How to forget the old love - forget the old love

Specialists say that heartache after a break in relations does not take place immediately, this period can take from 3 months to 3 years. The terms of experiences for each person are individual, but the stages of this tortuous process are always the same.

First you get such a shock that you can neither eat nor sleep, then start a riot - as an unwillingness to put up, you develop a violent activity, prompted only by one desire - to return a loved one. And finally, the last, the longest and most dangerous stage is depression. It can be expressed in indifference to the surrounding world, in binge, in caring to the work, in the loss of interest in life.

An effective way that will protect you from depression is to draw a line on a sheet of paper that divides it in half, and then on each half separately write all the qualities of the person who threw you - positive and negative. And do not try to approach it without prejudice, all the characteristics - both good and bad indicate subjectively, that is, from your point of view. ..

For example, your loved one did not close the tube with toothpaste - what irresponsibility!- in negative qualities immediately! Or when he drank tea, he drank it well-it was a real crime!- in the black list in big letters! He always forgot to congratulate your mother on his birthday - it's not even a flaw, but a whole flaw! Be sure to write down!

Needless to say that the list of negative qualities should grow, and positive - shrink. Then tear off the half of the sheet, where the virtues are recorded, and you will only have a list of shortcomings. Read it carefully. You yourself will be surprised - how could you love this person?! This recommendation is based on the psychological truth, which says: "If you can not change the situation, then change your attitude to it."

Psychologists, talking about how to forget the old love in the period of depression, recommend to think and try to understand what you left of yourself in the relationship that ended. On a piece of paper write, how you were with your loved one: gentle, attentive, caring, cheerful, etc. Having compiled a complete list, you need to carefully read it, and then find in yourself these traits in real life, clearly tracking specific situations in which you show tenderness, attention, care, fun. .. The more often you find the situations in which you manifestyourself as you were with your loved one, the faster you will break those invisible threads that still tie you to it.

It should be noted that men and women experience a break with their loved ones a little differently. Therefore, advice on how to forget the past love, are given separately.

Advice for men

Parting for a man is a pain of loss, mental trauma, a feeling that life is over. What can I do to return to normal normal life?

• Look into your future. Imagine your couple in 10-15 years. Could you live with this woman in harmony all these years. And if your answer is affirmative, then this is nothing but self-deception. Because consent implies complete trust. But can you trust a woman who betrayed you?
• Concentrate your attention on something that is important to you, or on what you have long dreamed of. It may be something new in your work or a long-planned trip, even a parachute jump, if that attracts you.
• Self-expression. For this, the advice given above on a sheet of paper with advantages and disadvantages is suitable. In addition, such an independent session of psychotherapy can be supplemented. Imagine that you in the past have not kissed a woman, but a poisonous snake. In the beginning, such a trick may not succeed, but after several training sessions, you will succeed and you will miss the "snake".
• Do not mope! Mark with your friends your freedom! In the end, she can be pitied, because she missed such a cool guy like you. No wonder the folk wisdom says: "If the bride goes to another, then it is not known who was lucky!", Then you will be all right, even if you sometimes even dream of an old love. ..

Advice to women

When old love is not forgotten, and the mental wounds do not drag out as quickly as one would like, you need to try to ease your life. There are several ways for this.

• Women are very imaginative, so try to fantasize a little. Imagine that you have a new fan, famous and amazing, about which all women dream. And then imagine a meeting of your couples - you are with a new man and the guy who threw you with his passion. The comparison will certainly not be in favor of that pair, and everyone will notice it, especially the former guy. Such a fantasy will help you not to underestimate self-esteem, which is the main cause of depression.
• Get distracted from sad thoughts. Some psychologists advise you to go head-to-head into work, but this advice is effective only when the work entrains you. You can sign up for some courses-visagistes or photographers - it's important that you like it! Unbeknownst to you, your melancholy will be lifted!
• Conduct a reassessment of values. And if you do not help a long list of shortcomings of an expensive person in the past, then take his photo, take a good look at it and imagine your loved one in the role of the goods, and you - as a customer. Would you buy such a product? After all, it's defective!
• Pay attention to your appearance. First of all, you need to understand yourself that you are unique! Therefore, take care of the diamond cut for its uniqueness! To do this on a beautiful sunny day, go shopping, buy yourself a few things you like, visit the beauty salon. After looking through the mirror, you'll just regret this stupid man who did not see such a woman in you!

Believe in the future

No matter how hard it is for you in such a period, try to inspire yourself that everything is yet to come, and you will surely meet the person who will share with you all life's misfortunes and joys, will always be near and neverbetrays. And this unfortunate love just let go, wishing seven feet under the keel! It was not yours, but you do not need someone else's!