How to turn rivalry into help.

One way in which a child overcomes jealousy toward a younger brother or sister is because he behaves not as a child, but as an adult, as a "third parent".Of course, if the baby annoys him, he will behave like an irritated parent. But if he feels calm and confident, he will act like a kind parent who teaches the baby how to do everything, gives him toys, wants to help in his bathing, feeding and changing clothes, comforts when the baby cries, protects him from dangers. Even without the help of his parents, he tries to get used to his parental responsibilities. But parents can help him if they tell him how he can be useful, and show how his help is appreciated. By the way, the mother of twins told me that she desperately needed help and was amazed at how much she helped her.three-year-old daughter. Even a small child can bring a bath towel, a diaper or a bottle from the refrigerator. He can pretend that he "looks after" the baby when the mother leaves.

The kid almost always wants to hold the newborn, and the mother is usually afraid that he will drop it. But if the child is sitting on the floor( on a carpet or blanket), or in a deep armchair, or in the middle of the parent's bed, there is not much risk, even if he really drops the baby.

So parents can help a child translate a hostile feeling into a desire and willingness to help and genuine altruism.

Usually, the first child is especially strongly affected by the appearance of a new family member, because he is accustomed to be in the center of attention and receive all parental love without sharing it with anyone. The next child does not need to be torn between wanting to become an infant or parent when a new family member appears. He understands that he remains one of the children, as he always was. It seems to me that the first-born usually perceive themselves as parents, explains their passion for such professions as a teacher, a social worker, a doctor, the essence of which is concern for others. First-borns also become wonderful caring parents.