Screaming and nagging child
I once advised one mother about the normal behavior of a child at the age from one year to
two. Her one-and-a-half-year-old began to scream. She immediately, automatically, shrieked: "Stop shouting!" We both laughed when we realized how ridiculous it sounded. Piercing cries and squeals reach this peak at this age, but not because the child intentionally tries to annoy everyone, but simply because the child tries his voice to find out how much decibel he can give out, and what effect his siren produces on the public. And it seems, the children take care of their loudest screams especially for the quietest places.
This is how we called for the silence of our screamers. Teach your child what sounds are acceptable for you."Show your dad a good voice. .." or give him an example of a quieter voice, switching to a whisper. When Matthew first began to bellow loudly, we led him out of the house, into the yard, and jumped and shouted together, making a game out of it. The next time he started shouting at the house, we took him back to the yard and repeated everything. After that, as soon as he started shouting, we quickly intervened and in a calm voice said: "Go and screech on the grass."In his head, postponed - in that
Do not let the
self-esteem. Sometimes children do not treat other children very well, and sometimes adults do not treat their children very well. Although parents do not need to constantly protect their child from the small pockets of life, some children are highly sensitive to attacks on their self-esteem or pass through a sensitive period - when they may not have high self-esteem. In our family, if one of the older children says to the younger: "Well, the dumbass!" - we quickly intervene: "This is an insulting statement!" Elimination of the consequences of offensive remarks that reduce the self-esteem of the child - that's where the intuitive parents shine.
Sometimes the most innocuous at first glance remark can be perceived by a sensitive child
as humiliating. Once in my office one kid, Tommy, began to pull for a tray of scales( I had already completed the inspection, and he missed while we were talking with his mother).I politely asked Tommy to stop pulling on the scales and even added a saving "please."Tommy obeyed, but when he was completely ready to be upset over the words that he took as an insulting remark, his mother came to the rescue: "Because you're so strong!" Tommy revived in spirit, like myself, becoming a witness to the insight of a strongly tiedto his child mother, who cares about his self-esteem.
Although it seemed to me that I acted correctly in this situation from the psychological point of view, I knew nothing but books - my mother knew the children.
age, when children create mental connections between the activity and the place where this activity occurs - that it can not be squealed without grass( that is, only on the street) and that any other combination does not pass. Soon this noisy stage passed, and Matthew forgot both the piercing cries and the grass.
Early screams and squeals have a shock effect, forcing everyone within range of hearing to stand still and pay attention to the child. Similarly, children whine because it works;if this is the only way for a child to get to you, he most likely will be whining.
It is necessary for the child to learn that pleasant sounds evoke a pleasant reaction. When your child speaks to you in his usual and pleasant voice, quickly give him an answer so that he will remember that this is the best voice for quick reaction. Sometimes children need to be reminded which voice causes a better reaction. As soon as your child begins to whine, quickly get him to switch to another communication channel, with these words: "[name], you have such a beautiful voice. Speak with your beautiful voice. "Repeating this lesson of good manners many times, the parent can quickly stop the whining that begins, saying: "A beautiful voice, please."In addition to the fact that your child will find out that whining does not result in
, he will begin to speak more fluently, and sounds such as whining will remain in the past.