• Postpartum Depression Symptoms

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    Postpartum spasm, or postpartum depression, is a state of depression, depression, which occurs in some women approximately on the 3-4th day after childbirth. As a rule, h after 2 days it passes without a trace, but there are cases when such a painful state torments a woman for a long time, up to several months. In primipara it is rare enough, often depression occurs in mothers who already have one or more children. How does this oppressive state manifest itself? A woman suddenly from notes that she does not have any joy about the birth of her own child, and the child himself is not perceived by her as a close and native man. She begins to worry, because she believes that this feeling is abnormal, and the mother is obliged to love her child.

    In an effort to atone for her imaginary guilt before the baby, the woman begins to exaggerately take care of him, not noticing in the meantime how her own mental state worsens day by day. Suddenly, there is an increased tearfulness, which previously might not have been characteristic of her. Tears begin to flow on any, the most insignificant occasion, and more often completely without an occasion. The woman herself can not explain the reason for her tears. Close people annoy her with her superfluous, as it seems to her, custody of her and the baby, with her remarks that she is doing everything wrong and can not properly take care of the child. The husband causes her resentment and irritation by not helping enough in caring for the child. A young mother experiences constant decline of strength, weakness, apathy, drowsiness. She has a hard time doing housework. Periodically she has a feeling of fear for herself and her baby, she is not sure about tomorrow. Despite daytime sleepiness, at night can not sleep, haunted by nightmares, and the child also does not promote deep sleep. All this brings the woman's psyche to exhaustion. She may refuse to breastfeed. Psychological problems are soon joined by purely physiological problems - constipation may occur or

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    Why does postpartum depression occur? Most doctors are inclined to attribute to the causes of depression the deficiency of female sex hormones: estrogen and progesterone, which occurs immediately after birth. This state mimics premenstrual syndrome with its crying, irritability and touchiness. To this psychological reasons also join. So, a woman after childbirth could have a feeling of dissatisfaction with her own child, because in her dreams she represented him completely different. It's no secret that newly born children are not very attractive. If the young mother before the pregnancy, and especially during it, spoiled in the family, and she was in the spotlight, then after the birth, the emphasis of attention of loved ones is sharply shifted to the baby. This can not be liked by a woman who has become accustomed to the fact that the love and care of her family is addressed to her. In this case, the child is perceived as the cause of this inattention, and accordingly a hindrance. In this case, no feelings, except irritation to your child, a young mother for a while does not arise. When a woman is in the hospital, the reason for the appearance of irritability can be an unfavorable situation in the house, the uncertainty that the husband will be able to take care of the remaining children. These thoughts are constantly present in the head, further increasing nervousness. In addition, some ladies just do not like hospitals and feel bad in the maternity home, strive to get out with the child as soon as possible. Many women, on the contrary, are horrified to present their return to the bosom of the family, because they think that they will not be able to combine everyday cares, ironing, washing with cares for the child. Usually it happens in those families in which the husband is completely detached from the duties of the house and does not consider it necessary to help his wife.

    At present a rather large number of genera from their total number occurs with complications, ruptures, dissections of the perineum. After severe childbirth, the woman feels even more tired and irritable, which results not only from loss of blood during a possible operation, but also from constant pain in the area of ​​the sutures. Of course, such a painful stimulus leads to a change in the mental state of a woman. She becomes more tearful, irritated at the slightest temptation. The source of pain is not only the sutures, but also the cracks in the nipples, which often occur, especially in primiparous mothers, during the first feeding. The skin on the nipple is very tender, and the baby can easily hurt it. This crack during subsequent feeding delivers the mother a lot of pain, breastfeeding becomes almost impossible. A hungry baby cries, which aggravates the emotional situation even more.

    Postpartum depression contributes to the feeling of childlessness that sometimes occurs in young mothers. After childbirth, it sometimes seems, it was not necessary to take this step, that the child was not born on time and all life prospects are lost. Of course, this is completely wrong, and after a while a woman will understand and love with all her heart your baby. But such thoughts can come to her mind on the 3-4th day after birth. Almost all future mothers think that after the birth of a child, they will immediately become much slimmer and more beautiful than during pregnancy, and they are very disappointed by the fact that their figure after birth has practically not changed. This can also contribute to the postpartum melancholy.

    How can we cope with this condition, which in the absence of help can become serious enough, and even trigger a suicide attempt, not to mention the problems in the psychological climate of the family? Of course, ideally, a woman is better to turn to a specialist psychologist. He will be able to solve all psychological problems in a qualified manner. However, such help is usually required only in very serious cases, when the condition of a woman causes a threat to her life, thoughts of suicide appear, etc. In other cases, close people can also help you. First of all, of course, my husband. He must understand your condition and try hard to make you feel that for him there is no one more important than you and the child. In his power to arrange a candlelight dinner for you, to make a gift. If you are depressed by the hospital situation, you are at the same time feeling fine and with the baby, too, everything is fine, then the doctor may well write you home earlier than usual. The family where the child was born, many relatives begin to visit often. Mom baby can be very annoying, because at this moment she often wants to be alone with her child and her husband. For her good, it is better for the young father to speak with her relatives and ask them to postpone their congratulatory visits for a later period, when the period of depression will pass. A constant companion of postpartum depression is fatigue, which, as it seems at first glance, it is impossible to fight. In fact, this is not so. Just need to give yourself a rest every time you feel the first signs of fatigue. Do not try to remake all the cases in the house, collapsing then from exhaustion to bed. It is better to do things gradually, keeping track of one's own condition. As soon as you feel a weakness, immediately lie down, at least for 15-20 minutes. This time you will be enough to restore your strength. Have more rest, especially when your baby sleeps.

    It should be remembered that some family members can and should take part of household chores. They should understand that a young mother, despite the fact that she does not work, but is sitting with her child, is not physically able to remake all domestic affairs and needs their help. Very beneficially affect the state of walking with the child. It's better that they take place in nature - in a park or a park. While the child is sleeping in the carriage, look around, admire the surrounding nature, feel peace. Many women at first are very annoyed by the crying of their own baby. It is necessary to get used to this, because it will continue for a very long period of time, while the child is still small, and your nervous system will not be able to constantly react to such stress. Try to convince yourself that the cry of a child is normal, you can always calm it, do not be nervous about it.

    Proper nutrition can be of great help in treating postpartum depression. Special studies have been conducted that revealed a high incidence of this condition in women who consumed large amounts of sugar and chocolate, so try to exclude this product from their diet.

    Some ladies do not like their appearance after giving birth. The only difference is that some of them continue to monitor themselves, brush their hair, do make-up, and dress nicely. The other part prefers to give up on his vernal appearance. In the latter group of women, the percentage of postpartum depression is incommensurably higher than in the first group. After all, for any of us is of great importance, as we look. If the appearance suits us, then the mood automatically increases. After birth, you can not monitor yourself, but you need to. Do not forget that your husband is not indifferent to how you look. There are also cases when a young mother feels fine, is happy to take care of a child, but at the same time pays little attention to her husband. This is the cause of depression in him. Of course, it does not improve the psychological atmosphere in the family and can adversely affect both the woman and the child. And therefore, try and after giving birth, pay enough attention to your husband, to involve him in caring for your common baby. In this case, you will not only preserve harmony in the family, but will also enable your child to develop in an atmosphere of love and understanding.

    You will significantly improve your condition when you become more calm. And you will perform these simple exercises at least several times a day, or when you feel the need to calm down and pull yourself together: take a position, sitting or lying, as you prefer, watch your breathing - it must be slow and deep, make 10deep breaths and exhalations. Try to relax your facial muscles from the top down, that is, first relax your forehead muscles, then the eyelids, etc., then relax your neck, right arm, left arm, back, belly, right leg, left leg in the same way. Then lean forward, put your hands down and lock in this position for 1 min. The next part of our exercise: imagine yourself in the place where you always dreamed to visit or where you were happy in the past. Maybe it will be a seashore or a mountain landscape. Sunlight penetrates into your body and warms it. Gradually, it is penetrated by the sun's rays, you are overwhelmed with lightness, all worries and sorrows are gone, you are happy! Try after such an auto-training to remember this state and remember it every time you are seized by a bout of irritation.

    Perhaps when you first start raising a child, you will experience despair. This is a very common phenomenon, especially with the first child. You can not definitely say what's the matter. It's just that you start crying for anything. Or you are very bad about certain things. One woman, who had a baby crying, decided that he was seriously ill, another thought that her husband had grown cold towards her, the third thought that she had lost all her beauty.

    Depression may occur within a few days or weeks after the birth of the child. The most common time is when the mother leaves the hospital, where she was all ready, and all the worries about the child and the household are suddenly falling on her. It oppresses not work. Perhaps temporarily she will even have an assistant. Oppressing the return of responsibility for the whole family, plus a new responsibility for the child and his health and safety. In addition, after the delivery, certain physical and hormonal changes occur, which can also cause frustration.

    Most mothers do not experience such a severe disorder that it can be called depression. Perhaps you think that there is no need to discuss troubles that may never happen. I mention this because many mothers told me: "I'm sure that I would not be so depressed and discouraged if I knew how widespread such a state is. After all, I thought that my worldview has changed once and for all. "You will endure the test much easier if you know that many have suffered it and that this state is only temporary.

    If you start experiencing depression in the first two months, try to get rid of the worry about the baby for a while, especially if he constantly cries. Go to the cinema, or to the beauty room, or buy yourself a new dress or hat. Visit sometimes girlfriends. Take the child with you if there is no one to leave. Or invite your girlfriends to visit you. All this acts toned up. If you are depressed, you may not want to do all this. But make yourself - and you will feel much better. And this is very important not only for you, but also for your child and husband. If the depression does not go away in a few days or even becomes stronger, immediately consult your psychiatrist through your doctor. At such a time the psychiatrist is very necessary and will bring great benefit and relief.

    When a mother is depressed and she thinks that her husband is indifferent to her, you need to try to consider the problem comprehensively. On the one hand, it is quite natural for a person in a state of depression to feel that others show less friendliness and love. But on the other hand, the child's father, being a man, can not remain indifferent to the fact that the wife and the whole house are occupied only by the child. A kind of vicious circle is being created. Mother( as if she had nothing more to do!) Must always remember about her husband. And should give him any opportunity to participate in the care of the child.

    Most women in the first weeks of the home find that they worry more than usual.

    They are worried because the baby is crying, and they are afraid that something is wrong with him. Every sneeze and every speck is causing them anxiety. They tiptoed into the child's room to check if he was breathing. Probably, the mother's over-care in this period is instinctive. Thus, Nature himself inspires millions of mothers around the world, among whom there are immature and carefree, a sense of responsibility towards children. For an irresponsible woman, excessive anxiety can turn into a boon. But, of course, conscientious mothers, who do not need it at all, experience it hard. Fortunately, it passes.

    Sometimes there is another change in mood. At first, in the hospital, the woman relies entirely on nurses and is grateful for the care of her child. But then suddenly everything changes at once: the woman thinks that only she should take care of the child, and at heart she is indignant at the nurses who do not allow her to do this. If there is a visiting sister in the house, the mother can go through these two stages again. Absolutely normal if the mother wants to take care of her child. The main reason why she does not feel such a feeling from the very beginning is that she considers herself unprepared. The stronger the consciousness of their unpreparedness, the stronger and the desire to take care of everything themselves, when she gets courage.

    You are preparing for a great event for nine months. You come to the finish line and win a prize. Medical staff in the maternity hospital pleases the slightest desire of you at the first push of a button. You are a star. You deserve attention and strong feelings attached to it. After an incredible rise, because you gave life, you, like most mothers, experience a sad, temporary decline, about three days after delivery. Part of the blame for all the hormonal changes, as well as a completely normal recession, through which your emotions pass after any ecstasy. This explains why, when sitting with a child in your arms, you suddenly find yourself in tears.

    After a few weeks of worries the business takes a different turn. The child does not distinguish between day and night, and you have too;you may not have enough milk( or someone can help this idea to arise in your head).As soon as you fall on the bed to finally take a nap, the cry of the child is heard. Your energy goes away faster than you make up for it. Add to this physical fatigue, healing of birth wounds( after an episiotomy or caesarean section), and perhaps memories of births that gave less satisfaction than you expected, as well as a child who behaves differently from what is written in books, and the husband,which behaves the same way. Fold all these daily scenes together, and after two weeks you can have something worse than the spleen.

    In the first month after giving birth, more changes occur in the woman's life than at any other time. Not surprisingly, 50-75 percent of all mothers experience this or that degree of spleen after the birth of the child( the incidence would reach 100 percent if the men were giving birth and breast-feeding).In addition to just a depressed mood, about 10-20 percent of mothers suffer from postpartum depression, manifested by disabling anxiety, insomnia, fears, bouts of crying, exaggeration of dangers and misfortunes, confusion in thoughts, inertia, lack of interest in self-care and physical attractiveness,as well as a negative attitude towards her husband - and sometimes to a child.

    Feelings that arise during postpartum depression are the signals that your body gives you that you have overspent your physical, mental and emotional resources to adapt to all the recent changes and energy costs that have hit you. This does not mean weakness on your part, but only that you have exhausted the capabilities of your body, adjusting to these changes. In addition to such energy-depleting events as childbirth and the care of the newborn, hormonal leaps may lead to postpartum depression. Despite the fact that postpartum spleen and depression are common, there are ways to avoid or at least minimize these heavy feelings.

    Respect the period of rest and comfort

    Do not try to be everything for everyone. The birth of a child is your license to receive care from others. You need time to learn how to manage with your child. You can not prepare stunning restaurant dishes( or even just snacks), arrange luxurious receptions, at the same time clean the house and at the same time nurse with the child. You do not have enough energy for everything, but no one expects this from you.

    Hold on to the most valuable. There will be days when you will feel: "I can not do anything." You are doing the most important thing in the world - takes care of a new human being. Especially if you have a very demanding child, temporarily put all your duties on the shelf, pulling energy out of you and your child. The stage of constant caring for the child does not last forever.

    Choose from the house - do not sit still. In the contract, the mother and the newborn do not have a line obliging them to stay at home."Home" for your crumbs wherever you are. Wear a child in a bag and go for hours walks in the parks, from time to time stopping to listen to the calming voice of nature. Since inertia is a part of depression, take a part of the day to live outside the walls of your house and hold onto this schedule.

    Try group therapy.

    You are not alone in your depression. Almost all new mothers have days of decadent mood, some have more than others. The traditional model of mother and child has never been this: a mother alone at home with a child. It has always been like this: mothers with children, sharing their joys and sorrows. Your school acquaintances, friends and relatives or a local support group will help you get through this period. Perhaps you also need a specialist consultation on postpartum depression. More and more mothers now understand the value of counseling during this transitional period in their lives. In many regions, group counseling is offered when women come together to get support.

    Eat well on the .Depression causes a decrease in appetite, and inadequate nutrition leads to aggravation of depression. In your daily menu there should be at least a little forcibly pushed balanced food.

    Start caring for yourself."I do not have enough strength, even to hold a comb through my hair," is a common phenomenon for depression. As insufficient nutrition, insufficient care of self closes the circle of depression. If you look good, you are more likely to have a good mood. Choose a simple, easy-care haircut to stretch with her first months.

    Pamper yourself. Today you deserve a rest - and every day. Visits to a hairdresser, a visit to a beautician, massage, a whirlpool massage in conjunction with a daily shower and rest or taking a bath are good therapy, and that's what the doctor would prescribe to you.

    "But I do not have time: I need a child," you can object. You have time, and your child needs a healthy mom.

    How to correct a bad onset of

    Severe labor is one of the main causes of postpartum depression. If, because of this, you can not come to your senses in any way, that's how to help yourself to correct a bad beginning.

    Take the first steps. First of all, the most important step on the way to compensating for a bad start is to understand that this is the beginning that took place in you and that grieving over this misfortune is only to create a distance between you and your child. Then call your husband to the family council and share your feelings with him. Tell him specifically about the help that you need - for example, doing homework, holding the child from time to time on your hands and so on. Give your husband to know that you need some time to establish contact with the child. Temporarily put off all the chores around the house and outside the house, which take away your energy, leaving no time to spend time with your child. Tell your husband clearly that you need time to form an attachment to your child, and explain why. You need to go back to day one. Remember what kind of mood you had on the day of birth, and re-experience these days now that you are able to concentrate on the child. You need to establish contact, and this takes time and energy. You have to do it now, because later it will be more difficult.

    Let the child be your therapist. Newborns know how to make their mother better, if only she will create a child-oriented atmosphere that allows this to happen. For a period of at least two weeks - or longer, if necessary - remain glued to your child. If you have problems with breastfeeding, seek help from a professional breastfeeding consultant. It's not just that the baby needs your milk, but also that you need hormonal stimulation, which provides breastfeeding. Breastfeeding causes an influx of motherhood. If you are feeding from a bottle, touch the baby and iron it while feeding, as if giving a breast.

    Try daily touches. To experience greater intimacy with your child, do your newborn daily massage. Let the baby fall asleep on your chest, skin to the skin. In addition, carry the child in a special bag many hours per day. Go on long joint walks - like a loving couple.

    Think about the baby. In addition to physical contact, be constantly with your child's thoughts. While the child is asleep - it is better if you sleep with the child together, closely pressing against each other, - allow yourself the luxury of giving vent to maternal thoughts. All interruptions of their anxieties and worries related to work can be postponed in favor of this important work, which can only be done by you.

    Keep a diary. Write down how the child was born, focusing on the feelings that this had to test for you and what you are feeling right now. Write about both your feelings and the daily changes that you are celebrating with your developing child. It is easy to get carried away by your own sad thoughts and forget the precious moments that actually fall out to you with your child. If you fix these precious moments on paper, you will not feel stolen. Record keeping has a therapeutic effect and can help you focus on pleasant moments of communication with your child.

    Although fathers, unlike mothers, do not undergo hormonal and physiological changes, some degree of emotional decline is common for new-found fathers. The postpartum care of the fathers is mostly associated with increased responsibility( one more mouth needs to be fed), a sharp change in lifestyle and relationship with his wife, which they did not expect. Emotional, financial and sexual changes that occur during the post-natal period open a new season in marriage, a season in which, in a short period of time, one has to adapt to more difficulties than in any other period of life together. Just the same as the stages of the growth and development of the child go round the clock, the postpartum melancholy of mothers and fathers also passes.

    The large doses of touching the baby, taken as prescribed above, are the best treatment for a bad start. If this drug does not work, look for professional help from a psychotherapist who specializes in disorders of mother-child relationships.

    Tips for the Fathers

    All these ways to overcome depression seem to be simple, but in fact your wife will not perform them without an alien push. Here is the recipe for a medicine, much quicker and easier than a one-hour visit to a doctor: "I ordered an hour of hydro massage for you and I'll drive you there. I'll pick you up at six in the evening, and on the way back we'll look into the pizzeria. In addition, I myself want to take an hour to walk in the park with the baby. "

    To determine when it is nevertheless desirable to visit a physician, be sensitive to the symptoms of severe depression that requires professional attention. If the above symptoms do not disappear after you and your wife have followed all the recommendations recommended here, seek advice from your doctor. Today, for the treatment of postpartum depression, there are new approaches, including hormonal therapy. Just one caveat: if doctors recommend a treatment for which it is necessary to separate the mother from the baby, think twice. Separation, as our experience shows, only aggravates the problem.

    No matter how long they waited and how they wanted a child, couples usually find themselves caught off guard by the way this demanding little man challenges the relationship between wife and husband. This is part of the parent package! But if you are aware of what to expect, perhaps it will help you survive this new season in your marriage.

    Only for the fathers of

    Here are a few completely normal feelings that the newly born fathers express: "I feel thrown", "She just does what she does," "She loves our child too much," "We did not make love for a few weeks,"We need to get out of here - together."

    The new season in your marriage

    Both your feelings and your wife's attachment to the baby are equally normal. It is quite natural to conclude that your wife shows less interest to you. If you first figure out what completely normal changes occur to a woman in the postpartum period, it will be easier for you to understand why you feel such feelings and why your wife behaves this way.

    The woman has two sets of hormones: sexual hormones and maternal hormones. Before giving birth, the level of sexual hormones is higher than that of the mother, and her desire to be your girlfriend may have been higher than the desire to be a mother. After childbirth there is a hormonal coup. Her hormones, causing maternal feelings, prevail over the hormones that cause sexual desire. This transition from love directed at the husband to love aimed at the child is something like a nature insurance policy that provides for the offspring of this kind of care and care.

    In addition to these biological changes, another reason for your wife's apparent lack of sexual interest is that she is simply too tired. This new little creature makes great demands, and the woman has enough energy just enough to keep up with them. By the end of the day, most mothers feel so squeezed out by the never-ending requests of a newborn child that they want only one thing - to sleep. Mothers describe their feelings at the end of the working day as follows: "I no longer feel any desires or emotions in myself," "I feel completely worn out."These feelings only increase if you have a very demanding child and a large farm, as well as a stressful lifestyle.

    In the first weeks, mothers also realize that their energies are limits, and try to economize it by doing just what is needed, not what you want. One tired mother told us: "My child needs to be nursed;my husband wants sex. I do not have enough energy for both. "Within three to four months after childbirth( and sometimes only until weaning), most women do not have enough strength for a high level of intimacy, whether as a mother or a wife. It's normal, feel excluded from the close circle of mother-child relationships and come to the conclusion that your wife has lost interest in you. But these conclusions do not correspond to reality.

    Fathers, show understanding that the mother is biologically programmed to nurse her child. The child did not oust you, just part of the energy of your wife, before directed at you, is temporarily redirected to the child. This is the time when you first need to take care of your child and only think about sex for the second time, and ideally time to find the opportunity and strength for both, and for the other.