• Psychosexual development of man

    Who puts questions, he gets answers. But he must raise reasonable questions.

    U. Ramazoy

    Soviet sexologists( GS Vasilchenko, IL Botneva, VM Maslov) have developed and scientifically substantiated three stages in the psychosexual development of man.

    Let's consider the first stage of psychosexual development, which is characterized by the formation of sexual self-awareness. Starting from the first weeks of pregnancy, this, the stage goes through a long and complicated path. Unfavorable course of pregnancy, especially during the period from 6th to 32nd week, creates a risk of deviations in the sexual development of the child, so it is important to avoid infection and intoxication.

    In the first years of life, the child forms speech, develops the ability to compare and contrast the phenomena of the surrounding world. He learns not only to distinguish and call animals, people, but also to contrast them on the floor."Uncle" and "Aunt" for the year are determined already unmistakably.

    The formation of the concept of "I" coincides with the formation of sexual identity, identifying themselves with members of their sex."I am a boy", "I am a girl" - a great discovery for a child. And it is only natural that he thinks about this problem, carefully examines all parts of his body, including the genitals.

    There is no reason to worry that your 3-4-year-old son or daughter together with peers examined and demonstrated to each other genitals. These games only confirm children in the concept of gender differences.

    It is in vain that many parents and teachers consider the child's complete lack of interest in the structure of the body and genitals as a sign of successful development. On the contrary, it is bad if sexual awareness is significantly delayed and for the first time the child learns about the structure and function of the genital organs during puberty. Then this knowledge acquires an exciting, unhealthy color. And more than that: the delay of psychosexual development, belated information can create the ground for the emergence in the future of sexual pathology.

    However, this should not be understood as if the child needs to be specially "educated".Nature wisely worked for us, in time creating in children those interests and impulses that contribute to proper psychosexual development. And do not interfere with the natural course of events, but only if necessary to correct it.

    At this age, the main growth and development of the musculoskeletal system is considered to be the main manifestation of which is active movements. In the mental plan, the desire for a society of children, regardless of gender, is characteristic.

    Normally, this stage ends in about five to seven years. By this age, the child no longer only doubts the sex to which he belongs, but he also knows all the signs of sex - appearance, clothing, body structure, including genitals.

    The second stage of psychosexual development is characterized by the choice and the formation of a sex-adjustment pattern( 7-13 years).During this period, there is a choice of the sexual role most appropriate to the psycho-physiological characteristics of the child. Boys prefer to play with boys, girls - with girls, and the games themselves are very different, as if programming the upcoming roles of men and women. At this stage, there is a formation of collective self-awareness, learning to communicate with peers. As information becomes available, the increase in sexual awareness begins sexual games, most often a part of the games in the family. In an effort to copy the actions of adults, "Dad" and "Mom", feeding and putting the "children" and watching TV, go to bed. Most children on this game ends, but more knowledgeable can imitate( depict) any form of sexual activity.

    If you do not fix the attention of the child on sexual games, distract him, something to interest, these games usually pass as a brief episode and to the period of puberty remain only a vague memory.

    The attention of parents should attract another: it is very important that the boy has boyish interests and hobbies, and the girl was not alien to anything girl. It is not so rare we meet boys, who are more likely to play dolls. Such boys grow timid, obedient, affectionate, sometimes even sugary, prefer quiet games with girls, like to help at home, in the kitchen, willingly engaged in music, dancing. Do not see the parents of the bad that the girl is indifferent to the dolls, but loves to play football and hockey along with boys, climb trees, get involved in fights. Such a transformation of role behavior is most often manifested when the boy is rinsed, and the girl is treated too rationally and even severely. Often this is observed in single-parent families, Transformation of role-playing behavior is not such an inoffensive phenomenon. It lays the foundation for various deviations in subsequent sexual behavior, about the reduction of sexuality right up to the formation of homosexual drives.

    This period is characterized by insufficient development of will and impulsiveness, imitation. Parents perceive the child as a model of masculinity and femininity, as an example of the relationship between the sexes.

    In the communication with peers, primarily in sex role( family) games, which require the performance of a certain role( bridegroom, bride, father, mother, child, etc.), the selected sexual role that reflects various aspects of human relations,including sexual ones.

    The third stage of psychosexual development includes a puberty period( 12-18 years) and the period of the onset of sexuality( 16-26 years).

    The pubertal period is the most violent in the sexual development of the body, during which sexual maturation and the formation of the platonic, erotic and initial phase of sexual libido( sexual desire) occur.

    During this period, the formation of the genital organs continues, the shape of the larynx changes, the Adam's apple is prominent, the voice breaks, the hair embolism occurs, the hair grows in the axillary fossa. By the age of 16, the growth of the mustache and beard is observed, the musculoskeletal system is strengthened, the spermatozoa are formed in the testicles. There are nocturnal spontaneous ejaculations - pollutions.

    In early childhood, the idea of ​​your own femininity or male role is still very vague, uncertain. But with the onset of menstruation, the girl should know that from now on, pregnancy becomes possible. It must be clear to her how dangerous it would be for her now. And the boy should know that with the advent of pollutions, nature is helping him, but for all other parameters, besides biological, he is not yet a man.

    The teenager is characterized by instability of mood, a combination of contradictory features - swagger and shyness, the desire for independence and increased suggestibility. His main concern is to prove to himself and everyone around him that he is no longer a child, that everything that is accessible to an adult should be allowed to him and accessible. If the teenager does not meet the understanding of the house, is not used to discuss the problems that concern him here, he goes to the street, to the company where he feels at ease and relaxed. In these groups, under the influence of senior leaders, very often undesirable standards of male and female behavior are formed, and the suggestibility of the adolescent, his exposure to environmental influences, creates a fertile ground for the formation of sexual disorders.

    Consider the formation of libido in stages: platonic, erotic and sexual.

    The platonic stage of libido is characterized by the presence of a pronounced emotional component, which has an elevated, romantic character. At this stage, it is enough to jointly prepare lessons, study at one desk, study in one group, just attention from the object of love. At this age, same-sex groups and collectives begin to disintegrate. The meaning of the platonic stage is very great: it is the platonic component that elevates the physiological instinct to truly human love. When reducing the platonic component, there is a danger of slipping into primitive lust. The characteristic features of this stage are the high intensity of feelings with elements of voluptuous tragedy, the conviction of the uniqueness of the eternity of the experience, self-denial and sacrifice. With harmonious development, individual elements of erotic fantasy( desire to remain alone, the desire for touch and caresses), which then grow, begin to expand into platonic love, their range expands, and they occupy a significant part of the free time of the teenager.

    The platonic stage of libido is characterized by the presence of a pronounced emotional component, which has an elevated, romantic character. One day the young man hears how the sweetest and tenderest music begins to sound in his heart. This is the awakening of youth, the triumphant call of being, the blooming nature of man. This is the first, pure, youthful love. Youthful love needs protection, sympathy, understanding, in a mild, favorable climate. And when her charming blush begins to color faces, this should be a signal to others, it should sound like a warning dictated by the care of a minor: attention, love is born!

    Generally platonic love is one of the following: a) friendship of sexually impotent people deprived of sexual desire;b) undivided love with a natural unwillingness to have intimate contacts with one of the parties;c) strong mutual love in the absence of an objective possibility of rapprochement;d) love in the presence of both or one of the loving prejudices, excluding the satisfaction of sexual desire.

    The erotic stage of libido is characterized by the emergence of an interest in the intimate side of the relationship between the sexes, erotic literature. In the works of art, dating scenes, explanations in love, etc. become attractive. Even descriptions in which the adult person does not find a hint of sexuality, excite the teenager, push to erotic fantasies. At the erotic stage, the realization of attraction is more often without orgasm, which in terms of biological development is progressive, as it pushes.to further action, forcing the transition to the sexual stage. Along with this, there are forms of erotic realization, reinforced by orgasm( petting).Under the petting it is customary to understand all sorts of love caresses that cause a sharp excitement, and sometimes leading both partners or one of them to orgasm.

    In the erotic stage, sexual fantasy is closely intertwined, and it is impossible to draw a clear line between the erotic and sexual stages of libido formation.

    Sexual stage of libido proceeds against the background of specific emotions of the lower order, which, arising during puberty, then undergo constant stimulation with products of external secretion. Changes occurring in pubertal period often reach such high tension that they are accompanied by a number of uncontrolled and involuntary phenomena( spontaneous erections with pronounced sexual arousal, masturbatory excesses).

    The period of the onset of sexuality is characterized by the final formation of the reproductive system with the stable maturation of spermatozoa. The growth of bone and the development of the muscular system in this period are coming to an end. Based on the individual characteristics of temperament and character, a person is formed. The grafted dogmas and their position in the family and society are being reconsidered, their own worldview is developing, higher emotions are developing, a social image and social consciousness are formed, an adequate assessment of their abilities.

    Sexual feeling is manifested by amorousness, desire for courtship, the onset of sexual activity, masturbation practice, a combination of sexual excesses with periods of withdrawal. Marriage at this age can be recommended in the event that the youth reaches full psychological and social maturity, that is, will be able to ensure the material well-being of his family.

    IM Sechenov points out that sexual love has three natural phases of development. First, a young man and a girl create an abstract ideal for themselves. This is actually a necessary prerequisite for individual love, longing in the realm of dreams. A young man, as if in a dream, sees the image of a "princess" who shines in the sky, the girl waits day and night for her knight. But here comes the long-awaited moment. A young man suddenly meets a woman who really is very much like his perfect ideal.

    The second phase is a phase of passion and ardent feelings."And then the man begins to enjoy his ideal. His passion flares up even more vividly, brighter, because the place of dark, vague sexual strivings replaces now the vivid, tremulous feelings of love, and the woman herself is in an unprecedented brilliance. "

    The months pass, years. A violent, fiery passion inevitably loses its former strength even in "happy" cases, when a man and a woman are perfectly suited to each other. Love is in the third phase of its development. Feelings become more calm.

    "Why is this?- writes Sechenov.- Yes, on the basis of the law, according to which the brightness of passion is supported only by the variability of the passionate image. In a year, two, in life, very close to each other, the amount of possible changes on both sides long ago was exhausted and the brightness of passion disappeared. Love, however, has not been destroyed: from the frequent repetition of the reflex, in which the mental content is the representation of the mistress with those or others or all of its properties, her image is combined, so to speak, with all the movements of the lover's soul, and she has become really half of himself. This love is habitual - friendship. "

    The period of mature sexuality( 26-55 years) is characterized by a regular sex life with a regular partner, entering the band of conditioned-physiological rhythm( UFR) of sexual activity: 2-3 sexual intercourse a week.

    The involutionary period( 51-70 years) is characterized by a decrease in sexual activity and a weakening of interest in the sexual sphere, combined with regression of the libido to the level of erotic and then platonic stage.