How to find a common language with a teenager - find a common language with a teenager

  • How to find a common language with a teenager - find a common language with a teenager

    A child is always happiness. Starting from the diapers, and ending with the choice of work, mothers take care of them, give the best, try to protect. But sometimes there are moments when misunderstanding comes between children and parents. Especially often it happens when your kid has become an adult enough or a beautiful girl. So, problems arise with the achievement of adolescence.

    What for the period

    To begin with, let's examine what kind of concept this is, adolescence. It starts at the age of 12, and lasts until about 18 years. Sometimes this period is prolonged and longer, if the child lives with you. But now it's not about that. During puberty, adolescents have a hormonal background, which means that irritability, aggression, and independence appear, and a completely different vision of the world is formed.

    Finding a common language with a teenager

    It's important that you have special support at this difficult time. To do this, you need to find a common language with him. To simplify your task, here's a short action plan for the near future:

    Talk .Constant scandals, quarrels, mismatch of interests - that is what the parents of a teenager face.

    What is the problem with : Often children are not saying what they really think. They try to click on the most painful topics, but they do not do it on purpose. The thing is that they consider themselves lonely and unhappy, and try to make others like them.
    What to do: You must always be patient. Do not raise your voice at all, and do not respond to attacks - this will only exacerbate the situation. Always respond affectionately, without aggression. Sometimes it's better to just keep silent, and then everything will return to the circles of soy.

    . Joint interests of .It is at the age of 15 that an adult, independent personality begins to form, which does not need strong guardianship. And then there's disagreements.

    What is the problem with : For some reason, moms think that they will never find common interests with children, since they are "from different generations".In fact, they do not even try. Let's say music preferences. The main rule: never criticize the position of your child. Like him heavy rock or punk - let him listen. On the contrary, show interest. Ideal - get tickets to a rock concert - it will bring you closer than ever before.

    What to do : On the previous musical example, do the same with other interests. Walking with a teenager down the street, going to a cafe and visiting a movie theater, never take him too, as yourself, and do not impose his own tastes. It will be better if everything is the opposite. Do not like militants, and your son is crazy about them? Watch your figure, but your daughter prefers fried potatoes? Leave all your "adulthood" behind, and have fun together the way you did in your childhood. You from one serving of roast will not be anything, but the teenager will understand - you are on his side.

    Psychological problem .Excessive emotions of a teenager - this is the main problem in the relationship between a teenager and parents.

    What's the problem: Have you ever wondered how hard it is to be a teenager in the modern world. Problems in schools, envy of classmates, difficult economic and political situation in the country. With the same you face in your life, only training can be replaced with work. Tell me, no? So what's the problem?

    What to do : You've never tried to just talk to your child. How often do you hug them, say that you love, that you appreciate them? And let them say that they do not need support, in fact, they now need it like never before. With tears comes all the bitterness. Talk on topics that excite you and children. Remember how you lived at that age.

    Some tips for

    • Do not interfere with the teenager's private life, do not call his friends, do not question about his love. When the time comes, he will tell you everything.
    • Do not prohibit anything categorically. Once you put a strict ban on something, he immediately wants to break it.
    • Listen to the opinion of your child. For example, buy him the clothes he wants, and not which you like. In the end, this is his style, and you do not have to walk in it, but to him.

    From the personal experience of : try to understand your child, and accept him as he is. For example, I am a vegetarian. Somehow I just woke up, and realized that I could not eat meat any more. But my mother, this did not accept, and still does not accept. They think, if I'm not all right with the head, and I need to lead to a psychiatrist. As a result, instead of support, I got pain and disappointment. So is it worth it? Why influence the choice of their already grown-up child, who only shapes his life positions? Think about it, and do not make such mistakes.