How to implement a weaning

Weaning has two aspects - not to give the breast and replace it with other food. While you gradually pass to the fact that you give your breasts less and less often, introduce solid foods, other types of milk and other forms of emotional recharging. Here's how to do it.

Separate gradually

You can not wean from the chest, resorting to separation - sending the child somewhere. Sudden separation from the mother's breast and with the mother itself can simultaneously be a double stress, too strong for a small child. The key to success in weaning is gradualness. Some mothers deliberately begin to miss the least favorite feedings, for example, in the middle of the morning, when both mom and baby would walk to the park with great pleasure, or read a book, or had a bite. Other mothers find that they do exactly this without even planning. It just happens by itself. After a while, they make another substitution, then another, or intentionally, or as folds, so that after a month( and months) they discover that there are only one or two left, usually before the day and before bedtime.(From article 15 "Parental Nights", you will learn how to refrain from feeding before bed.)

A time-tested method of weaning "do not offer and do not give up" works for most mothers and children. To wean from the chest means to let go, not to throw it away. Minimize the situations that contribute to breastfeeding( for example, do not sit in a familiar, inviting rocking chair), but be open in those periods of the day when the child needs it. It is perfectly normal that when children naturally move from one breast to another, they use the mother as their home base for refilling with nutrients and positive emotions. Be ready to give up your position for a couple of steps if you see negative behavior( hysteria, anger, sadness) that is meant to tell you that you are moving too fast. During illness, the frequency of breastfeeding increases sharply and the chest becomes an important instrument of comfort, as well as the supplier of much-needed specific antibodies.

Be ready for "regression" of

Between eighteen months and two years, a child may occasionally have a maroon-feeding attack, as if he returned again during the newborn period. That's why. When your fast-moving researcher encounters new situations, he often needs to visit the home station for a little encouragement to make sure that there is nothing wrong with continuing to explore an unfamiliar territory. Breasts, as a well-known friend in the crowd of strangers, helps the child to move forward, from the acquaintance to the stranger, from dependence to independence. The problem can arise here if the mother is too busy to adjust to these short but frequent sub-stations. The child can then begin to insist on long, hourly feedings, as if he understands that when he manages to drag you to where he needs you, it's better to hold your arms and legs tighter so that you do not run away again.

There is nothing to worry about in the word "no"

Breastfeeding their one-year-old children, some mothers are trapped in the contract without the right to leave it. The phrase "do not offer and do not refuse" they understand as "you can not say no."There are many creative ways to say no that will not be considered as "Mom's heart", but rather as "Mom wants to help me find a way to be pleased."

Develop creative alternatives to

If you are not afraid of the idea of ​​giving your child himself to manage excommunication, be aware that he may be two or three years old( or more if you have allergies in your family) before hedecides to leave the breast. Although this is not the norm in our society, those children who need to continue breastfeeding definitely benefit immensely. On the other hand, if you feel that it's time to wean( the sign of this is that you are chronically afraid of the idea of ​​continuing breastfeeding), you can take the initiative in their hands.

If your child does not want to leave the chest, imagine what happens in his brain. In his theory of child development, which we call the deep groove theory, , we represent developing memory as a large, clean phonograph record;experience leaves furrows on this plate. The furrow of breastfeeding is probably one of the deepest that will ever appear in your child's memory, which is why he often returns to it until other grooves are engraved on the plate of his memory. Your goal is to contribute in every way to the appearance of these other furrows at a speed that would not be too fast for your child and too slow for you. One key to solving this problem is to enthrall your child. Nothing causes such a strong desire to take a breast, like boredom. Then, minimize the scenes that remind the child of breastfeeding. Many mothers complain: "As soon as I sit in the rocking chair, it immediately flies."Be prepared for the fact that feeding before day and night sleep will stay with you the longest. Many children like to be lulled by their breasts, even when they are a year old or even two years old. When one of you( or both) is ready to give up breast as the main sleeping pill, you will have to find something equally convincing. By this time you should already have a ritual of going to bed, night or day, including soothing activities. To read at night a fairy tale( again and again), to roll in a bag around the house, saying good night to everyone and everything, or to stroke the backrest to the sounds of a lullaby - this may be the end of the standard sequence of healthful delicacies, hygienic water procedures and putting on pajamas.

Stormy physical activity in the earlier hours sets your baby on the appearance of a short-haired man( a dreamlike character that brings a dream.) - Note. You can resort to the following tranquilizing techniques: turn off the child's exciting television programs, turn on relaxing music, mute the light or curtain the windows. Instead of reading the fairy tale for the night, you can sit down together and look at the video of a classic calm cartoon, such as "Winnie the Pooh."Favorite stories in our house are stories about the time when we ourselves were small children( or invent a story with the most beloved fashionable animated hero of your child), in which many lulling repetitions and calculations are woven. The main feature of all these rituals is that the father or someone else, besides the mother, can be trusted to put the child to bed. And do not forget, if your child did not have time to communicate with his father, he will resist sleeping just because he missed his dad. So, fathers, try not to deprive your child of much needed time for communication.

Finally, it will be easier to wean from the breast if you gradually come up with creative alternatives to breastfeeding in those situations where the child needs to be reassured, to regret. If you automatically slip the chest every time a child screams or grieves in his life( because it helps so well), your child will be more difficult to calm down in other ways when he gets older, and it will be harder for you to get out of the quagmire, so to speak, of your limited calming skills. Tales, toys, games, songs, walks, crafts - perhaps, this is exactly what you need. Think of weaning as the extension of of your relationship with the child, and not the loss of them. As in everything related to the parent relationship, there must be an equilibrium. Some mothers are too attached to their children, so that all their relationships revolve around breastfeeding. As a result, they come to the conclusion that their children know only one form of building relationships. If you begin to feel that breastfeeding is bothering you, it's time to gradually give it up and consider other forms of communication with the child. As you gain more and more interaction with your child as an alternative to breastfeeding, your child will gradually learn to be happy with them and in fact even prefer this substitute.

Our experience is our recommendations

The life of a child is a series of transitions: the transition from your womb to the world, the transition from your breast to independent feeding, the transition from your bed to a separate baby cot and the transition from your home to school. The speed with which children move from unity to independence must be respected on all these transitional boundaries. If the child is rushed to go through all this relationship ahead of time, the risk of of a premature withdrawal syndrome increases: , aggression, constant hysterical behavior, anxious clinging to a nanny and a decrease in the ability to form deep and more intimate relationships. We investigated the long-term effect of timely weaning from thousands of children and found that the children who left the breast in time:

• are more independent;

• are drawn more towards people, not things;

• easier to discipline;

• show less anger;

• emit trust.

Ideally, try to give your child the best physical, emotional and mental beginning - a gradual and timely weaning. In the normal course of the transition from unity to separation, it is not the mother who takes the child from her breast, but the child grows up and leaves the mother's breast. The most self-confident, independent and happy children that we saw in our long years of watching children and studying the long-term effects of long-term breastfeeding are those children who were not weaned before their time came.