To not break up the family( reflection after the trial)
- Ugly! I will complain! Why should I think for three more months-to suffer? The young woman closes the door. "He, you see, is against the divorce. .. But I do not want to live with him."I spent four months in the hospital panting, and when I found out that I was waiting for the third child, I went to my mother. He betrayed us. .. And in general I love another person - her voice breaks, in the eyes of an angry despair.
What happened there between them, who lived together for five years? The court could not be understood: the plaintiff - in the strongest excitement, the defendant, on the contrary, - in a dull, silent depression. And three children behind everything. .. Is it possible to hurry with the decision?
This bench in the judicial corridor was not empty for an hour. Twelve divorce cases were scheduled for hearing. An exceptional day? No, typical enough for the Zelenograd people's court. The city of young people is ahead of all metropolitan areas in terms of the number of decaying marriages.
And it was from here that the persistent voice of the public, actively engaged in the problems of strengthening the family, extended for up to a year for the sake of children's interests the three-month suspension for reconciliation of divorce cases.
Argument? The figures of the families saved last year: 10 out of 40, who were cleverly helped by authoritative people in the workplace, 136 out of 755 - as a result of the work of the court and the influence of the conciliation commission at the executive committee.
And what is the world in these families - thin or good?
Twice the people's judge S.B. Grigoryev set aside the decision on the divorce lawsuit filed in February last year by Tatyana Ovoev, and in August she finished the case with these words: "Go, Igor, buy Tanya flowers and take care of each other."
How's life with them, Ooh? We'll drop by.
A clear light and a smile in the eyes of a young woman who met me better than any words told: here is the agreement. They live, however, a bit crowded."Yes, no offense," said the landlady. "And in the new job Igor has a prospect to get a separate housing."
They did not have a life together with their mother-in-law. He found comfort in painful quarrels in vodka. Twice Tanya went with her child from them to her room. To suffer a husband-drunkard? No!. .
- When the first postponement for three months gave us a judge, I was angry, indignant: "Here is a formalist!" And once I saw from the window how Igor and his daughter are playing in the garden, and such pierced melancholy. .. But frompersistence on its stood: divorce and divorce! Thanks to Judge Svetlana Borisovna - she invested both of us with her mind. Now I understand what we could lose, take it formally to the case. No, divorce is not seven - you have to measure ten times before cutting off. I think it is useful to extend the period for meditation on the spouses, - Tanya concluded with conviction.
The same opinion was expressed by three other reconciled couples.
What do specialists think? For ten years, People's Judge S. B. Grigoriev has been dealing with divorce cases.
- To stretch conciliation for up to a year?- Svetlana Borisovna thinks. - I think, the law should not be changed, if necessary, we are already going to delays. As a rule, even the first acquaintance with the divorce allows you to determine where the threads are already torn and the divorce delay is only unnecessary red tape, and where the links, although painfully disturbed, can be healed, and the time factor will certainly play a positive role.
Haste in the analysis of family matters of any nature is generally contraindicated. After all, even for establishing a certain contact with the divorcees, some kind of temporary distance is required. Sometimes the true sources of discord are not immediately perceived. And they, alas, are also extremely frivolous. We judges, constantly in time trouble and with a superficial approach, we can not catch this. Hence the divorce, which could not be.
The reasons for breaking the family are changing. If yesterday the first place was the drunkenness of one of the spouses, today - treason, loss of spiritual community. And behind this, in turn, the deep aspects of the psychological, physiological, moral order, ethical culture. Often, the family is torn by debilitating conflicts because of the simple inability of people, especially the young, to build cooperative relationships, unwillingness to overcome life's inevitable difficulties, and some deprivation. In such cases, the healing factor of time in itself is unlikely to save the family from collapse. Our plaintiffs and defendants very often need an authoritative, qualified specialist psychologist, a psychotherapist. If before the filing of the divorce application the spouses will be at their reception, divorce cases will be less. ..
Twenty-one years of married life on the shoulders of this couple. An inconspicuous woman in tears and a staid, internally stressed man. The son is already in the army, and at home an incurably sick daughter.
Woman: I can not live with him and will not. I'm not even close to this person. He has another woman, he was absent for half a year. Please do not delay the divorce.
Man: I'm against it. Everything will shake. .. I'm guilty, of course. But we have a daughter. To whom is she, the patient, needed, except us? Judge: Are you really family? Man: Yes. And I'll try. .. The court postpones the decision on the case for three months. Different trials offer each of us life, demanding courage, sacrifice, patient struggle with ourselves. .. Otherwise how to remain a man, supporting the sprouts that he gave life to?
Children in divorce are our common pain and misfortune. How to reduce, prevent unjustified losses? What can be improved in today's judicial practice in order to prevent hasty, erroneous decisions? Different points of view are expressed. Let's look, we'll think together.