Independence and Sociability
Mar 08, 2018
It is done at the same time by the more dependent and independent. This seems like a paradox. Mother complains about her one-year-old son: "He starts to cry every time I leave the room."This does not mean that he developed a bad habit: he just grew enough to understand how much he depends on his mother. It's uncomfortable, but it's a good sign.
Becoming more dependent at this age, the child at the same time seeks to become more independent, to open new places, to get acquainted with new people.
Observe the baby crawling while mom washes the dishes. For a while he sat happily playing saucers and bowls. Then he gets bored, and he decides to explore the dining room. He crawls under furniture, picks up dust particles and tries them to taste, rises to his feet to reach the handle of the box. After a while, he seems to again feel the need for society, because suddenly rushes to the kitchen. Initially, the desire for independence won, and then the desire for security. Each of these needs the child satisfied in turn. As the months pass, he becomes bolder in his studies. He still needs a mother, but not so often. He creates his own independence, but his courage comes from the consciousness that he will be safe when he needs it.
I emphasize that independence is based not only on freedom, but also on security, because some people imagine it the other way around. They try to "work out" the child's independence, leaving him alone in the room for a long time, even when he cries for fear and calls his mother. I think that if he is forced to do anything, the child will not learn anything good.
A year-old child is at a crossroads. If he is given the opportunity, he will gradually become more independent: he will be more boldly communicating with strangers( adults and children), will rely more on himself, will become more cheerful. If they keep him locked up, they protect him from communication, if he gets used to the fact that only his mother is with him and she is always in his care, he will be firmly attached to her apron, timid with strangers, immersed in herself. How can you help him become independent?
Release him from the stroller when he learns to walk. When a child learns to walk, it must be released from the stroller during walks. It does not matter what gets dirty, so it should be. Try to walk in a place where you do not need to rush to him every minute and where he can stay with other children. If he picked up a cigarette butt, you'll have to run up, pick up and show something else interesting. You can not allow to eat sand or earth, because it irritates the intestines and because you can get infected with worms. If he pulls everything into his mouth, give him a hard cracker or some clean thing that he likes to chew so that his mouth is busy. Of course, if you will be able to walk a child in a wheelchair, this will save him from trouble, but he will not teach independence and independence. Some parents prefer to use a special children's harness, especially when they go with him to the store or to a crowded place. However, you can not use it to tie a child and leave one for a long time.
Release it from the arena if it asks. One child agrees to stay in the arena, even for a short while, even at the age of one and a half. And the other already at 9 months considers him a prison. The majority tolerate the arena until that age, until they learn to walk, that is, up to about a year and a quarter. I would advise letting the child out of the arena, if he does not like it there. I do not mean the first whine: if you let him play something new, he will be happy for at least an hour. The child grows out of the arena gradually. At first, the arena bores him, if you keep him in it too long. Gradually the child is losing patience. And after a while he will begin to resist at all, when he is put in a riding school. In any case, release it if he does not want to stay any longer.
Let him get used to strangers. At this age the child treats strangers suspiciously and suspiciously until he considers them properly. But then he can gradually get used to and make friends with them - in his own way, of course. He can just stand and look or seriously stretch a stranger to some object, and then take it away or bring something light from his room and put the guest on his knees.
Many adults do not have enough tact to leave the child alone until he gets used to them. They climb to him, pester him with conversations, and the child runs to the mother in search of protection. With such grown-ups, he does not become friends very soon. I think the mother should tell the guest at the very beginning: "Do not pay attention to him at first. He is shy. If we talk a little, he will learn and get acquainted with you. "
When your child learns walking, give him the opportunity to meet often with strangers and get used to them. Several times a week take it with you to the store. If possible, take them daily to a place where small children play. He still can not play with them, but he will watch. If he gets used to playing near them, then later, between the ages of two and three, he will learn to play with them faster. If he has never been.near three-year-olds, it will take months to get used to them.