Compare children with each other

One of my familiar family brings up two children, one of which( as often happens) is exceptionally well behaved, and the second is often disgraceful. And to some extent, parents themselves are to blame for this. Why? Because they tell their hooligan *: "Why do not you behave as well as your sister?" And if it's not a red rag for a bull, then I do not know what it is.

Children will never be able to treat each other in the best way, if between them there will be occasions for jealousy and envy. So in any case, do not let one of them reason to think that you think the other better in sports, school, or anything else. This does not mean that you have to pretend that they are all the same. This is ridiculous. But you do not need to focus on those differences, which maybe the children themselves never think about, and one does not need to comment on their abilities with respect to each other.

This is a very important point. You can tell the child: "You have a real talent for drawing," but not: "You have more drawing skills than your brother."In the end, why offend the poor brother? It makes as much sense as saying that his abilities are better than those of Fred Bloggs. Really? And at the same time, it seems that you view children as a system of connected variables, rather than as individuals. And the less able brother has a feeling that he is nothing more than a store "load" in addition to a more successful child.

CHILDREN will NEVER relate to each other in the best way, if there is a reason for jealousy and jealousy between them.

I'm just saying that their pros and cons should be treated separately, without comparing them. In the end, it does not matter whether they know how to cook, sing, jump on a trampoline, count in the mind, take messages on the phone, speak French, joke, comb or anything, better or worse than others. The most important thing is that they know how.

Of course, for children all this can look different. Boys are usually more inclined to compete with each other, but sometimes girls do not lag behind them. It is very likely that the children themselves will start to question you sooner or later: "Do I paint better than she?" Or "I can run faster than he does, right?" And what should I say then?