How to deal with jealousy of a husband - how to deal with jealousy
Almost every woman, at least once in her life, has been jealous of her boyfriend or already a legitimate spouse. Of course, sometimes jealousy has grounds and does not cross the border of normal behavior. But what to do to those whose man just goes insane and does not provide an opportunity to breathe freely. How to deal with the jealousy of her husband?
Psychological Aspects of
To destroy the jealousy of a husband, one must first understand the psychology of this feeling. What is jealousy in general? These are doubts about the loyalty and love of an expensive person, who almost always have a very painful character. But such a definition can only be called a superficial interpretation of the word "jealousy".
First of all jealousy is the uncertainty of the jealous, the uncertainty of his attractiveness, that he is worthy of the love of his beloved woman. Therefore, even despite the almost general opinion that is jealous - it means that he loves, in jealousy there is more selfishness than real love.
Quite often you can meet men who are to some extent even proud of their jealousy. But there is absolutely nothing positive and good in it. Jealousy is weakness. The jealous is weak, hurt and powerless. And he understands this, but he has neither the mind nor the excerpts of his own powerlessness to hide from his beloved woman and those around him. So there is unreasonable jealousy. Now you know what kind of psychology of male jealousy it is, and it's time to find out what kind of feeling it is.
Types of jealousy
Type 1: Jealousy painless household
One great person once remarked that a woman may be slightly offended by the manifested jealousy, but she can never forgive her total absence. A small dose of jealousy is even useful for any relationship. It is she who gives the man the impetus to move, to become better than possible competitors, allows you to look at a favorite from a slightly different angle and refresh your senses.
This kind of jealousy is useful for both partners: a woman feels that her loved one appreciates her, is afraid of losing what she desires. A man enjoys the understanding that the woman he chose likes other men. And how useful is jealousy, when you want to make a loved one make some changes in life! After all, it is only a little "poke" jealousy and the man immediately throws out his old and so unloved you T-shirt, will notice the slightest changes in your appearance and in general will become the most gentle and affectionate.
To keep beloved in tone is a considerable art, only the main thing in this art is not to overdo it, and then an inoffensive and useful feeling can transform into jealousy of the second type.
Type 2: Jealousy hypertrophied
If ordinary jealousy enhances love, then jealousy hypertrophied it only complicates. While you control the process, the state of jealousy with your man can still be openly discussed and contested. Women begin to calm themselves with the famous phrase about "jealous, that means they love," but more often they notice slipping unpleasant moments in communicating with a loved one: he begins to treat his wife, as if she is his property, not to give her freedom for her personal interests and needs. Unfortunately, such jealousy will only progress with time.
Type3: Jealousy pathological
This is already an obsession that is associated with fear of being deceived, which is accompanied by neuroses and increased anxiety. According to psychologists, this jealousy is hardest to treat, it's essentially a craze. The man turns into a prosecutor and detective at the same time, constantly looking for evidence of treason. In general, from such a person it is better to run, where the eyes look. It's unlikely that you want to be drugged with suspicions, reproaches and scandals throughout your entire life together.
Signs of male jealousy - not at all swollen nostrils and dagger snatched from the scabbard. As you know, so can only be jealous in TV shows. In reality, a man expresses his jealousy in constant scandals and reproaches. But it is worth noting that the jealousy of men is still better than the jealousy of women, since the latter basically just silently, crying, more and more closing in themselves. And so jealousy can not be overcome.
Combating Jealousy
These are some very useful tips that will help women who know how male jealousy is manifested, tired of this and wanting to change everything:
- talk to her husband heart to heart. Men are much more straightforward than girls and therefore they do not understand hints so well. Because of this, your half can not understand your discontent at all, than either. He needs to explain directly, but only without insults, that a jealous husband is not necessary to you and that excessive jealousy and true love are simply incompatible. That's just starting a fairly difficult conversation you need not at the time of quarreling, and when you are calm and adequately understand each other;
- try to raise your self-esteem. After all, as it was said above, jealousy is a manifestation of self-doubt. As often as possible, tell your half of every possible compliment and convince him that it's better to imagine a person for yourself. It is possible that this "therapy" will help over time to reduce the jealousy of a loved one;
- never remember with your husband about your past relationship. You can not do this even in a negative way, not to mention the positive one. Forget about talking about your first kiss or about what you took from the girlfriend at the school. All this makes your loved one jealous only stronger. Remember: jealousy towards the past of young people is one of the most common causes of the dissolution of marriages;
- does not need to provoke her husband into jealousy. It often happens that girls complain about the causeless, as they think, jealousy from the side of a loved one. But they do not even understand what a feeling they cause in a man themselves. Therefore, to begin with, analyze whether there are any moments in your behavior that provoke a loved one.
It may well be that none of these tips will not help you cope with the jealousy of your husband, and he will still harass you with suspicion and eternal control. If the jealousy of the beloved is pathological, there may be only one option - to terminate the relationship. Otherwise, after several years of such perpetual nit-picking, you will become clogged, nervous and lonely.