How to deal with it
Mar 09, 2018
It's easily distracted, and it will help you. A one-year-old child is so eager to explore the world around him that he does not know where to start and where to stop. If he is carried away by a bunch of keys, you can get him to release the keys, giving him an egg whisk in return. His ability to get distracted is one of the levers through which intelligent parents manage him.
What you need to do in the house when the baby starts walking. When you tell your mother that her child has outgrown the crib and riding arena and that it's time to let him go to the floor, she responds with an upset look: "But I'm afraid that he will get hurt. Or something will break. "Sooner or later, you have to lower it to the floor, if not in 10 months, then at 15, when he starts walking. Then he will not be more cautious, and it will be just as difficult for you to control him. At whatever age you give him freedom in the house, you better get ready for it.
How to prevent accidents with a one-year-old child, how to protect furniture and other things from it? First, in the rooms where he is, there must be a majority of such things that he is allowed to play with. Then it is necessary to forbid only a little. If you try to forbid him to touch all or almost all, they will lose their temper and bring the child to a fit of hysteria. If much is allowed to him and has something to do, he will not want what can not be done. From a practical point of view, this means that you need to remove fragile ashtrays, vases and ornaments from low tables and put them so that the child can not reach. This also means that you need to remove valuable books from the lower shelves of bookcases and put old magazines instead. Put the valuable
books so tightly that the child can not pull them out. In the kitchen, put pots and pans on the lower shelves, and porcelain and products - on the top. One mother filled the bottom drawer of the desk with old clothes, toys and other interesting objects and allowed the child to dig into them as much as she wanted. How to teach a child not to touch something that is forbidden. This is the main problem between the ages of one year and two. There are always things that the child can not touch. For example, the lamps on the tables. He should not pull the wire or turn the table. He should not touch the hot plate, or turn on the gas, or get out of the window.
At first, the word "no" is not enough. You do not stop the child by telling him "you can not," at least not at the beginning. Even later, it all depends on the tone of your voice, how often you say it and how serious it is. Even if the child has learned from his own experience what it is and sees that you are speaking seriously, this is not the most reliable method. Do not shout "not" not in your voice across the room. This puts him before a choice. He says to himself: "Am I cowed, listen to her - or will I be a man and pull the wire?" Remember that nature makes a child experience everything and contradict orders. It is very likely that he will continue to act in his own way, while at the same time glancing at you from the corner of your eye to see whether you are angry or not. Much more reasonable, as soon as he began to do something unresolved, to approach him, pick him up and move him to another part of the room. At the same time, you can say "you can not."You simultaneously teach him and show what it means. Immediately give him an old magazine, an empty cigarette pack or something else interesting and safe. It makes no sense to give him a rattle, which for several months already bore him.
And if he returns to the lamp in a few minutes? Take him and distract him again, quickly, decisively and benevolently. Again, say "you can not", reinforcing your actions. Sit with him for a minute and show what can be done with the new toy. If necessary, remove the lamp beyond its reach or even take it out of the room. You tactfully, but firmly show him that your decision is unshakable and that the lamp is not a toy. Do not argue, reason, do not abuse the child, do not look at him angrily - all this will not help, he will only be more stubborn.
But you can object: "He will never learn unless I teach him."Learn. You will learn much more quickly if you speak in such a tone, as if it were self-evident. If you threaten a child with a finger that does not yet know that "it is impossible" means "impossible", you only encourage it to do it your way. He wants to check whether it is possible to disobey. And if you grab it, put it in front of you and start to scold, it will not work better. You did not give him the opportunity to retreat with dignity or forget about the incident. He must either surrender submissively, or disobey.
I remember Mrs. T., who constantly complained about her disobedient daughter. Just at that moment I entered Susi's room, a normal, mischievous sixteen-month-old girl. Seeing her, Mrs. T. . immediately disapproved said: "Do not forget, Susie, you can not approach the radio."Susie did not really think about the radio, but now she had to remember it. She turned and walked slowly towards him. Mrs. T. was in a panic as soon as one of her children began to show independence. She was afraid that she would not be able to control them. And in alarm she raised a noise where it was not necessary. It looks like a person, who learns to ride a bicycle and saw a stone ahead. He is so nervous that he runs straight to the stone.
Imagine that a child comes to a hot oven. Mother will not sit, limited to the word "impossible", said disapproving tone. She will jump up and take the child. She can not do otherwise, when you really need to prevent a child from doing something, and not exercise in someone who has a stronger will.
Take your time and act decisively. The mother of a twenty-month-old boy takes him to the store every day. But complains that he does not go near her, but departs and climbs on every porch, past which they pass. The more she hurries him, the more often he lingers. When she scolds him, he runs away in the opposite direction. She is afraid that he may have problems with his behavior. Such problems the child still does not have, although they can arise. He is not at that age to constantly remember the store. Natura tells him: "Take this walk for exploration! Look at these steps! "Every time his mother calls, she recalls his new desire to assert himself. What should the mother do in this case? If she needs to go to the store quickly, she will carry him in the stroller. But if she wants to go to the store and take a stroll, you need to spend four times as much time on her as if she went alone and let the kid get distracted. If it goes slower, the child will not be distracted at every turn.
Here is another difficult situation. It's time to go to dinner, but the child, contented, delves into the ground. If you say "It's time to go," meaning with your tone "You can not play anymore," you will encounter resistance. But if you say cheerfully: "Try to climb the stairs," he may want to do it. But suppose he is tired, capricious, and nothing attracts him in the house. The child begins to be stubborn. I would take him in my arms and take him home, even if he squeals and kicks like a pig. Do it with a confident air, as if telling him: "I know that you are tired and is annoyed, but we still need to go."Do not scold him: he still does not understand that he is behaving incorrectly. Do not argue with him: you will not persuade him anyway, only get angry yourself. A small child who feels unhappy and arranges a scene, in the depths of his soul understands: the mother knows what she is doing, and therefore will gradually calm down.
A child who drops and throws things. At the age of one year the child learns to drop things on purpose. He leans out of his chair and throws food on the floor or one by one throws the toys out of the crib. A. then begins to cry, because he lost them. The annoyed mother suspects that he is mocking her. But he does not even think about her: he is fascinated by his new ability. He wants to throw something all day, like a boy from morning till night, ready to ride a new bike. If you pick up things thrown by them, he immediately understands that two can play in this game, and rejoices. It is better not to accustom it to the fact that you immediately raise the toys thrown at them. Put the child on the floor or on the ground when he comes to such a mood. You can tie his favorite toys to the crib with a rope of centimeters 30 long( if the rope is longer, the child can get confused in it).Other toys tie to the stroller. You can not allow him to throw food, but he will not start until he can eat. When he starts throwing it, immediately take away the food tray and give the child a chance to play. If you scold a child for throwing things, you will not achieve anything, just get yourself upset.