How to become a communicable person? Useful recommendations

A normal and full-fledged existence within the framework of society requires from a person the exchange of information with other people, interaction with them, performing certain functions in exchange for social benefits. Interaction between people in society is called communication. Social interaction helps us to meet our own needs, to occupy a certain social niche. The more effectively we have the methods of communication and information flow management, the higher the status we can find in society.

Plan of the article:

• The concept of communicability
  
• "Recipes" of communicability
  
• The main advantages of communicability
  

The concept of communicability

Very often communicability is perceived as a synonym for sociability. This is not quite true.

A sociable person easily comes into contact, willingly reveals himself before the interlocutor. He informs the listener of the necessary and unnecessary information, often without worrying about whether he perceives it or not. He asks many questions, not much caring to delve into the answers. The whole process of communication is built on his active and dominant position in the conversation or, more often, a monologue. The interlocutor is able to imitate the courtesy of interest in talking to you. However, in fact, he does not give a damn about you, and he wants to quickly get rid of your presence. Therefore, sociability is, in general, good, but it is not good for you from it.


How to understand: a person is sociable or just experiencing a lack of communication? A person is sociable, if:

• Experiencing a real pleasure from a conversation - it is a conversation, not a hilarious monologue.


• Possesses the ability to support conversation on any topic.


• May be at ease speaking to a wide audience.


• Not tushuetsya, in any situation is able to access and competently express their thoughts.


• Selects the tone and stylistic coloring of speech in accordance with the audience of listeners.


• Is able to fully control the attention of listeners for the necessary time.

Basic mistakes in trying to build communication with strangers:

1. Some people, trying to settle in unfamiliar surroundings, start a conversation with the question of the names of the interlocutors, without naming, however their own. This causes them discomfort, because at the first stages of communication the exchange of information should be proportional and equivalent( how much information it received, and so much provided).If proportionality is not respected, the interlocutor feels unprotected and vulnerable, because you have a large amount of information about him, than he about you.


2. A frequent mistake is an attempt to "strike into" the conversation of two strangers without understanding its subject matter. Not only will such an attempt to make contact cause people to feel irritated, it will leave you and you an unpleasant sludge due to the irrelevance of your intrusion.


3. This also applies to attempts to start a conversation with a stranger on a specific topic that is of interest only to you or a small number of persons. In this case, a person will not see any benefit from communicating with you and will try to distance himself, finish this uninteresting conversation as soon as possible.


4. Appearance of excessive emotionality or lack of emotion in communication. Exposure and intensity of emotions can scare your potential interlocutor. Nobody knows what to expect from such an unbalanced type. And if the emotions you show are also frankly affected, it will cause dislike and reluctance to continue communicating with you. Cold indifference during a conversation will cause a "vis-a-vis" feeling of alienation and lack of your interest in continuing the conversation.


5. Non-observance of personal space. If you begin to trust in your confidence by the elbow, hug an unfamiliar person by the shoulders, try to speak in his ear, intimate approach when talking to the person's face, this will lead to rejection and the desire to distance yourself from you by any means. It will also be strange to try to communicate with a person, being at a considerable distance from him and raising his voice.


6. A mistake will also attract everyone's attention, intrigue, preparing an effective replica, then, sensing everyone's attention, fading, stammering and crumpling the phrase, causing a feeling of general awkwardness. This will disrupt the atmosphere of ease and confidence.

"Recipes" of communicability

Calmness and self-reliance. You should not fuss, ingratiatingly look into the eyes of the interlocutor, raise your voice or whisper, get numb or get excited when talking. Also, you do not need to close, cross your arms over your chest and look around. Your confident relaxed pose, a look in the eyes of the "vis-a-vis", a low voice and a measured tone will force the interlocutor to involuntarily treat your words with great attention and respect.

Say no to prejudices. Do not make hasty conclusions about the person in his appearance or social status, until you communicate with him long enough. Sometimes hasty conclusions are diametrically opposed to the real state of things. Choosing because of hasty decisions incorrect tactics of communication, you risk losing in the person of the person and, as a consequence, the business potential partner. Look for the person in the first place, dignity and advantages. This will create a positive attitude and constructive cooperation.

Learn to listen. This is one of the foundations of a culture of communication. Ability to listen to the interlocutor and hear it is a whole art. A good and appreciative listener will appreciate any adequate person. You should not interrupt a person in mid-sentence, let him finish his thought and then state your arguments or counterarguments.


Do not lose contact with the person you are talking to. During the conversation, the interlocutor should always feel your attention. For this it is necessary most of the time to look into his eyes( to the bridge of the nose), but to avoid the boring heavy eye. The best option would be for a few seconds to delay the look at the interlocutor, then translate it to another subject in the field of visibility without turning the head. Try also to ask leading questions and issue tactful interjections.

Sharpness and clarity of expressions. In conversation, try to avoid ambiguous words and expressions, inappropriate lexical phrases, verbosity and understatement. The use of terminology, the meaning of which is understandable only to you and your circle of communication, will make the opponent feel uncomfortable, put him in an awkward position. A person will begin to clarify the meaning of unfamiliar words, losing a lot of time on this. Or he will pretend that he understands everything, but the information will pass by. Therefore, try to communicate with the interlocutor on one language level. This will help to avoid misunderstandings and at times increase the effectiveness of communication.

Timely switch the attention of the interlocutor. In the course of a conversation, you can change the topic slightly, make it more neutral, tell a suitable anecdote, offer a person coffee or tea.

Do not use value judgments in a conversation. If during a conversation the competence of a person is questioned in the discussed issues, his ability to adequately assess the situation, as well as the truthfulness of the information he provides, a person often closes down and refuses to continue the conversation. Therefore, it becomes unavailable for communication. As a result, we lose the interlocutor, not having reached the set purposes.

Do not avoid communication. Only by practice you can develop effective communication skills. Any, even the most unpleasant and uncomfortable communication for you will replenish your "piggy bank" of communicability with new models of constructive communications.

Constantly work on yourself. To maintain the vocabulary and horizons at a decent level, you must constantly engage in self-development. Read the new literature, study the latest trends in science, technology, culture and politics. Try to fill as much as possible the gaps in education. This will allow you without any difficulty to conduct a casual conversation, regardless of the topic.


Show initiative and friendliness. Try to always greet first, even if people you are unfamiliar and do not greet in return. Smile and start the conversation first. The absence of the need to leave the comfort zone and make the first step at times makes it easier to establish contact with him. Starting the conversation, you assume responsibility for its flow and outcome - positive or negative. Therefore, subconsciously, a person will be grateful to you for this and, as a result, is more compliant and friendly.

Avoid excessive dryness and formalism in communication. Here, too, it is important to observe the boundaries of decency. Excessively formal, pathetic or stiff tone will build between you and the other person a wall cleaner than the Great Chinese. At the same time, too familiar, panibratic style of communication( "poking", the transition to personalities) can scour and offend a person. It is important to find a balance, a golden mean. Watch your opponent's reaction. If he normally responds to the "warming" of the tone of your conversation, you can let a couple of words from the everyday vocabulary, tell a couple of relevant funny life events that are suitable for the

topics. Do not focus on defeatist thoughts. Learn to love and appreciate yourself, as honestly as possible, determine your shortcomings and try to come up with ways to overcome them. Try to do what you are afraid of most - talk to unfamiliar girls on the street, meet in clubs and restaurants. Very good will help develop communication skills working on "cold" calls in direct sales offices.

The main advantages of communicability

What gives us sociability? First of all, this feeling of self-confidence. Well-developed communication skills allow you to take the situation under control in any unfamiliar environment. They help us study the interlocutor, find out his motives and priorities. In any situation, we can seize the attention of people and bring their thoughts to them. This helps to skillfully influence the behavior of a person in achieving their goals.

This is not about banal manipulation, but about mutually beneficial cooperation between the two sides. Communicative skills are used not to impose their will on a person, but to identify his needs and to communicate his own. And the main art for the master of communications is the ability to competently link your goals to the goals of another person.

The existence of developed communication skills is simply priceless in the conduct of various kinds of negotiations, whether commercial or diplomatic. Both sides are well aware of their interests and goals, but the task is to agree and choose a compromise that will suit everyone.

When solving any conflict, the "communicative guru" will accurately identify the problem and sharp formulate the essence of the problem, since the correct formulation of the problem already contains its solution. Further coming to the common "denominator" in resolving the conflict is becoming a matter of technology.


Your ability to solve various professional and household problems will cause a feeling of deep respect and recognition from colleagues and partners that will provide you with great advantages and prospects.

The main thing is to believe in yourself!