The child goes to the hospital
How to help your child. There is no perfect way to put a child in a hospital. The child is sick, and it worries parents.
Between a year and three the child is most afraid of separation from parents. He feels like he is losing them forever - when he leaves them for the first time and at the end of each visit. Between visits he can be depressed and alarmed. When parents first visit him, he can meet them silently and do not say hello.
After three years the child is more scared what will be done to him, scare the pain and bodily wounds. Parents should not be assured that the hospital is a wonderful place, because if something unpleasant happens there, the child will lose faith in the parents. On the other hand, if you explain to him all the bad things that he can do there, he will suffer more from expectations than from the treatment itself.
The most important thing is for parents to look calm and confident, but without falsehood. If only the child was not yet
in the hospital, he anxiously tries to imagine what it will be like, and is afraid of the worst. Parents can reassure him by describing in general terms life in the hospital, and then discussing with him whether it will hurt very much or not. You can tell that in the mornings a nurse will wake him up and wash him right in bed, that the food will be brought on trays to the bed, that he will have time to play, that he will have to use the pot, and not go to the toilet, explain how you can call the nurse orsomebody. Tell us about the days of the visit and the fact that there will be other children in the ward with whom you can play.
If he is in a separate room, take together toys and books that he will take with him and look for a small radio receiver silt borrow it from friends. The child will be interested in the button of an electric bell for a call of the sister.
If he is to remove tonsils, tell him about the mask that will be put on his nose, and how he will breathe through it until he falls asleep;how he will wake up in an hour and find out that his throat hurts( as in the last winter, when his tonsils were inflamed);that you will be with him, when he wakes up( if that's true), or you come to pick it up the next day.
Let him express his fears. Much more important than your story, give the child the opportunity to ask you and tell you what he thinks. Little children look at the world in such a way that the adult never comes to mind. First of all, they usually think that they will be operated on or taken to the hospital because they behaved badly - they did not wear galoshes, or did not stay in bed when they were told, or were angry with other family members. They can imagine that they will have a throat cut to remove the tonsils, or cut off the nose to get to the adenoids. Because of anxiety and misunderstandings about the difference between boys and girls, children, especially between three and six years, are subconsciously afraid that an additional operation will be performed on their genitals, especially if they feel guilty in masturbation. Help the child ask questions, be prepared for the most unusual fears and try to dispel them.
Let him know in advance. If you know for a few days or weeks that the child is to be placed and the hospital, the question arises when to tell him about it. If the child himself can not find out, I think it's better to wait and say this in a few days. It will not do him good if he worries for weeks. If a seven year old child is able to face the truth, especially if he is suspicious, you can tell him in a few weeks. Do not lie to a child at any age, if he asks, and do not entice a child into a hospital under any pretext.
If your child is undergoing surgery and you have the choice, discuss with your doctor about anesthesia and pain medication. The way a child perceives anesthesia depends on whether he is waiting for surgery with fear or not very worried. Usually, there is an anesthesiologist in the hospital who is especially skilful with children and dispels their fear. If you have the opportunity, the services of such an anesthesiologist will always be justified. In some cases, there is a choice between the various means that the doctor ponders, and this too has psychological implications for the child. Speaking in general, the child is less scared of gas than ether, which is unpleasant to inhale. The type of anesthesia that is injected through the enema through the anus even before the baby is in the operating room usually scares less, but from a medical point of view it is not always applicable. If several options are medically equivalent, you need to take into account the psychological factor.
Visiting a sick child in a hospital is associated with additional problems. The kind of parents reminds him how he missed them. He can cry when they leave, or all the time while they are with him. The parents have the impression that he is always so unhappy. In fact, young children surprisingly quickly adapt to stay in the hospital when they do not see their parents, even if they are sick and they are being treated with painful procedures. I do not want to say that parents should stay away. Even if his parents' visits are frustrating, the child at the same time draws in them a consciousness of confidence and security. The best that parents can do is to be cheerful and calm as soon as possible. If the parents sympathetic, full of pain expression, the child begins to worry.
The probability that the operation will cause emotional shock in a child is most severe in the first five years of life. This can cause a delay in the operation if the doctor believes that there is nowhere to hurry, especially if the child is nervous and is prone to nightmares.