Unique secrets of how to raise a child correctly
Observance of these rules will help you and your baby to find the overall rhythm of life faster, nevertheless, without disturbing each other's personal space. Remember your indignation when you need to go urgently to work, and the child quite leisurely tied up his shoelaces. Or for example, when the child reluctantly goes to the kindergarten, accompanying the farewell tears and trying to follow you. All these examples speak first of all of the untimely accustoming of the child to the generally accepted rules. Let's consider what the most important rituals should be taught early by any kid.
5 rules( rituals) for the proper upbringing of the child
1. To go to bed
This rule turns into almost an eternal problem for many, especially when the apartment is always full of fun and noisy conversations until the morning. Remember that a small child needs a full sleep up to 9 hours a day, and at night. Otherwise, the next day, he will be capricious, eat badly, or even do not want to get up in the morning. At 18 o'clock in the evening the child should be already disguised as a sleeping suit and brush his teeth. At 20 pm his stay is accordingly moved to the children's room, where it is recommended to engage in light, non-active games, for example, counting cubes or viewing a picture book. Thus, your baby will get used to observe silence in the evening. That, accordingly, will help him to fall asleep quickly, without reacting to extraneous noises. Do not give heavy food at night, like old yogurt, raw vegetables, fruits, chocolate, beans, etc. The cause of insomnia may well be malnutrition, which causes babies to ferment in the tummy.
2. Wash your hands
In addition to the benefits of hygiene, this habit shapes the child's sense of cleanliness towards himself. Which, of course, will subsequently affect its external and internal development. Mourning "kaemochki" under the nails can also cause the appearance of worms, from which it will later be very difficult to get rid of. In addition, this kind does not make the child attractive against the background of his more well-groomed peers, which already influences his position in the society from the very beginning. Teach your child to wash your hands before meals or after going to the toilet. Get him a towel of cheerful coloring, soap in the form of bunnies or hearts, and also buy a small basin only for its use, on which you can paste funny figures so that the child understands where only "his" things are. Washing hands in the mornings and evenings is considered an absolutely necessary minimum norm for everyday hygiene of the baby. Many small children also often take their hands in their mouths, thus provoking the appearance of a variety of unpleasant infections.
3. Regular brushing of teeth
Since the appearance of almost all milk teeth - it is necessary to deal with the introduction of the habit of taking care of them. Of course, it is very difficult to explain to the baby what a dentist is and why the teeth are aching. However, in this case it will be superfluous even to go for an innocuous deception. Acquire the child a game in which he could play only if he brushes his teeth. Show the game and say that he can play with her when he smells toothpaste from his mouth. Brush your teeth and blow on the baby. Say thus: "mm. . fresh breath! !". .. When the baby feels how pleasant the smell of toothpaste, suggest that he also brush his teeth, after which he must already "blow" at you. Here, of course, one must also "admire" the fact that the child has fresh breath.
Let's remind that it is very important to strengthen emotions at encouragement or punishment that the child has understood their true sense. Since, unlike an adult, the baby is not able to think about words.
4. Put everything in its place
A very difficult, but absolutely necessary habit for you. First, the child develops a sense of organization, which will have a positive effect throughout his life. How to develop it?- Gradually. A child can not be forced to do what he does not want. But it can be motivated. For example, the fact that he can not watch a cartoon or read this "this" book, until he collects all the cubes in this "this" box. Children can not understand all the words, but they are by no means stupid. The child immediately realizes that it deprives him of pleasure, if the cubes remain lying on the floor. Thus, in the future he will, without any reminders himself, put things in order in his toys, things and room.
5. Do not take the things of parents
In order for this to really become a reality, it's not enough to remove everything from the eyes. Here, except for the rewards, unfortunately, you need to apply and little harmless punishment. For example, not only remove the cubes in a box, but also fold all the toys or stand in a corner. Why is not promotion appropriate here? Everything is very simple. Accustomed to receiving candy for such "good" behavior, the child will on the contrary specifically take and hide powder boxes, keys, matches in the most unusual places with the goal of earning a treat. Develop from a young age respect for your private sphere of the parent, so that in the future you can keep it for yourself. Make a small cardboard box with scissors and glue with a small cabinet with a door. Draw it with colored felt-tip pens, sign to whom it belongs. Invite the kid to put his favorite things there and never get them from there personally. Simulate the situation, as if you needed a teddy bear from the locker to feed it. Ask the child to get the bear from the locker and also put it back. Over time, his commitment will develop a sense of ownership, and he will gladly use it.
How to raise a child: practice
Now let's move on to situations where, apart from you and your baby, third parties - children or adults - are involved in what is happening. Let's analyze a few everyday situations from practice and analyze them.
Situation 1. Your child is offended by another child
In such cases, it is recommended to delay the second with protection from your side( if it's not about physical injuries of course) and try to understand how your child will react to it. Based on the results of this test, you will in the future either not pay attention to such situations - if the child is able to stand up for himself, or adjust his behavior - if it is not. Do not hesitate at home to give the child a few lessons on self-defense. Intellectual conversations at this age will not help a little.
As young children, due to the immaturity of their thinking, practically solve everything by force, the principle of all their actions is built on the "you can-can not" scheme. And the teddy bear as a result will be taken by the one who has more strength. However, it is not necessary to bring up excessive aggression in this case. Just show the child that his toy is his thing and you can really pinch it in the fist, and if necessary, give it to him. Especially the sense of leadership is manifested in boys. Their games are mostly noisy, full of sharp movements, boil down to pushing, to take away - to win the IP.Do not stop the activity of children unnecessarily, especially with outsiders. All this must be done calmly and alone.
Situation 2. Your child offends other children
Similar grievances are usually accompanied by painful feelings to the opponent. If this happens often enough, you need to contact a child psychologist. Nevertheless, in some cases, the child offends children in return - if they have offended him, and maybe, based on your behavior, that is, the behavior of parents and other relatives, for example, if an older brother or father offends him, offends his mother.
Sometimes children are prone to autism, as a rule, do it almost unconsciously. Because they do not know that the opponent feels pain. Observe the reaction of the baby when he sees people crying or laughing. Does his facial expression change at the same time? Whether he also tries to indulge in such emotions. If the kid keeps almost always the same neutral reaction to different emotions - it makes sense to really inquire about such a phenomenon as autism. Autistic children are essentially healthy.
However, their reaction to the manifestation of the external world can be distorted because of a lack of sense of reality. They can often burn themselves on a hot frying pan, or walk across the road completely ignoring the car traffic. Such alienation can and should be corrected. With the help of special games, which are just able to recommend a speech therapist or child psychologist. Try to explain to the child what is pain. Plant a teddy bear on a chair, sit down and sit beside the child. Pinch the bear so that the child also repeats this action. Then ask to pinch yourself. Then you must pinch the baby. When a child tweaks you - paint a sense of pain on the face, accompany it with a bitter sigh. When he pinches a bear - "pity" the bear, blow on his paw, show sympathy, so that the child also had to follow your gesture of condolence. If it happens that the child himself in real life experiences unpleasant sensations, for example, when falling or damaged, do not forget to express emotions of sympathy. This is how you show the baby what is condolence and how it differs from joy.
Situation 3. The child feels uncomfortable in the circle of peers
In case of such a situation it is necessary to clearly identify the reason why this happens. If there are so-called "provocateur children" in a group of children, do not rush to write your baby to the aggressors. Look closely and listen to how your baby reacts to provocation from the side of too active children. If he aspires, to avoid such communication with only one friend of the game, then consider that you are lucky. Take any measures will be inappropriate, since the kid must learn all the feelings, as well as resentment and frustration and even anger. Otherwise, he will be completely unprepared for adulthood.
If your child eschews all children in the group, it is recommended to immediately change the group. Long stay in such uncomfortable conditions can seriously injure the psyche of a young child. Feeling once disappointed with the communication with all peers, he will try and avoid contact in the future, which makes the child closed, and therefore - weak. As if you did not like the caretaker or the kindergarten - remember that a smile between adults when you meet and take a child out of the kindergarten is not worth a second of thought if your baby seems uncomfortable with his group.
In addition, unsure of themselves, children are encouraged to offer group games, where they could not do without a companion for the game. It can be football, tennis, hide-and-seek, etc. Group games with peers are very important for the child. His world is at the level of his peephole, which means that big uncles and aunts will not be interesting to him because "this little girl with bows", although she still does not speak. In the group, the kids learn different emotions together, including disappointment, consolation, joy, rivalry. To limit the child in communicating with peers for this reason is highly discouraged.
So, as you can see, raising a baby is a matter of painstaking work. However, Vse-Sekrety.ru wants to note that we should not forget, we bear the greatest responsibility of our life for our children. Spare no time for your child, do not push him away, even if you are very busy listening to his not yet intelligible words. Remember that you once were very young. Errors and gaps in upbringing can lead to very negative consequences, which will be very, very difficult to fix, if at all possible. Give all possible time to children, they will grow up and appreciate it.