The study of compatibility levels in a young family

The problem of sustainability of marriages and marital relations is now attracting increasing attention of scientists. At the same time, an important area of ​​research is the study of one of the two internal factors of the stability of marriage - marital compatibility.

Based on the model of the multilevel structure of family-marriage relations, we can talk about the compatibility of the spouses at each level, that is, about psychophysiological, psychological, socio-psychological and socio-cultural compatibility. Given the stage nature of the development of the family, it can be assumed as a hypothesis that compatibility at each of the levels has specific characteristics, depending on which stage of development of the family. The definition of these features is necessary for the development of further programs for studying family-marriage relations, practical recommendations for stabilizing the family, and conducting preventive work on the psychological preparation of young people for family life.

Our study, carried out as part of a comprehensive program to study the psychological aspects of family-marriage relations, developed by the Laboratory of differential psychology. BG Anan'eva NIIKSI LGU, was designed to test the hypothesis of the specificity of matrimonial compatibility at different stages of development of a young family and, if the hypothesis is confirmed, the definition of compatibility features at three levels: psychological, socio-psychological and sociocultural. According to the working definition, a young family was considered to be a family whose partner experience did not exceed three years, and the age of the couple was 25 years. It was taken into account that in its development a young family can go through several stages. First of all, this is the period of preparation for marriage. Borders of this stage were, on the one hand, the submission of an application to the Civil Registry Office about the desire to marry, and on the other hand, the official registration of marriage by the registry office. After the first stage, the development of family relations can go along the path of their consolidation, stabilization and development( the stage of a prosperous newlywed) or along the path of their disorganization, mismatch, ultimately leading to a decision to dissolve the marriage( the stage of conflict marriage).

In addition to the main goal of the study, we were faced with the task of highlighting some issues of choosing a marriage partner, in particular, the influence of the parent family on this process.

METHODOLOGY

In accordance with the selected stages of development of the young family, three samples were identified, characterizing each of the stages.

1. Couples who have submitted applications for the desire to marry and who have appeared for official registration. A total of 20 couples were examined. In the future, the persons of this sample will be called marrying.

2. Couples who are officially married, have a marriage experience of up to three years, whose family relationships are characterized as safe, stable, i.e., without significant conflicts that could lead to a decision on divorce. This sample included 19 pairs. In the future - happy families.

3. Couples who are officially married, have a marriage experience of up to three years and come to a decision to terminate the marriage for reasons that are psychological( dissimilarity of characters, misunderstanding each other, loss of interest in a partner, etc.).This sample consisted of 13 pairs. Persons of this sample will be called conflict young people.

All the examined persons are characterized by an approximate homogeneity in age( from 21 to 25 years), education i to the finished higher and higher) and the period of pre-marital acquaintance( from 4 months to a year).In addition, the faces of the second in the fetal sampling have approximately equal years of married life( from one to three years).

Based on the existing understanding of the structure of each of the compatibility levels, the following techniques were used to study them.

Psychological level of compatibility. To study the character direction of the interpersonal behavior of individuals, the method proposed by l Leary( T. Leary) and modified by Yu. A. Reshetnyak was used. The last one proposes a system of formalized thesauri, the various relations of which allow one to draw conclusions about a number of variables characterizing both the married couple in general and each of the partners separately. Each of the surveyed( 1st and 2nd samples) evaluated three persons: himself, his partner and his partner's ideal. In the analysis, some of the proposed thesauri were used: character similarity, actual awareness of the partner, practical marital potential, psychological satisfaction.

Socio-psychological level of compatibility was studied using the methodology "Role expectations and claims in marriage", developed by A. Volkova. This method allows you to find out the attitudes of people in the distribution of family functions and on this basis to determine the importance of various family values: sexual intercourse, the organization of leisure as self-actualization and development of the individual, household services, birth and upbringing of children, extra-family social activity and psychotherapeuticrelations, external attractiveness of the spouse.

Sociocultural level of compatibility was studied using the "Value Orientation" technique developed by Rokic and adapted by A. Gostautas, A. Semenov and V. A. Yadov. The methodology is oriented to obtaining a hierarchy of vital goals( the so-called terminal values) and a hierarchy of means of achieving them( instrumental values).

To identify the features of the choice of the marriage partner, the technique proposed by J. Kelly was used to identify the cognitive processes characteristic of a particular person, and also to determine the degree of similarity of different individuals, and we modified it for the purposes of the study. The essence of the technique is that the subject needs to compare the three persons proposed to him on a significant, on his( test) look, a sign so that this characteristic is characteristic of two of the proposed three persons and was absent in the third. Then, according to the selected feature, it is necessary to compare all other persons, noting for them the presence or absence of this feature. The operation is repeated with the next three persons and the next sign.

In the mathematical processing of experimental data, standard procedures for performing correlation and taxonomic analysis were used, calculating the rank correlation coefficient of C. Spearman, the concordance coefficient of M. Kendall and Smith, and the similarity factor calculated by the Jacquard formula.

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION

When processing the experimental data obtained during the study of the psychological level of compatibility, 14 significant correlations between individual thesauri have been identified: seven - for those entering into marriage( 6 of them at a significance level of 5% and one - 1%) andseven - in a successful newlywed couple( of them 3 at a significance level of 1% and 4 - 5%).Let us dwell on the analysis and interpretation of the most interesting connections.

1. A significant correlation has been obtained between the similarity of the partners' characters and the female awareness of the husband to both the intruder and the married. We can assume that if partners are characterized by the similarity of the characters, then women adequately assess men and, consequently, their opinion about the nature of the partner in counseling in this case can be trusted more. Most likely, this connection can be explained by the fact that women, as a rule,

are more focused on the emotional and communicative component, and due to this, they are well and subtly understanding the feelings, emotional conditions of the partner, thereby gaining additional information about the nature and structure of the partner's personalityinteraction.

2. A significant link exists between the female factual knowledge of the partner and the partners' mutual values. And those who enter into marriage, and those who are married, the better a woman knows a man, the more adequately partners evaluate each other. Given the previous correlation, we can assume that the similarity in the pair's mutual values ​​is achieved due to a more accurate perception of the husband by his wife.

3. There is a relationship between psychological satisfaction with marriage and the similarity of characters with those marrying. There is no similar relationship among married people, and therefore we can assume that when a family is created, men are more satisfied if the wife is similar in nature, but in the future such similarity already loses its significance and does not affect the psychological satisfaction of the husband.

4. The most significant relationship among married people is recorded between the psychological satisfaction of the woman and the partners' self-assessments. And although the rank correlation coefficient does not give the direction of communication, we believe that it is more likely to be said that the closer the ideal of the husband to the real partner, the closer the partners' self-esteem.

5. The relationship between the similarity of the partners' characters and their actual knowledge of the partner, which is absent from the marrying, is found in married persons. Since the married persons surveyed by us are characterized by well-being and high satisfaction with relations, it can be assumed that with the accumulation of experience of successful married life, men begin to better understand partners with a similar nature. Obviously, this is due to the expansion of spheres of significant interactions.

6. The relationship between the actual informed partners of each other, which is absent from the marrying, has been revealed. It is necessary to think that this is a natural process: with the accumulation of the experience of marital life, the knowledge of partners about each other increases. In this case, the more and deeper the husband finds out his wife, the stronger his wife's need to know her husband, and vice versa. In conflict families, this trend reaches its extremely negative limit - accumulating observations of the negative traits of a partner's character and using them as nits.

7. The psychological satisfaction of partners is significantly related to married partners. Since families are prosperous, this relationship is clear: the more spouses are satisfied with each other, the greater the welfare of their family relations in general.

8. Practical marriage potential, calculated as a ratio of the partner's partner's values ​​and partners' peer evaluations, makes it possible to determine the presence of centripetal or centrifugal forces between partners in a pair. If the similarity of ideal partners is higher than their similarity in real perception of each other, then the forces working in such an association can be considered positive. Indeed, in both marrying and well-off newlyweds, the practical marital potential negatively correlates with the partners' mutual values ​​and positively - with the partner's partner's values. All this allows us to conclude that the indicator of practical marriage potential can really act as a good indicator of the presence of attractive or repulsive forces in a married couple on the basis of their partner's partner's values.

Summarizing all of the above, we can draw the following conclusions on the study of the psychological level of compatibility:

1) the technique modified by Yu. A. Reshetnyak using formalized thesauri is a good diagnostic tool for studying the characteristics of interpersonal relationships in the family( i.e.,compatibility);

2) with the similarity of the characters of partners in a couple, women more adequately assess their partner;

3) the psychological satisfaction of men entering into marriage is higher if the partners' characters are similar;

4) in well-to-do families, the psychological satisfaction of one of the partners is closely related to the psychological satisfaction of the other;

5) knowledge of the characteristics of the spouses allows to predict the development of their further relations.

When studying one of the indicators of the socio-psychological level of compatibility - intra-family values ​​- the persons marrying, the happy newlyweds and couples with the conflict in the sphere of family relations were examined. Determination of the consistency of opinions within each selected group( men and women in each sample separately - a total of 6 groups) was carried out on the basis of the calculation of the concordance coefficients. In five of the six groups, these rates were significant at 0.1%: among women entering into marriage( Kc = 0.402);women who are in a happy marriage( KK = 0.277);women in conflict pairs( KK = 0.355);of men entering into marriage( Кк = 0,439), and men in conflict pairs( Кк = 0,517).For men who are married, the consistency coefficient was significant at the significance level of 1%( Kc = 0.169).When analyzing these data, it was concluded that there were large individual variations in the structure of family values ​​in the group of well-off newlyweds in comparison with the other two samples. So, with the accumulation of the married life experience, there is a transition from a general, to some extent, ideally typical family values ​​structure( for those marrying), since there is no experience of living together, more individualization of it in connection with the already concrete, real way of family life,relationships between partners and the distribution of family functions.

To calculate correlation between family values ​​of different groups of three samples, 15 Spearman coefficients were calculated: the hierarchies of intra-family values ​​of individual groups were compared. Significant differences between them were not revealed either in connection with the degree of well-being of family relations, nor in connection with the experience of married life, nor depending on the sexual characteristics of the spouses. Therefore, we will dwell only on possible tendencies to change the hierarchy of family values, which in future studies can be regarded as verifiable hypotheses. Among women, these tendencies are:

1) underestimation of marital sexual intercourse compared to those who are in a happy marriage and conflict families;

2) the fall in the significance of the value of "external social activity";it is most significant among those who enter into marriage, the least in conflict families;those who are in a happy marriage occupy an intermediate position;

3) underestimation of the marriageable values ​​of the birth and upbringing of children compared to the other two groups that evaluate it equally high;

4) higher evaluation of the psychotherapeutic role of family relationships in conflict families compared to the remaining two groups.

For male groups, the following trends can be assumed:

1) a lower estimate of such an important value as "parenting" of those who are in a happy marriage compared to the other two groups;

2) the decline in the importance of household relations consistently from those who marry to those who have a happy marriage and then to conflict families;

3) the consistent increase in the importance of sexual relations from those who marry conflict families;those who are in a happy marriage occupy an intermediate position;

4) the growing importance of the value of "external social activity" from marrying conflict families and then to those who have a happy marriage.

Comparison of the hierarchy of family values ​​of all men with the hierarchy of values ​​of women shows that, despite the absence of significant differences between them( R = 0.969, significant at 1%), women in first place in importance put the value of "leisure organization as a sphere of self-realization and developmentpersonality ", and the second -" birth "and the upbringing of children."Men, on the contrary, put first the value of "the birth and upbringing of children," and the second - "the organization of leisure as a sphere of self-realization and personal development."Taking into account the data obtained in the study of VA Sysenko, when 36.4% of married women interviewed indicated that they were most dissatisfied with their husbands' ability to organize family rest and leisure, we assume that in families where husbandsdo not know how high the value of this value is for a wife, this can be one of the real causes of conflicts at the socio-psychological level. In other respects, the hierarchy of family values ​​of men and women coincides and looks as follows: the third place is occupied by the value of "social activity external to the family", followed by "emotional-therapeutic communication", "household services", "intimate communication", "external attractiveness of the spouse. "We believe that the obtained hierarchy of family values ​​can be considered as characteristic of young spouses. Sharp deviations from it will show the point of the most possible or existing conflict at the socio-psychological level of compatibility of spouses.

In the study of the socio-cultural level of compatibility, each of the two samples surveyed( surveyed by successful newlyweds and married) was divided into two groups on the basis of gender, and each group studied life goals, or terminal( T), and means of achievinglife goals, instrumental values ​​(I), with the calculation of the concordance( coherence) coefficient - Kk Thus, only eight KK were found, all of them turned out to be at the significance level of 0.1%, which allows us to speak aboutWe hypothesized that with a transition from one stage of development to another, young spouses undergo a significant reorientation of both G-values ​​and I-values, which was verified on the basis of finding the Spearman correlation coefficient between the results of the enteringin marriage and the newlyweds. The calculated coefficients turned out to be insignificant both for T-values ​​(-0,035) and for I-values ​​(R = 0.085).Consequently, indeed, the faces of each of the samples are oriented to different values ​​and a qualitative analysis of the hierarchy of values ​​is permissible.

A qualitative analysis of T-values ​​for the subjects surveyed for each sample showed that those who marry primarily focus on values ​​such as "happy family life", "love", "having good and faithful friends", "health"( values ​​are locatedin order of falling importance).This situation is natural and understandable. The dominant motive of the activity is the creation of a family, and hence the high importance of it and those values ​​that are directly or indirectly associated with it. The value of "the presence of good and faithful friends" is of great importance, evidently due to the process of nuclearization of the family, its isolation. The loss of the modern family of widely branched family ties leads to the fact that their place is occupied by comradely and friendly ties. In addition, based on the high importance of the value of "health", it can be assumed that mental and physical health is an essential part of a successful marriage at the stage of forming family relations. Of course, such a conclusion requires further experimental verification, but it can be considered as a hypothesis. The least important values ​​for those entering into marriage are "financially secure life", "life wisdom", "freedom as independence in judgments and actions" and "pleasures"( listed in order of importance fall).We can assume that these values ​​are not decisive in understanding the successful marriage of people starting to create a family. And the last two values ​​act most likely even as negative, alternative to a successful marriage.

In the group of successful newlyweds the most important T-values ​​are "pleasures", "interesting work", "knowledge", "happy family life"( listed in order of falling importance).And the value of "love" is shifted to the 10th place in comparison with the second in the previous sample. The analysis of values ​​shows that in the case of successful newlyweds, the values ​​that are more personal, whose satisfaction is important primarily for the individual( the first three values) go to the first places. For those who enter into marriage values ​​are more altruistic. In addition, a reorientation from the family to work is noticeable, although the former remains a rather significant value. It is also important to note that in this sample, "life wisdom"( 7th place versus 14th for marrying) and "independence as independence in judgments and assessments"( 6th place versus 14th in marriage) have a much higher degree of significanceth).We can assume that it is the experience of family life that increases the value of these values. The least important were such values ​​as "public recognition", "health", "self-confidence".Particularly interesting is the significant shift in the importance of the last two;from the 4th place to those who marry at the 15th from married - for the first and from the 7th place to the 18th - for the second. Most likely, health at this stage of development of a young family is no longer seen as a necessary component of a prosperous life, but acts in its direct quality. Reducing the importance of such a value as "self-confidence" can be explained by the fact that with the experience of family life( note even a successful family life) a new stage of searching for oneself, its self-determination is likely at a qualitatively new level. We believe that this is mainly due to the adaptation process in relation to each other that characterizes the stage of a young family. With the experience of family life, the importance and value of "public recognition" diminishes( although not particularly strongly: 11th place for those entering into marriage and 17th for married ones).And this, too, obviously is a consequence of the process of adaptation: the family life is being established, the spouses are trying to get approval from the partner, there is no need for approval from the outside. It can be assumed that in the subsequent stages of family development, with the end of the adaptation process, the importance of this value will increase.

The hierarchy of the location of the instrumental values ​​shows that the most significant in the marriages are "honesty", "sensitivity", "responsibility", "cheerfulness"( listed in order of importance fall).Proceeding from the three-component structure of interpersonal interaction offered by a number of psychologists, which includes the behavioral, gnostic and affective components, it can be said that the latter is the dominant one for those who marry. It includes such values ​​as "sensitivity" and "cheerfulness" and partly "honesty", ie, three of the four most important values. The most important among married people are "efficiency in business", "education", "sensitivity" and "independence"( listed in order of importance decrease).Here, values ​​that can be attributed to the gnostic and behavioral components of interaction( "education", "efficiency in deeds") come to the forefront. True, "sensitivity"( an affective component) continues to be highly valued, but it is possible to talk about changing the leading components of interpersonal relationships. It seems interesting to note the movement in the hierarchy of instrumental values."Honesty" and "cheerfulness"( respectively, the 1st and 4th places for those entering into marriage) turn out to be at the 15th and 16th places( and these values ​​can be interpreted as indicators of the affective component that servesone more proof of the provision on the change of the interaction components).

Testing the assumption that life values ​​differ in relation to the sexual characteristics of people has shown that there is a significant relationship between the terminal values ​​of men and women( R = 0.969, significant at 1%), and between instrumental values ​​(R = 0.956, is significant at the level of 1%).Therefore, it is not possible to talk about gender differences in the structure of life values.

As a result, we can draw the following conclusions relating to the socio-cultural level of compatibility:

1) when moving from one stage of development of a young family to another, partners have a significant reorientation of values;

2) Qualitatively, the values ​​of those entering into marriage are more altruistic than those of married people;the latter are dominated by values ​​that are more egocentric;

3) if the marrying component of the interpersonal interaction is affective, then those who are married - behavioral and cognitive;

4) the structure of values, both terminal and instrumental, for men and women has no significant differences;

5) for persons entering into marriage, the values ​​have a clear family-household orientation;in the case of well-off newly-married couples, the values ​​have an orientation, balanced for work and family, characterized by a sexual orientation.