collapses.
Do not forget about this reason, as cheating .Already established mature couples can then understand and forgive each other. The family, which was formed for many years, having its own way of life and established principles, is quite difficult to destroy in this way. But that's what concerns young families who are not yet strong, then the betrayal in this case is perceived, as a lightning-fast decision to destroy everything and start a new life, in such cases even a child born in a marriage can not help.
What's next?
According to statistics, families that live together for less than four years are at greater risk. It is at this stage that difficulties arise in getting used to each other, maintaining a common economy, and so on. According to many studies, marriage, concluded after 25 years, reduces the probability of divorce by 24%.
Best of all, when the family crisis comes, and you can not come to a mutual agreement, ask for help from a psychologist. For example, in the US this is in great demand, and retains many families. The psychologist will help you to understand what is happening in your family and how to cope with it.
When we get married, we are on a new path. Basically, we are used to solving problems quickly. We are accustomed in a matter of hours to reach anywhere in the world, we are irritated by the long way. We are used to the fact that at any moment we can contact the person we need and talk, we are annoyed if it is not available. There are many similar situations. We have become such in the last century. Previously, people respected the length of the processes, and now we are annoyed. We want our marriage to take place at once, without applying our efforts to this, without investing our energy and energy, and patience. This does not happen, in order to achieve something you need time, patience and work.
When people decide to live together, a couple is to some extent two separate worlds. Of course, we should not deny the fact that there will be quite a lot of temptations in the marriage, but it is necessary to adjust to the fact that it is serious and for life.
It is also worth noting the fact that divorce for divorced spouses is to some extent a painful experience. The divorce process is often accompanied by disappointment and gradually developing distrust towards people. Having been married and surviving a divorce, often people are afraid to remarry. Stumbling once, it's not so easy to forget about it. Therefore, in this situation it is very important to understand the reason and draw the appropriate conclusions.
The truth is that people learn from mistakes, so if it so happened that the first marriage was not successful and eventually a divorce followed, then do not rush to create a new family, so as not to step on the same rake. Well, think it over and weigh it, take a good look at your chosen one. Do not rush, every person is an individual, everyone has his own needs, views on life, learn first, at least understand each other.
Creating a family is a very important step in the life of a person. Marriages are created in heaven - for good reason they say so. Having created a family and having given birth to a child, you are responsible for one more person, in marriage, in a family you are one. And destroying marriage, a part of each member of the family is lost, only memories remain. It is best, before deciding to dissolve the marriage, again to discuss and weigh, perhaps you are making the biggest mistake in your life, obeying impulsiveness and resentment.
Calm down, think, go to a consultation with a psychologist, try to keep the family you have already created, because when you made the decision to create it, you moved some thoughts. You should never rush, destroy the built, it is always easier to do than build a new one.
