Motivation of children

Everyone knows how badly the concept of bribery is mismatched with the image of good parents. Everyone is convinced that before this can not be dropped in any case. But let's think for a minute and clarify what we mean by talking about bribery or bribe.

The situation is the first: the child behaves badly, and you promise him ten dollars for pocket expenses if he immediately stops playing the fool. Of course, this is a real bribe. And of course, we should not do this in any case.

But imagine a different situation: your child is currently behaving perfectly, but you strongly suspect that this is not for long. Maybe you are just going to go shopping with him, or sit him down for lessons, or ask to get out of the room, or offer to eat a salad, or drive away from the TV, or send to bed. .. in a word, do something thatnormally causes a negative reaction in him. And you promise the child to somehow reward him if he continues to behave as he should. Do you recognize this as bribery?

I'm not. Now I will explain why. When I worked in various large institutions, I was told all the time that if I take on any responsibility, I can then get a promotion, or that if I achieve certain success, I will be paid a salary. Personally, I do not see any difference between the two situations. My employers did not call this bribery, they called it motivation. And this was considered a decent thing for them.

So let's stop the ridiculous chatter about the fact that children do not need to be motivated. If you do this before the child has done something nasty, this is a very reasonable and justified approach.

Naturally, you should carefully approach the choice of the method of motivation. If the only remedy you use is cash, you risk creating a gloomy picture of the world in your children. Not to mention that at the same time you yourself risk to stay penniless. In addition, you must measure the amount of compensation with the size of your requirements. Do not buy a whole new wardrobe for the child as a reward for the fact that after school he hung clothes on the hanger.

Ideally, the act and reward should be combined in its essence. If the child has honestly withstood half a day of hiking with you in the shops, without throwing out any forts, you have every right to take him to the park after that. If he could get out of bed in the morning, without waiting for him to roll it with cold water, allow him to go to bed at night for fifteen minutes later. If he maintained order in his room for two months, you can give him more money for clothes and games in the next two months.

IN THE IDEAL, ACTUALITY AND REMUNERATION MUST BE CONVERTED BY YOURSELF.