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I heard that if a child gets used to falling asleep on my chest or on my father's hands, when he wakes up, he will expect the same and will not be able to fall asleep again without us. This is true?

  • I heard that if a child gets used to falling asleep on my chest or on my father's hands, when he wakes up, he will expect the same and will not be able to fall asleep again without us. This is true?

    That's right, it's not true - what's up with that? What a valuable criticism of loving care at night. But your baby will remain a baby only for a short time, and this is the period when you lay the foundation of trust. Imagine what can happen if a child wakes up alone and is forced, ahead of time, to calm himself down.

    Parental approach, where the child is offered to calm down on his own and which turns into a mentality "Let's make sure that children do not interfere with us", emphasizes the techniques of accustoming the child to complacency - instead of allowing the child to rely on mom and dad. At first it seems so convenient and promises such relief, but beware of simple ways, especially at night. This philosophical school forgets the main principle of infant development: the need, which is satisfied in early infancy, disappears;the need that remains unsatisfied never fully passes, but comes back later in the form of a "disease of alienation" - aggression, anger, detachment or withdrawal into oneself, as well as in the form of disciplinary problems. We can offer you a practical golden rule, which you should not forget: in the first year all the desires and needs of the child usually boil down to one that remains unchanged.

    This is natural, normal and necessary for the development of the child - to be dependent. The baby needs to need. A child who is forced to be independent( to calm down on his own) is premature, deprived of a period of needs. The child needs to first learn to become attached to people and only then to things. If the baby is not allowed to need help, who is allowed? If parents can not meet his needs, who will satisfy them? Later you can experience a strong shock when you see who or what will be used to meet the needs left unattended in infancy.

    The night gives a special time for intimacy, it does not matter whether you are sleeping with the child or not. Martha had tender memories of how she nursed Peter at night( who is now a teenager), who was the last child to sleep in the nursery.