Do not be afraid of gloomy thoughts
Here you are at home, again in the familiar surroundings, the child is arranged in a crib, which you have lovingly prepared for him. You are surrounded with care and attention by the husband, relatives and people close to you. It would seem that there is every reason to be absolutely happy. But it happens that you are full of real melancholy. Unfortunately, often after childbirth, depression may occur. It is called the anguish of women in childbirth, or postpartum depression.
A woman has just experienced a deep shock( physical and moral), her entire body participated in a complex work - childbirth. There have been significant hormonal and, of course, psychological changes. Behind the nine-month wait, during which the woman experienced various feelings, including fear, was nervous. She still feels tired, but at the same time aware of the responsibility for her baby, who did little in the maternity hospital. Therefore, she feels anxious, nervous, alert and ready at any minute to cry. Moreover, it can be visited by gloomy thoughts about which nobody is told.
If depression started in the maternity hospital, which is quite possible, feel free to tell the doctor about it. Modern doctors are sure that after delivery women need moral support and rest. If mothers provide psychological support in the maternity hospital, the depression can quickly stop.
In a state of depression, it is better not to be alone with your thoughts. Try to find someone from close people who would help in caring for the child until you gain strength and relax. You can talk about your state of mind with your doctor, pediatrician, health visitor - they know from experience that depression after childbirth is not uncommon, and, of course, they can help.
Depression also occurs in very young mothers and mothers with many children. If you were a victim, you know that it can stop as quickly as it has arisen. Moments of complete tranquility can be replaced by periods of longing, and this can last several weeks, even months( in the worst case - no more than 6 months) with gradual improvement.
There may be a sense of physical and moral emptiness from the consciousness that you were so expecting a child, nurtured and protected, and now it exists apart from you. I assure you that any mother feels this to a greater or lesser extent.
As a rule, feeding a child has a beneficial effect on the mother, because it helps to establish a close relationship between them. Sometimes it can cause excessive fatigue, especially if the baby sucks badly. Do not get irritated and do not try to do more than you can.
Sometimes a woman feels that she does not know how to behave with a baby, which seems so fragile. You will see that over time the natural instinct will teach you everything, yes so that you yourself will be surprised. Know also that the child is much stronger than it seems. Trust him, he is able to help you. Here is the story of a young mother( a month after childbirth):
"I have a wonderful baby! I was very bad, but my baby changed me! In the hospital was so sad, scary and melancholy. I thought it was because I was not at home, but in the ward, in an unfamiliar setting. I thought, I'll divorce at home, I'll cheer up, I so wanted to see everyone. It turned out the opposite was true: at home everything irritated me, for any reason I was offended and shed tears. I remember how sharply I was jealous when on the first day after returning from the hospital my mother-in-law bathed my daughter, her first granddaughter. I stood in a complete daze, I was ready to burst into tears, did not understand that she was just showing me how to do it. But she did everything so gently, with love.
A few days later, I began to stay with the child alone for the whole day. I did some work around the house, but spent most of my time with my daughter: she fed, swaddled, bathed, just sat next to me when she did not sleep. And imagine: after 2-3 weeks anguish and irritability began to leave me, and soon I completely forgot about it. I'm sure this relationship with my daughter helped me. "
Postpartum melancholia intensifies when a woman from the first days does not experience a tender maternal love. If this happens to you, do not rush to the conclusion that you are a bad mother. The mother's love for the child does not always arise immediately, it is born gradually, becoming stronger day by day.
Most women after birth notice sharp mood swings: any small thing can cause an enthusiastic reaction, and any carelessly said word can cause a flood of tears. Many are panic-stricken for the life of the child, no matter how the doctors assure us that everything is in order with the baby. Other mothers, on the other hand, are strangely indifferent and take care of the baby only on duty, feeling at the same time guilty to the child for not being able to love him at first sight.
No matter how it looked, there's nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of. Our emotions are spurred on by hormones, and the hormonal background of the puerper comes to normal only a few months after delivery. Very rarely, such hormonal mood swings are so severe that they require medical treatment. For many years of my work with pregnant women and puerperts everything happened. It was like this:
"Tatiana P.( 25 years old) entered the hospital. Birth first. Pregnancy proceeded against the background of gestosis( toxicosis of the second half of pregnancy), with an increase in blood pressure. Childbirth passed safely, a beautiful girl was born weighing 3000 g. But after giving birth, the condition of a woman worsened: blood pressure increased, and protein appeared in urine tests. She was prescribed treatment. I had to temporarily stop the baby feeding. Relatives, husband, girlfriends constantly visited a young mother. On the third day after the birth, Tatiana appeared depressed: she did not want to get up, lay face to face, talked with no one, cried, refused medicine and food, she was not interested in the long-awaited child. In this situation I had to resort to a psychiatrist's consultation and to treat postpartum psychosis. The treatment gave results, Tatiana was allowed to feed the baby.
After discharge from the hospital, the family surrounded her with special warmth and care, which played an important role in her recovery. "
Unfortunately, the state of depression can be prolonged, poisoning the happiness of motherhood. It is difficult to give universal recommendations, but if the households gathered at the crib of the child will remember what unites them, about the family they created and do not want to lose, then it is possible to find a solution to many problems together. And the young mother will forget about depression.