Whether it is necessary to live with an alcoholic - a life with an alcoholic

This or about such a question women have been asking themselves since time immemorial. However, if for women who lived a few dozen years ago, this question remained rhetorical, our contemporaries, fortunately, can answer it unambiguously. Indeed, today women are more free in their choice. In order to live fully and happily it is no longer necessary to have a husband( and even more so an alcoholic!).Yes, and divorces now - it's quite normal. A break with a person suffering from alcoholism, no one will condemn. Then why does the question "Should I live with an alcoholic?" Does not lose its relevance? After all, not a single woman dreamed that a person with such an addiction would become her companion of life.

What is an alcoholic in the family

Despite the fact that all people are different, under the influence of alcohol they become approximately the same. Alcoholics is a person with an extremely vulnerable psyche. He is unstable to stress and unable to cope with them without alcohol. As a rule, a person who is at the mercy of such a pernicious habit, unable to drink, becomes irritable and nervous. In general, all the actions of the alcoholic with time cease to give in to logic. Vivid outbursts of aggression are quite common. And as the disease progresses, a person will not be able to answer for himself.

All the values ​​that a person used to treasure before, lose all meaning for him. Home coziness, children, relationships with the wife, love, trust - all this becomes an empty sound. In a family where a man is sick with alcoholism, there is no trust and emotional connection between the spouses. The wife is often in a real depression, and how the children suffer! Very often children growing up in a family where there is an alcoholic have a number of psychological problems. Simply put, life with an alcoholic and life can not be called - it's a solid survival from scandal to scandal, from drinking to drinking.

Why wives do not throw alcoholics

You can even say more categorically: why many women do not even think about whether it is worth living with an alcoholic? And they continue to live, despite the beatings, scandals, fear. According to psychologists, these women are also addicted. Dependent on the struggle they lead with the habits of their husbands! Incredible, right? But the fact remains: it is no longer possible for them to live without saving their husbands from the green serpent! Warding over sick alcoholism over time becomes their meaning of life! Agree, altruistic feelings are nothing to do with! There is even the concept of "alcoholic wife syndrome".Here are his symptoms:

• A woman is fixated on her husband's problems. She does not think at all about herself, everything she does is connected with the fight against alcoholism.
• A woman is firmly convinced that only she and no one other than her are able to save her husband. As soon as she leaves him, the worst will happen to him.
• Whatever the husband has done, the wife is always ready to answer for his deed: to pay debts, settle the trouble with the law, and almost bring half-dead home! The most interesting is that often wives do not even reproach husbands for their actions - they are considered the norm.

Of course, codependence is the main reason why wives are ready to bear their cross in the form of an alcoholic husband. But there are other possible reasons.

1. Low self-esteem. The alcoholic's wife no longer believes in what is worthy of love. She gets used to screaming, scandals and slaps. How can a woman who is otherwise not well-groomed and tired of life, who was once a real beauty, live?
2. Following the traditions. Unfortunately, many women are confident that the status of the alcoholic's wife is better than the status of "divorce."This is absurd, but there are also such women.
3. Fear of change. At the word "alcoholic", the consciousness of most of us draws the image of a dirty and unshaven, completely descended man who, from the early morning, begs a trifle for a drink at the store. But, unfortunately, this is not so. Alcoholism does not spare anyone: dependent can be and quite successful and wealthy people. The only question is that the green snake is not to it in the form of cheap "ink", but in the form of cognac worth a fortune. A woman can simply cling to material goods( albeit not millions of dollars, but at least an apartment owned by her husband).

In any case, it is necessary to give a positive answer to the question "Is it worth to live with an alcoholic?" Only when the person has consciously and firmly decided to be treated. And he did not just make a decision, but began to act! Otherwise, a woman will only have to live in anticipation of a miracle that will never happen. The best solution is divorce and the beginning of a new life, in which there is no place for the companions of alcoholism fear, pain, uncertainty, depression.