Join your child
Jun 25, 2018
Your children should know that you are their allies. In a really difficult situation, it is you who become their first and main defender - and sometimes they really need it. If the school does not pay attention to cases of bullying of one pupil over another, if the teachers failed to recognize that your child is dyslexic, if one of the teachers blatantly abuses him, of course, you have to intervene. And your child must necessarily know that wherever he is not able to solve the problem, you always stand on his side. For this, parents are needed. Otherwise, he will make sure that you do not care about his suffering.
YOUR CHILD MUST ALWAYS KNOW WHAT THERE, WHERE IT IS NOT IN THE STATE TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM, YOU ALWAYS PUT ON ITS SIDE.
Adult sometimes it is difficult to remember how helpless a small person can feel. As a child, situations with which we grow up, learn to cope without much difficulty may seem completely unbearable. It is not difficult for an adult to postpone something, say, for several months, and yet a five- or even fifteen-year-old child may seem like an eternity. I personally perfectly remember that disgusting feeling that I experienced( repeatedly) before the lesson, to which I( again) was not ready. If I am put today before that teacher who always chastised me in school years, I will not feel any fear, whatever she says to me. But as a child, I could not stand it. Children are used to perceiving teachers as an authority, and they actually do not yet have such skills and mental strengths to effectively combat the system. You must act as a defender of his interests.
I was not sure if I should use the word "fight" in the title, because diplomacy is always preferable to military operations, of course. I would not advise you to take the school principal's office by storm and force him to fulfill your demands. It is much more effective to let them know that you can stand up to their point of view, and help see the situation with your eyes. It is in this that your qualities of the right parent should manifest themselves, which should be able to conduct a business so as not to restore the school administration against itself from the very beginning.
It's also worth noting that this rule works much better if the rule is the previous one. In other words, if you have a reputation as a normal person at school, not inclined to constantly complain and argue with school orders, they will more readily listen to you if something really serious happens. But if you have only done during all the years of your child's education, that they were indignant and criticized, a label of the "same" parent will stick to you, and there are very few chances that you will be taken with understanding.
Do not ignore the bullying of your child
One of my friend, a boy named Ned, hated his name, because it was easy to dig up with anything, and of course, it was not ignored by his classmates. Their favorite teasing was "Ned, Ned, wets the bed" *.Perhaps now it may seem somewhat amusing, but for Ned it was not so.
It is easiest for parents to brush aside such things. They usually say: "There are bruises and fractures from stones and sticks, but nothing will come from words to you."But, of course, the right parents do not think so. Yes, it is probably easier to demolish teasers than daily extortion of pocket money, especially with the use of violence. But not all teasers are so innocent. They can cause a serious psychological trauma to the child.
To determine the severity of the problem can only be based on the attitude of the child himself. It does not matter whether a single bad boy teases him in the classroom or the whole class announces a boycott for him. It does not matter if he has been thrown once with a step or he is systematically beaten and taken away money. And it does not matter how it looks from your point of view - innocent banter, usual for all children, or mockery and harassment. The only criterion is the feelings of your child.
If he is really hurt and hurt, you have to intervene. You yourself probably want to do it. Methods of intervention can be very different: you can give the child advice on how to behave in such cases, you can raise the issue before the school administration, you can think of something else that seems most relevant to you. However, changing the name of the child in the documents - still, probably, too radical measure. Whatever you do, the child must see that for you seriously everything that seems serious to him.
I just want to warn you about addressing directly to the parents of those who offend your child. Any parent who is told that his child is mocking others will necessarily stand up for his protection( at least in public, although he can personally tell him anything).Most of the proceedings between parents in such situations result only in mutual hatred and continuing squabbles. So to this method it is necessary to resort only in the event that you precisely know, that the effect will be positive.