Caring for your child

Twenty years ago, when I started pediatric practice, I already had an internship in the world's two most prestigious children's hospitals, and it seemed that I knew everything about the children. Our friends even often told my wife that she was very lucky to marry a pediatrician, to which Martha retorted like this: "He only knows about sick children."The first week of my pediatric practice was really a shock. My mothers asked me all sorts of questions that had nothing to do with medicine: "Maybe we should give the child

to cry?", "Will not we spoil her if we pick up too often?", "It's okay if we sleep togetherwith our child? ".I did not know the answer to any of these questions, but my parents trusted me as a specialist. These were not medical questions, but questions about the nature of the relationship with the child. I only knew how we acted with our own two children, but I did not consider myself a professional. Then I began to read all the books about caring for children just like you are now. The books made me completely confused. It seems that they are based on the personal opinion of the authors, and not on real research. Most authors lacked either common sense or scientific basis, or they preached what is fashionable-it does not matter whether it gives positive results or not.

I decided to turn to the real experts - experienced parents of children I observe, who are remarkably coping with their parental responsibilities;parents who, in my opinion, are in harmony with their children, able to read the signs given by their children, and reacting intuitively and adequately;parents who enjoy the fact that they are parents;parents, whose children are cheerful and remarkably develop. These parents and their children became my teachers, and I became a greedy listener and attentive observer, conducting careful records regarding their relationship style. I collected a whole list of "what works".My wife, Martha, worked with me in those early years( until our fourth child, Hayden) appeared and is still participating in the preparatory antenatal groups( in the school of future parents) as a consultant for the care of children and breastfeeding. My practice was our "visiting" research, so to speak, in the field, and at home we were waiting for our own growing laboratory.

After nine years, during which we listened and studied, and having three children of our own, we began to formulate some conclusions about the relationship between parents and children. From a huge variety of styles of communication, we selected those that worked for most parents almost always. We shared these concepts with parents who were counseled and used them in the process of educating their own eight children. Over the years, Martha and I changed our approach in order to adapt to our changing lifestyle, and also to meet the individual needs of our children( and we are still learning).In this small article you will find the most valuable of the fact that twenty years of practical pediatrics, care for eight children and counseling of thousands of parents took 20 years to master.

Do not expect to learn everything right away. Parent occupation is based on practical skills, and experience comes only after the application of their own hands. Our recommendations are just tips for getting you started. Based on these basics, you will grow and develop your own style, the one that best suits your child's temperament and the characteristics of your personality. In addition, it is impossible to select the style of relationship with the child exactly before he is born. You have no idea what the child will do to you and how radically he will change your attitude. Decide how much to hold the baby in your arms, what you will do when your child wakes up at three in the morning, and how long you will be breastfeeding can be done only as the matter progresses. Leave these important decisions until the time when you see what your child is. But there are several considerations that should be taken into consideration in advance.

Before proceeding, let's agree. Some of the ideas that we share with you may at first seem strange and not similar to what you will hear from others. But please do not close your shell. Start your parenting career with an open heart and mind, otherwise you can equip your ship in such a way that it inevitably sags frustration. A simple and comfortable child that you expect may not be the child you receive. Stay open to the new ideas of and then already choose what is more suitable for your family. For our part, we can assure you that all the recommendations discussed were thoroughly researched and based not only on our personal experience. Some of the advice we have offered has been derived from the valuable work of distinguished colleagues and trustworthy researchers. We give you the most up-to-date information about how parents should start life with a child correctly.