More independence for children
Jun 29, 2018
I do not want to frighten you, but when your child chokes 18 - and maybe even earlier - it will turn into a full-fledged adult citizen, able to make their own decisions, arrange their own life in any of its manifestations and calculate their own routes in the London subway. Your work on this can be considered finished.
If at four years your child still eats with a spoon, and at fourteen you collect a portfolio for him, then most likely, independent decision making will be a difficult task for him. Therefore, you should not do for the child what he is able to do himself. This applies not only to cleaning up for themselves and to preparing school homework( I personally found that children cope with lessons far better than I could have managed when they were 8 years old).I mean that children can prepare meals for the whole family from time to time, beginning from the age of 10( even if it's just porridge or toast), to independently control the dishwasher, to get up early on Saturday to perform some kind of homemaderesponsibilities, and without your help to collect things, going to a summer camp.
But this is not the most important thing. No, no, the first thing you need to start teaching your children( and the earlier, the better) is handling money and making your own decisions.
If you from the very beginning completely take upon yourself the decision of all questions concerning expenses of your children, and will give out to them only on a small amount for pocket expenses, they will not be able to learn anything. It will be much better if, from some point on, when they become old enough, you will instruct them to dispose of themselves, for example, a clothing allowance, or give as a pocket a very small amount of money, and the rest offer to earn it yourself. One of my friends arranged a "bank" for their children, where they can invest their savings at generous interest, and thus learn not to spend, but to save. Teaching children how to handle money can be done in a variety of ways. The main thing is to find those that would be the most acceptable for you and your children.
And, of course, it is necessary to teach children to make their own decisions. Let in two years the child chooses what to wear, and in the senior classes - what exams to take. Let him learn from an early age to plan his own life independently. This includes acquaintance "on your own skin" with the consequences of wrong decisions, so do not interfere, even when you see that the child commits a serious blunder. Yes, you can advise something( although the older they become, the longer you have to wait until they ask you for advice), but in any way to exert pressure on children is unacceptable! It's their life. Do not forget that they are sure to turn 18, and then you will have absolutely nothing to do with. ..