Advantages of continued deficiencies.

The man has a loud voice. In a chamber setting, many people endure it with difficulty - a flaw. But this also enables a person to lecture without a microphone - dignity. The wife does not very carefully set the house clean - lack;but she is concerned about the development of the child, to whom she reads books more than those mothers who bring cleanliness-dignity.

All of the above can be aphoristically summed up as follows:

TO NOT DISAPPEAR, DO NOT BE CHARGED.

This is not for a redword. It will be necessary to realize that the new variant of marriage will be all the same, the proportions in the ratio of merits and demerits will remain approximately

the same. Although, so to speak, the quality of the composition will be slightly different. This is most often realized with the acquisition of experience in marriages. This takes a large part of life. It is useful here to recall the dictum attributed to the Iron Chancellor Bismarck: only on their own mistakes only fools learn. Yes, the smart learn not only on their own mistakes, but also on the mistakes of friends, on the experience of literary heroes, on the experience of other people, generalized psychologists. Just to study these mistakes of other people is troublesome. The mistakes of history are even more troublesome and even more tragic. It seems that it was enough Robespierre that Lenin did not appear. .. And many revolutionaries, it seems, knew that the revolution was devouring its children. The great author of philosophical sociology, psychologist Anatole France, also warned of the same in the novel "The Gods Want".France was not a revolutionary, a contemplative, and only. .. But how did he contemplate Maybe, at least on an interpersonal level on other people's mistakes one can learn?. .

I also call for this. And I advise you to honor your fate and the fate of those whom you "tamed", and therefore, according to another great writer, the philosophical sociologist, psychologist-humanist-Antoine de Saint-Exupery, you are responsible for them.

Pre-marital communication, in my opinion, should be spent not only on sexual pleasures( although here, too, the pros and cons are revealed).But also for detailed interviewing each other on important life issues. For example, it would be nice to talk about how many children should be in the family, how to allocate the future family budget, where to spend vacations. .. Yes, whether important for future life together are topics such as priorities in acquiring knowledge. Or in shopping. ..

When we discussed the curves of charm and frustration, we meant the bride and groom, husband and wife, father and mother. .. But similar patterns of mutual knowledge and mutual understanding of people are also observed in the interpersonal relations of friends, employees, mother-in-law andand mother-in-law. .. They are more visible and more significant in matrimony

Do not miss such an important detail as well Having realized that at an unconscious level I create my illusory image with the predominance of pluses, it makes sense not to hide this in itself,that can be regarded as a minus.after all, if it opens up in a stormy sea, on which a mariner's boat is sailing, so it is worth exploring in oneself these disadvantages, they can be uncovered by anonymous

nimous poll of people you communicate with. I for other purposes, but regularly conduct such an anonymous poll inI put before my students questions about the comprehensibility of the presentation, the novelty of the material being taught, the interest in my creative development, the objectivity of my attitude towards my opponents, my tactfulness towards the audience, and the justice of my demands. Students write their views without fear - I will not do a graphological examination. In working with the next groups, I either change, or tell them the polls( if I consider it inappropriate to change something in my communication with students) and explain my position. So I advise future spouses to inform each other about what is fundamentally important for you in your value orientations, if they can, in your opinion, become a stumbling block. For the preparation of a minus can be an excessively sharp denial of alcoholic beverages. For another - dislike for costly flowers. And for the third - "if they do not let me sleep, then I bite."

Well, if we learned about a person close to us, something negative for us? How to proceed?

First, remember that in other people there will be another negative and with chtoeto still have to put up, not to be alone. And secondly, let us listen to the deep thought of the founder of conflictology Georg Simmel. He expressed himself so panoramic about the relations of close people that I wrote it out separately in large print and placed under the glass in the frame. I advise everyone to do the same. Better yet - hang in a prominent place, put on bookmarks in books or learn by heart.

"People who have much in common, often much worse and more unjustly offend each other than completely alien. Because their community is something self-evident, and therefore not it, and what is at the moment differentiates them, determines the positions to each other. At that general that is in their attitudes, the smallest antagonism gets the greater value, than between people strangers. Strangers are initially focused on possible differences. Hence the tragedy of trifles, because of which there are completely different people coming up to each other. "

Given the unconditional importance of G. Simmel's assertions, one must say the following: